The Conjure Woman, Charles W. Chesnutt [reading women txt] 📗

met a stranger, de ham would be de fus’ thing de stranger would see. Most un ’em would ’mence’ ter laf, en whareber Dave went he could see folks p’intin’ at him, en year ’em sayin’:⁠—

“ ‘W’at kine er collar dat nigger got roun’ his neck?’ er, ef dey knowed ’im, ‘Is yer stole any mo’ hams lately?’ er ‘W’at yer take fer yo’ neckliss, Dave?’ er some joke er ’nuther ’bout dat ham.

“Fus’ Dave didn’ mine it so much, caze he knowed he hadn’ done nuffin. But bimeby he got so he couldn’ stan’ it no longer, en he’d hide hisse’f in de bushes w’eneber he seed anybody comin’, en alluz kep’ hisse’f shet up in his cabin atter he come in fum wuk.

“It wuz monst’us hard on Dave, en bimeby, w’at wid dat ham eberlastin’ en etarnally draggin’ roun’ his neck, he ’mence’ fer ter do en say quare things, en make de niggers wonder ef he wa’n’t gittin’ out’n his mine. He got ter gwine roun’ talkin’ ter hisse’f, en singin’ corn-shuckin’ songs, en laffin’ fit ter kill ’bout nuffin. En one day he tole one er de niggers he had ’skivered a noo way fer ter raise hams⁠—gwine ter pick ’em off’n trees, en save de expense er smoke-’ouses by kyoin’ ’em in de sun. En one day he up’n tole Mars Walker he got sump’n pertickler fer ter say ter ’im; en he tuk Mars Walker off ter one side, en tole ’im he wuz gwine ter show ’im a place in de swamp whar dey wuz a whole trac’ er lan’ covered wid ham-trees.

“Wen Mars Walker hearn Dave talkin’ dis kine er fool-talk, en w’en he seed how Dave wuz ’mencin’ ter git behine in his wuk, en w’en he ax’ de niggers en dey tole ’im how Dave be’n gwine on, he ’lowed he reckon’ he’d punish’ Dave ernuff, en it mou’t do mo’ harm dan good fer ter keep de ham on his neck any longer. So he sont Dave down ter de blacksmif-shop en had de ham tuk off. Dey wa’n’t much er de ham lef’ by dat time, fer de sun had melt all de fat, en de lean had all swivel’ up, so dey wa’n’t but th’ee er fo’ poun’s lef’.

“W’en de ham had be’n tuk off’n Dave, folks kinder stopped talkin’ ’bout ’im so much. But de ham had be’n on his neck so long dat Dave had sorter got use’ ter it. He look des lack he’d los’ sump’n fer a day er so atter de ham wuz tuk off, en didn’ ’pear ter know w’at ter do wid hisse’f; en fine’ly he up’n tuk’n tied a lighterd-knot ter a string, en hid it under de flo’ er his cabin, en w’en nobody wuzn’ lookin’ he’d take it out en hang it roun’ his neck, en go off in de woods en holler en sing; en he allus tied it roun’ his neck w’en he went ter sleep. Fac’, it ’peared lack Dave done gone clean out’n his mine. En atter a w’ile he got one er de quarest notions you eber hearn tell un. It wuz ’bout dat time dat I come back ter de plantation fer ter wuk⁠—I had be’n out ter Mars Dugal’s yuther place on Beaver Crick for a mont’ er so. I had hearn ’bout Dave en de bacon, en ’bout w’at wuz gwine on on de plantation; but I didn’ b’lieve w’at dey all say ’bout Dave, fer I knowed Dave wa’n’t dat kine er man. One day atter I come back, me’n Dave wuz choppin’ cotton tergedder, w’en Dave lean’ on his hoe, en motion’ fer me ter come ober close ter ’im; en den he retch’ ober en w’ispered ter me.

“ ‘Julius,’ sezee, ‘did yer knowed yer wuz wukkin’ long yer wid a ham?’

“I couldn’ ’magine w’at he meant. ‘G’way fum yer, Dave,’ says I. ‘Yer ain’ wearin’ no ham no mo’; try en fergit ’bout dat; ’t ain’ gwine ter do yer no good fer ter ’member it.’

“ ‘Look a-yer, Julius,’ sezee, ‘kin yer keep a secret?’

“ ‘Co’se I kin, Dave,’ says I. ‘I doan go roun’ tellin’ people w’at yuther folks says ter me.’

“ ‘Kin I trus’ yer, Julius? Will yer cross yo’ heart?’

“I cross’ my heart. ‘Wush I may die ef I tells a soul,’ says I.

“Dave look’ at me des lack he wuz lookin’ thoo me en ’way on de yuther side er me, en sezee:⁠—

“ ‘Did yer knowed I wuz turnin’ ter a ham, Julius?’

“I tried ter ’suade Dave dat dat wuz all foolishness, en dat he oughtn’t ter be talkin’ dat-a-way⁠—hit wa’n’t right. En I tole ’im ef he’d des be patien’, de time would sho’ly come w’en eve’ything would be straighten’ out, en folks would fine out who de rale rogue wuz w’at stole de bacon. Dave ’peared ter listen ter w’at I say, en promise’ ter do better, en stop gwine on dat-a-way; en it seem lack he pick’ up a bit w’en he seed dey wuz one pusson didn’ b’lieve dem tales ’bout ’im.

“Hit wa’n’t long atter dat befo’ Mars Archie McIntyre, ober on de Wimbleton road, ’mence’ ter complain ’bout somebody stealin’ chickens fum his hen-’ouse. De chickens kep’ on gwine, en at las’ Mars Archie tole de han’s on his plantation dat he gwine ter shoot de fus’ man he ketch in his hen-’ouse. In less’n a week atter he gin dis warnin’, he cotch a nigger in de hen-’ouse, en fill’ ’im full er squir’l-shot. W’en he got a light, he ’skivered it wuz a strange nigger; en w’en he call’ one er his own sarven’s, de nigger tole ’im it wuz our Wiley. W’en Mars Archie foun’ dat out, he sont ober ter our plantation fer ter tell Mars Dugal’ he had shot one er his niggers, en dat he could sen’ ober dere en git w’at wuz lef un ’im.

“Mars Dugal’ wuz mad at fus’; but w’en he got ober dere