Caught in Us (Caught Series Book 4), Kacey Shea [top 50 books to read .TXT] 📗

Mav promised me a date and our sitter will be over in an hour.”

“That’s not why I’m calling.”

“Oh. Sorry.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “What’s up?”

“I uh, need some advice. Kid advice. Is Maverick around?”

“He’s taking a shower. I can have him call you in thirty minutes?”

“Oh, yeah.” I’ve waited years, what’s a few more minutes. “Sure.”

“Unless there’s something I can help you with?”

Shoot. Might as well ask Vanessa; she probably has better advice anyway. Their son, Levi, will be three next month.

“If you were going to plan a casual, fun day out where would you take Levi?”

“Oh, well, depends on the weather, I guess. There’s a farm over in Ashland that has a petting zoo. Levi is obsessed with the goats. But I’d call first, because one day we ended up there the same time as a school field trip and it was kind of insane keeping track of him.”

“Okay.” That could work.

“Oh! I know! Have you been to the Richmond Children’s Museum? It’s all centered on play. They’ve got this giant structure made of recycled materials that Levi loves. It’s not like the museums when we were kids. Everything’s hands-on and interactive—painting, a play kitchen, a race track with tricycles. Plus, it’s indoors and a contained environment, which helps when you’re chasing around a toddler.”

“That sounds perfect.” Excitement builds in my chest. “Oh, one more thing. What kind of toys is Levi into these days?”

“You’re not buying him another motorized jeep, are you? Because the kid is spoiled rotten as it is.”

“No, no.” I laugh. “I’m spending tomorrow with . . .” I pause, not wanting to have this conversation over the phone. Besides, if I tell Vanessa I have a child before I tell Mav, my best friend might disown me. “A friend and her son. He’s about the same age as Levi.”

“Well, do you know what he likes? Some kids love books, or figurines, or more imaginative play. Others would rather run around and dig in the mud.”

Fuck. I can’t answer her questions. It hits me that I know nothing about my own child. I don’t even know the day he was born. “I don’t know.”

“I mean, if you end up going to the museum just hit the gift shop on the way out. The toys aren’t cheap but they’ve got nice stuff, and by then you’ll know what he likes. Or let him pick something out.”

“Thanks, I think I’ll do that.” I take a deep breath, reminding myself I can’t fix or make up for the last three years overnight. The important thing is that I’m spending tomorrow with my son. “I appreciate the help.”

“Of course. Anytime. Did you still want Mav to call you back?”

“Nah, you two enjoy your night out.”

“Oh, we will,” she draws out. “It’s been way too long. Months.”

“Hey.” I chuckle. “I don’t need to know about your and Mav’s sex life.”

“I’m not talking about that, though it’s almost as bad. I’m talking about it’s been months since we’ve had dinner without a chatty, rambunctious toddler interrupting. I’m excited to have a meal where I don’t have to cook, clean, or cut the food into non-choking sized bites.”

I chuckle. “You two need to get out more.”

“Tell me about it. You volunteering to babysit?”

“Hell, yeah. You know I love that little monster.” I love him in the same way I do my niece. Maverick is my found family. A vision of our sons growing up together, being best buds, warms my chest. “Just let me know when.”

“Oh, I will. You don’t know what you’re in for.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You also haven’t done bedtime with our little monster. He’s earned that nickname. You’ll understand when you have kids.”

But I already do. My anticipation for tomorrow is dulled by the pain for all the moments that’ve passed without me. The sleepless nights. Teething. First steps. First words. I missed them all. “Hey, Vanessa, I’ve got to go. Thanks again.” I rush her off the call and take a long inhale to calm my racing pulse.

I’m angry with Alicia for not letting me in sooner. For keeping Matthew from me. For doubting I could be a good father to him. A good partner to her.

I’m sad for her too. Because she’s been through all of this alone. I’ve watched Maverick and Vanessa navigate these years with lots of joy, but struggle too. I can only imagine how difficult this has been for Alicia.

But most of all I’m confused because of the way I feel. How much I’m drawn to her, not because she’s Matthew’s mother, but because those old feelings I thought I left behind are still there. I am attracted to her. More than ever, and I want her. In every way. Including the ones I shouldn’t. Because I’m with someone else.

I don’t know what to do about that. I don’t want to lose Julia. We’re good together. She accepts me fully and I care deeply for her. But how can I pretend that the feelings I have for Alicia don’t exist? I can’t. Not after today.

The sun is setting as I pull onto my street. I spot Julia’s car parked behind Jill’s, and my stomach drops. I’m not ready to tell her about Alicia—or my son—but the universe seems to have other plans. I didn’t know she was going to stop by tonight. She probably came to see if Jill needed help with the wedding. That’s the kind of person she is. Generous. Kind. Good.

She deserves better. She deserves a man who doesn’t kiss his ex. Shame fills my chest, and I almost turn the truck around so I can avoid seeing her again. God, what I am doing?

I can’t dodge Julia forever, but for now I’d like to. I pull my truck into the driveway, still unsure of what I’m going to say, or whether I should tell her. Maybe it would be better to wait. Give myself a full twenty-four hours to process. Spend time with my son first.