Karma's Spell (Magical Midlife in Mystic Hollow Book 1), Lacey Andersen [best book club books .txt] 📗

The bouncer turned from letting two giggly girls into the club, who were surprisingly adept on stripper heels with their thongs practically hanging out, and looked down at us. He laughed out loud and shook his head. “No way. Come on.” He turned and looked at the two guys standing on either side of the door. “Are you guys punking me?”

They shook their heads and looked at Beth and I in amusement. Their lips quirked up just a little at one corner, each one a mirror of the other.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

The bouncer looked down at us again, and I caught a glimpse of fang. Oh, shit. He was a vampire. “You’re old.”

I bet you're older if you're a vampire, I thought, not that I'd ever say it out loud. I took a step, preparing to turn and leave empty handed, but Beth had other ideas.

“Excuse me?” she hissed as she stepped forward and looked up. The giant of a man—vampire—didn’t flinch. And honestly, a cute witch versus a bodybuilding vampire that looked like he should be on the cover of a romance novel? Why would he? Beth practically growled as she demanded, “Did you just say old?”

He didn’t move, but somehow he seemed bigger and more threatening as he glared down at Beth. His bulk looked like it was growing in my line of sight, though I was sure that wasn't what was happening. He was probably just flexing, beefing himself up to get Beth to back down. I was certainly willing to back down and leave since I couldn't help but think of how he could smush us like bugs.

“Hey, let’s just go,” I whispered. “We don’t want to piss these guys off.”

But the main bouncer wasn’t having it. “Take these two grandmas into the back and teach them a lesson about respect,” he said in a voice so low I wasn’t sure the other two could hear it.

They must’ve, though, because they stepped forward. I stepped back, ready to run for the car with a scream building in my throat, but once they were close to grabbing her, Beth raised her hand and threw some sort of powder into all three of their faces. The white cloud started small, erupting from her hand like a volcano, and as it reached them it turned shimmery in the spotlight that shone above the door. It only lasted for a moment before the powder vanished completely.

The enormous men blinked rapidly, and one of them sneezed. The burst of noise seemed to shake them from their stupor, then they all shook their heads in unison. “Let us in,” Beth said in a low voice.

The bouncer nodded and stepped back, and his two goons went to their positions at the door, one of them reaching over and opening it as Beth and I walked in.

Well, Beth strutted in like she owned the place. I looked behind me to see if any of the kids had noticed, but no one had even glanced in our direction. Was this a witch thing? Could humans not see what we did? I’d have to ask later. For now, I needed to follow Beth, who was evidently pleased with getting her way. I, on the other hand, more scurried and cowered as I made my way through the doors.

And as soon as I stepped foot inside, I slammed straight into someone’s back. “Oh, I’m sorry,” I said, but the music was too loud.

The woman and her friends, the ones who had been in line ahead of us, turned and leered. She looked me over, then Beth, her lip curling upward in a sneer. “Old bitch.” I couldn’t hear her, but her lips weren’t hard to read.

One of the others looked at Beth and just as I glanced her way, I saw her mouth move. “Fatass.”

Oh, hell, no. Vampires were one thing, but no way I was letting this child get away with calling my friend fat.

Almost in unison, the three of them clutched their stomachs. Their brows all pinched in a familiar way, one that said trouble was on the horizon. The music stopped, and as it always was in places like this when the loud song was over, the silence deafened for a moment. But another song didn’t immediately come on, so when the one who called Beth a fatass farted, it was like an echo, ricocheting across the club.

Her friends stared at her in shock, but then one of them doubled over and moaned. Suddenly, as my gaze shifted to the people behind them, I realized that everyone was looking in this direction. Their gazes focused on the girls in front of us as the three of them and their butts started sounding like trumpets. Little honks, and big, flapping claps of ass cheeks, and not in the sexy dancer way either. These were high-pitched whines. Combine that with the moans that were coming from them? They were a cacophony of noise.

As though they couldn’t stand the horror on everyone's faces any longer, the girls ran toward what I assumed was a bathroom, or who knows? Maybe it was just a closet. It seemed like they would go anywhere so long as it got them out of the spotlight.

I really hoped it was a bathroom for the sake of the cleaning crew. The one that had called us old had a distinctive brown trail running down the inside and back of her legs as she waddled through the doorway. The sour notes that had been on the air were finally cut off as the door closed behind them.

The moment it did, everyone around us burst out laughing. The few people that were closest to us had tears running down their faces as they doubled over with laughter. I couldn't help but wonder if the tears were actually from the laughter or from the smell that was still lingering in the air.

I stared at them all, shock brimming within me. Had I done that?

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