Chances Come, Ney Mitch [snow like ashes series TXT] 📗

gave me a weak smile. “I am not afraid, I assure you. I simply know what you allude to.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. You are, perhaps, wondering about me enjoying the company of a certain soldier who comes to dine with us.”

“Yes, I possibly am. I am not making any assumptions, for I am aware just how often us women’s minds can leap so quickly from mere friendship to romance.”

“Precisely.” Jane looked back at the fire and said nothing. Yet, I knew to wait. She was the sort of person who sometimes needed a few minutes of silence before she spoke about something that might affect her deeply. “Well, with the Colonel, I admit that I enjoy his company.”

“If you enjoy it in a disinterested manner, where it is purely innocent, then that is suitable. If you enjoy him in a way that may shift into romantic inclinations, then that is suitable as well.”

“I am not even aware that he likes me in any particular way. Perhaps, he just enjoys my company.”

“Yes, perhaps it may be so. Colonel Fitzwilliam has always enjoyed the company of lovely women. It is his way. Either way, I cannot know for certain what he feels,” I lied. “For I, nor anyone for that matter, have the ability to read other people’s minds.”

Jane pondered this. “Then his attentions could merely be friendly. I do not wish to pursue any romantic inclinations for a man when I do not know if he cares for me in the same sort of style.”

“Oh, it matters not what he feels. If you are feeling a soft sort of affection for him, then feel it. Even if he does not and it comes to nothing, you can enjoy this as another experience in life. I am beginning to find, slowly, that not all romances have to lead to marriage. Sometimes, we can feel something just for the sake of knowing that our hearts are still working.”

“That is a very nice sort of theory.” Jane looked at me more intently. “Yes, I do believe that I like that philosophy. The idea of feeling something romantic for the sake of the feeling and not for the end result of it. After all, look what happened when I did begin to consider matrimonial plans for Mr. Bingley. He left Hertfordshire and never came back again to visit. Perhaps, living for the moment, rather than the day after it, is a healthier thing to do.”

I bit my lip. I did not wish to tell her that Mr. Bingley would be at the ball that we were soon to attend. I had wished for it to be a surprise.

Yet, perhaps now, I had no choice in the matter.

“Jane, while I do like that philosophy, I know, for certain, that we shall see Mr. Bingley soon.”

Her look of surprise was almost amusing. “You do?”

“We are staying at the home of his bosom friend, Mr. Darcy. It is only a matter of time before he returns to town and we encounter him. Therefore, you shall see him again. I know it.”

“If I do, then I had best not show any regard for the Colonel at all! For, by doing so, it looks as if I would be flirting with a man when in the presence of a man who I once considered marrying.”

“Can you, though?” I asked her. “Do you believe that you have it in you to become cold towards the Colonel?”

Jane looked ahead and her lip began to tremble.

“I hate the idea of it,” she confessed. “I do not think I could bear the idea of being cold towards him. I like his company and would not wish for him to feel forsaken by me. And yet, it would also be imprudent of me to encourage him, if his feelings toward me prove to be anything else but friendly.” She put her face in her hands. “Oh, Lizzy! What does one do when both actions are the wrong course of action to take?”

“You have no choice but to just feel as you feel and be done with it.”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means that you can still be friendly with the Colonel, for you do not know his feelings toward you yet. He has made no serious offers to you. Therefore, you are still free. And with Mr. Bingley, you have not seen him yet. To you, he is still just a memory. Therefore, when you see him again, only then can you determine how you feel.”

“I still feel deeply for him.”

“Then let everything unfold as it will. Be friendly with the Colonel and be happy to see Bingley. Do not close yourself off to anything just yet, because you are not certain on anything. Time will help you choose what course it is that you must take. But cherish this time. Do not worry about your confusion. Simply look ahead and be amused at how life is turning out for us. Live for the moment and not for what may or may not happen tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is not a very sure thing for any of us. And do not feel guilty for anything. That is a very stupid thing to do.”

“Very well,” Jane agreed, “yes. I shall just see how things fall into place. And I will just enjoy myself until then, not acting rashly in any direction. Good! For I did not want to spend the rest of the evening ignoring the Colonel. I detested the idea of it.”

Soon we were joined by the men.

In the heat of the moment, I felt that I was not ready to tell Jane of the Colonel’s true feelings. After all, his emotions could accidentally dictate her own. And one must not do that.



Upon immediately entering, Colonel Fitzwilliam approached Jane directly.

“I feel very selfish,” he said, “but Darcy has a silhouette kit and I have always wished to see if I can draw a woman’s silhouette. Would you mind if I used you as