Lighthouse Cove (South Carolina Sunsets Book 7), Rachel Hanna [best smutty novels txt] 📗

she was living a double life, constantly trying to pretend she was okay. She’d been involved in a case where a person was put into witness protection, and she often wondered what that life was like. Now, she had at least a small taste of it.

“When I was a kid, I used to save bugs. I drove my mother crazy because I was constantly bringing them into the house in Mason jars or her good Tupperware. But I didn’t want them to die. And if I stepped on one accidentally, I would cry. I couldn’t imagine hurting another living creature.”

“I was kind of that way too,” Janine said, smiling. “We’re tender hearted people, I guess.”

“So, when I was a police officer, I prided myself on taking care of the people of my community. Even the ones who did wrong, I treated with respect. I tried to never hurt anybody. Of course, I had to tackle people or handcuff them. That came with the job, but I always did it in the most respectful way I could no matter who they were or what they did.”

“I believe that about you.”

She could feel tears starting to roll down her cheeks. “And then there was that night. It was dark in the building, and the negotiators were outside trying to get him to give himself up. He just wouldn’t do it. In the back of my mind, I knew how many women he had raped, and I knew we couldn’t let him get out of there.”

“You don’t have to talk about this, Emma.”

“I walked down the dark hallway all by myself. I went in without any back up because I thought since I am small and pretty stealth, I could get in there. And I came around the corner, my gun drawn, and I was face-to-face with him. He had a gun on me, and I had a gun on him, and he had a hostage around in front of him in a chokehold.

“Oh my gosh…”

“It seemed like it lasted several minutes, but it was really only a few seconds. He yelled at me to drop the gun, and I yelled at him to drop his gun. And I could just see the look on that woman’s face. She was terrified. I knew he was crazy enough to just shoot her and me. And so I made a split second decision that I can’t take back. He obviously deserved to go to jail for the rest of his life, but I am the person who didn’t even want to step on a bug, and now I’ve taken a human life. I can’t take that back. It’s just permanently stuck there in my brain.”

“But you saved a human life. You saved that woman, Emma. And now she can live the rest of her life doing good things in the community. I’m sure she has a family that is very grateful for what you did that night.”

“I know logically that I did the right thing. My bosses all told me that I did the right thing. I even got a commendation for heroism, but I see his face. I see him laying on the ground when I go to sleep at night. I see what nobody else had to see, and I just can’t get it out of my mind. I wake up every night drenched in sweat, heart pounding. My own screaming wakes me up sometimes.”

Janine stood up walked over and hugged Emma around the neck. Emma leaned her head over onto Janine’s shoulder and just cried. She hadn’t cried since the night of the shooting. She’d kept it all inside, pushing it down until it was almost like a can of soda that someone had shaken up.

“I know what it’s like to have trauma, and I also know that you have to talk this out in a way that helps you get past it and forgive yourself. I would like for you to come to a support group with me. Even if you’re not ready to talk to a counselor yet, my support group for trauma survivors is wonderful.”

“I don’t know…”

“Emma, let this new start be a real new start. Don’t let it just be the place you’re running to in order to get away from what happened. Let people support you. These people understand. I promise.”

Finally, Emma felt a weight lifted off of her shoulders. She felt lighter just knowing that someone else knew her secret. The burden wasn’t hers alone to carry now.

“Do you feel differently about me now that you know?”

Janine shook her head. “Absolutely not. I feel like we’re sisters. We’ve both suffered trauma, and we’re both survivors. And I’m thriving now. You’re going to be thriving soon too. Just take my hand and let me help you.”

Emma looked down at Janine holding out her hand. Was it time for her to finally get past this? Was it time for her to open up and let other people in? She reached out and took Janine’s hand.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Janine said, smiling as tears rolled down her face too. She hugged Emma even tighter. “We’re going to do this together.”

Chapter 10

Julie was up bright and early ready for the spring festival. It was one of her favorite parts of the year because it meant that the warmer weather was being ushered in along with all of the tourists who would not only bring more money to the bookstore but also to the inn. Both of her businesses relied heavily on welcoming people to Seagrove.

The spring festival brought in tourists from all over the area, but also all of the locals. It was so great to see everyone in one place and take the time to relax and catch up on all of the town’s gossip. She had been sitting at the table for Down Yonder Books for the last couple of hours, handing out free bookmarks and discount coupons.

“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” her mother, SuAnn, asked as she