R.U.R., Karel Čapek [best classic romance novels .txt] 📗

epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Crosses to end of couch. Do you know anything about anatomy? Helena Very little. Domin Neither do I. Well⁠—He laughs⁠—he then decided to manufacture everything as in the human body. I’ll show you in the museum the bungling attempt it took him ten years to produce. It was to have been a man, but it lived for three days only. Then up came young Rossum, an engineer. He was a wonderful fellow, Miss Glory. When he saw what a mess of it the old man was making he said: “It’s absurd to spend ten years making a man. If you can’t make him quicker than Nature, you might as well shut up shop.” Then he set about learning anatomy himself. Helena There’s nothing about that in the school books? Domin No. The school books are full of paid advertisements, and rubbish at that. What the school books say about the united efforts of the two great Rossums is all a fairy tale. They used to have dreadful rows. The old atheist hadn’t the slightest conception of industrial matters, and the end of it was that Young Rossum shut him up in some laboratory or other and let him fritter the time away with his monstrosities while he himself started on the business from an engineer’s point of view. Old Rossum cursed him and before he died he managed to botch up two physiological horrors. Then one day they found him dead in the laboratory. And that’s his whole story. Helena And what about the young man? Domin Sits beside her on couch. Well, anyone who has looked into human anatomy will have seen at once that man is too complicated, and that a good engineer could make him more simply. So young Rossum began to overhaul anatomy to see what could be left out or simplified. In short⁠—But this isn’t boring you, Miss Glory? Helena No, indeed. You’re⁠—It’s awfully interesting. Domin Gets closer. So young Rossum said to himself: “A man is something that feels happy, plays the piano, likes going for a walk, and, in fact, wants to do a whole lot of things that are really unnecessary.” Helena Oh. Domin That are unnecessary when he wants⁠—Takes her hand⁠—let us say, to weave or count. Do you play the piano? Helena Yes. Domin That’s good. Kisses her hand. She lowers her head. Oh, I beg your pardon! Rises. But a working machine must not play the piano, must not feel happy, must not do a whole lot of other things. A gasoline motor must not have tassels or ornaments, Miss Glory. And to manufacture artificial workers is the same thing as the manufacture of a gasoline motor. She is not interested. The process must be the simplest, and the product the best from a practical point of view. Sits beside her again. What sort of worker do you think is the best from a practical point of view? Helena Absently. What? Looks at him. Domin What sort of worker do you think is the best from a practical point of view? Helena Pulling herself together. Oh! Perhaps the one who is most honest and hardworking. Domin No. The one that is the cheapest. The one whose requirements are the smallest. Young Rossum invented a worker with the minimum amount of requirements. He had to simplify him. He rejected everything that did not contribute directly to the progress of work. Everything that makes man more expensive. In fact he rejected man and made the Robot. My dear Miss Glory, the Robots are not people. Mechanically they are more perfect than we are; they have an enormously developed intelligence, but they have no soul. Leans back. Helena How do you know they have no soul? Domin Have you ever seen what a Robot looks like inside? Helena No. Domin Very neat, very simple. Really a beautiful piece of work. Not much in it, but everything in flawless order. The product of an engineer is technically at a higher pitch of perfection than a product of Nature. Helena But man is supposed to be the product of God. Domin All the worse. God hasn’t the slightest notion of modern engineering. Would you believe that young Rossum then proceeded to play at being God? Helena Awed. How do you mean? Domin He began to manufacture Super-Robots. Regular giants they were. He tried to make them twelve feet tall. But you wouldn’t believe what a failure they were. Helena A failure? Domin Yes. For no reason at all their limbs used to keep snapping off. “Evidently our planet is too small for giants.” Now we only make Robots of normal size and of very high-class human finish. Helena Hands him flower; he puts it in buttonhole. I saw the first Robots at home. The Town Council bought them for⁠—I mean engaged them for work. Domin No. Bought them, Miss Glory. Robots are bought and sold. Helena These were employed as street-sweepers. I saw them sweeping. They were so strange and quiet. Domin Rises. Rossum’s Universal Robot factory doesn’t produce a uniform brand of Robots. We have Robots of finer and coarser grades. The best will live about twenty years. Crosses to desk. Helena looks in her pocket mirror. He pushes button on desk. Helena Then they die? Domin Yes, they get used up. Enter Marius, R. Domin crosses to C. Marius, bring in samples of the manual labor Robot. Exit Marius R. C. I’ll show you specimens of the two extremes. This first grade is comparatively inexpensive and is made in vast quantities. Marius re-enters R. C. with two manual labor Robots. Marius is L. C., Robots R. C., Domin at desk. Marius stands on tiptoes, touches head, feels arms, forehead of one of the Robots. They come to a mechanical standstill. There you are, as powerful as a small tractor. Guaranteed to have average intelligence. That will do, Marius. Marius exits R. C.