Don Quixote, Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra [reading well .txt] 📗

be a very ripe one,” said Sancho, “for you won’t lose the trick in years by a point too little.”

“Son of a bitch,” said the duenna, all aglow with anger, “whether I’m old or not, it’s with God I have to reckon, not with you, you garlic-stuffed scoundrel!” and she said it so loud, that the duchess heard it, and turning round and seeing the duenna in such a state of excitement, and her eyes flaming so, asked whom she was wrangling with.

“With this good fellow here,” said the duenna, “who has particularly requested me to go and put an ass of his that is at the castle gate into the stable, holding it up to me as an example that they did the same I don’t know where⁠—that some ladies waited on one Lancelot, and duennas on his hack; and what is more, to wind up with, he called me old.”

“That,” said the duchess, “I should have considered the greatest affront that could be offered me;” and addressing Sancho, she said to him, “You must know, friend Sancho, that Doña Rodriguez is very youthful, and that she wears that hood more for authority and custom sake than because of her years.”

“May all the rest of mine be unlucky,” said Sancho, “if I meant it that way; I only spoke because the affection I have for my ass is so great, and I thought I could not commend him to a more kindhearted person than the lady Doña Rodriguez.”

Don Quixote, who was listening, said to him, “Is this proper conversation for the place, Sancho?”

“Señor,” replied Sancho, “everyone must mention what he wants wherever he may be; I thought of Dapple here, and I spoke of him here; if I had thought of him in the stable I would have spoken there.”

On which the duke observed, “Sancho is quite right, and there is no reason at all to find fault with him; Dapple shall be fed to his heart’s content, and Sancho may rest easy, for he shall be treated like himself.”

While this conversation, amusing to all except Don Quixote, was proceeding, they ascended the staircase and ushered Don Quixote into a chamber hung with rich cloth of gold and brocade; six damsels relieved him of his armour and waited on him like pages, all of them prepared and instructed by the duke and duchess as to what they were to do, and how they were to treat Don Quixote, so that he might see and believe they were treating him like a knight-errant. When his armour was removed, there stood Don Quixote in his tight-fitting breeches and chamois doublet, lean, lanky, and long, with cheeks that seemed to be kissing each other inside; such a figure, that if the damsels waiting on him had not taken care to check their merriment (which was one of the particular directions their master and mistress had given them), they would have burst with laughter. They asked him to let himself be stripped that they might put a shirt on him, but he would not on any account, saying that modesty became knights-errant just as much as valour. However, he said they might give the shirt to Sancho; and shutting himself in with him in a room where there was a sumptuous bed, he undressed and put on the shirt; and then, finding himself alone with Sancho, he said to him, “Tell me, thou new-fledged buffoon and old booby, dost thou think it right to offend and insult a duenna so deserving of reverence and respect as that one just now? Was that a time to bethink thee of thy Dapple, or are these noble personages likely to let the beasts fare badly when they treat their owners in such elegant style? For God’s sake, Sancho, restrain thyself, and don’t show the thread so as to let them see what a coarse, boorish texture thou art of. Remember, sinner that thou art, the master is the more esteemed the more respectable and well-bred his servants are; and that one of the greatest advantages that princes have over other men is that they have servants as good as themselves to wait on them. Dost thou not see⁠—shortsighted being that thou art, and unlucky mortal that I am!⁠—that if they perceive thee to be a coarse clown or a dull blockhead, they will suspect me to be some impostor or swindler? Nay, nay, Sancho friend, keep clear, oh, keep clear of these stumbling-blocks; for he who falls into the way of being a chatterbox and droll, drops into a wretched buffoon the first time he trips; bridle thy tongue, consider and weigh thy words before they escape thy mouth, and bear in mind we are now in quarters whence, by God’s help, and the strength of my arm, we shall come forth mightily advanced in fame and fortune.”

Sancho promised him with much earnestness to keep his mouth shut, and to bite off his tongue before he uttered a word that was not altogether to the purpose and well considered, and told him he might make his mind easy on that point, for it should never be discovered through him what they were.

Don Quixote dressed himself, put on his baldric with his sword, threw the scarlet mantle over his shoulders, placed on his head a montera of green satin that the damsels had given him, and thus arrayed passed out into the large room, where he found the damsels drawn up in double file, the same number on each side, all with the appliances for washing the hands, which they presented to him with profuse obeisances and ceremonies. Then came twelve pages, together with the seneschal, to lead him to dinner, as his hosts were already waiting for him. They placed him in the midst of them, and with much pomp and stateliness they conducted him into another room, where there was a sumptuous table laid with but four covers. The duchess and the duke