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anywhere we go.”

“Go! Go!” Matthew cheers from the back. It’s the perfect icebreaker and some of the tension falls away.

“Okay, buddy.” I check the rearview window, smiling at the pure excitement on his face. “Let’s go.” Moving the gearshift to park, I rev the engine a few times, earning a few claps of approval from Matthew.

“Oh, my God.” Alicia laughs, rolling her eyes. “Don’t be a showoff.”

“I can’t help it,” I tease, shifting into drive and pulling onto the street with caution. The drive is quick, and the entire time I feel Alicia’s stare. I wonder if her mind is full of questions she wishes she could ask. Mine sure is. I want to fill in all the gaps from the last three years. From the simple things like whether she still runs from birds, to much bigger ones like whether she sees herself staying in London or would she consider moving back to Richmond.

I don’t know what the future looks like, but I can’t imagine living on another continent from my child. My life is here. Hers is there. Fuck. I need to research work visas.

But those are worries for later.

Today is about staying present and giving these two people my full attention.

“Mama! Go! Up! Up!” Matty laughs and commands Alicia to hold him higher so his little arms can reach up to the top of the current exhibit we’ve been at for a good twenty minutes. A raceway with ramps connects to a climbing structure where the kids can send little wooden cars down to race each other. Of course, Matthew prefers the ramp he can’t quite reach, so Alicia is on the play structure with him while I fetch the toy cars and hand them up.

Thankfully, the museum is pretty dead. Most of the families cleared out around lunchtime but because Matthew was having so much fun we decided to stay a little longer. After a quick bite from the snack bar he was recharged and ready to go, but his lack of a nap is starting to show.

“Mama, go!” he shouts, more impatient with his demand.

“We’re going. We’re going,” she says, hoisting him up so he can drop a truck onto the ramp.

He squeals, his laughter infectious, cheering as it rolls to a stop by my feet.

I pick it up and walk back over, handing it off to his greedy little hands. “He could do this all day.” I laugh.

“Hours.” She nods, her smile a mix of pride and exhaustion. “Repetition is what this age is all about.”

“Mama! Go!” This time his scream is angry and his foot stomps when she doesn’t move to his demands.

She scoops him up and meets my gaze over his head. “I think we better wrap this up before he has a total meltdown.”

“Mama! Go!” He waves the wooden truck as if he’d like to chuck it over the edge.

“It might be too late for that.” She winces, catching his fist and the toy in her hand to draw his gaze to hers. “Matthew. This is the last one. One more time. Then we have to go.”

His face scrunches up, his features twisting with displeasure. “No. No go!”

“Hey, bud. How about we take a ride to go see more toys? You wanna take a ride?”

“Mo’ toys?” He blinks, the tension leaving his body at the idea. “Mo’ toys now?”

I have to bite back my laughter. The way he says things is too cute. “Yeah!” I nod, holding my hands out. “Let’s go find more toys and take a ride!”

He doesn’t even glance at Alicia, the truck she confiscated already forgotten as he scrambles down out of her arms and practically leaps into mine. There’s something about it. The total trust. The adoration in his wide eyes. His innocence. I’ve only known him a short time, but already this boy has my heart.

“Come on.” I lift him over my head and onto my shoulders. “Let’s go find more toys.”

“You better not be making empty promises,” Alicia teases, though there’s a bite to her words. She climbs down from the play structure, taking my hand a short moment for balance. Awareness of her skin on mine zings through my body.

I’ve always found her attractive, but after today, watching her care for our son, witnessing how patient and joyful she is with him—it stirs memories from the summer we shared. It’s a magnetism simmering just below the surface that we’re both stepping around. If I wasn’t with Julia, I probably would act on it, which only adds to the confusion between us. What are we to each other? Over time will this desire fade, or will it only grow stronger?

I think I know the answer, and frankly it doesn’t scare me as much as it should.

As we walk through the museum, I focus on clearing ceiling heights with Matthew on my shoulders. I hold on to him tightly, but as soon as he notices us walking toward the exit, he shares his thoughts on our direction.

“No go. No. Mo’ toys!”

Alicia sighs. “We’ll be lucky if we make it out of here without a full-blown tantrum.”

“He’s pretty easygoing most of the time, though?” I ask, making the assumption on his personality today. He’s busy. Curious. The kid has buckets of energy. But he’s not rude or territorial like some of the other kids we came across.

“Oh, yeah.” She nods. “But going on no nap and lots of play, it’s a matter of when, not if.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to keep my word.” I stop outside the gift shop doors, and slide Matthew off my shoulders. “Let’s go find a toy, okay?” I say before setting him on his feet. He takes off running to the first display—a table of trains.

“You’re going to spoil him, aren’t you?” she asks, but she doesn’t seem terribly upset. If anything, more amused.

“I have a few years to make up for.” The second the words leave my lips, I regret them.

Alicia’s smile falters and she turns away,

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