The Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers, Diogenes Laërtius [the gingerbread man read aloud TXT] 📗

us in the eighth book of his Universal History. And he was also the first person who introduced the analytical method of investigation, which he taught to Leodamus of Thasos. He was also the first person in philosophy who spoke of antipodes, and elements, and dialectics, and actions (ποιήματα), and oblong numbers, and plane surfaces, and the providence of God. He was likewise the first of the philosophers who contradicted the assertion of Lysias, the son of Cephalus, setting it out word for word in his Phaedrus. And he was also the first person who examined the subject of grammatical knowledge scientifically. And as he argued against almost everyone who had lived before his time, it is often asked why he has never mentioned Democritus.

Neanthes of Cyzicus says that when he came to the Olympic games all the Greeks who were present turned to look at him; and that it was on that occasion that he held a conversation with Dion, who was on the point of attacking Dionysius. Moreover, in the first book of the Commentaries of Phavorinus, it is related that Mithridates, the Persian, erected a statue of Plato in the Academy, and put on it this inscription, “Mithridates, the son of Rhodobates, a Persian, consecrated an image of Plato to the Muses, which was made by Silanion.”

And Heraclides says that even while a young man, he was so modest and well regulated, that he was never once seen to laugh excessively.

But though he was of such a grave character himself, he was nevertheless ridiculed by the comic poets. Accordingly, Theopompus, in his Pleasure-Seeker, says:

For one thing is no longer only one,
But two things now are scarcely one; as says
The solemn Plato.

And Anaxandrides in his Theseus, says:

When he ate olives like our worthy Plato.

And Timon speaks of him in this way, punning on his name:

As Plato placed strange platitudes on paper.32

Alexis says in his Meropis:

You’ve come in time: since I’ve been doubting long,
And walking up and down some time, like Plato;
And yet have hit upon no crafty plan,
But only tir’d my legs.

And in his Ancylion, he says:

You speak of what you do not understand,
Running about like Plato: hoping thus,
To learn the nature of saltpetre and onions.

Amphis says in his Amphicrates:

A

But what the good is, which you hope to get
By means of her, my master, I no more
Can form a notion of, than of the good
Of Plato.

B

Listen now.

And in his Dexidemides he speaks thus:

O Plato! how your learning is confined
To gloomy looks, and wrinkling up your brows,
Like any cockle.

Cratinas in his Pseudypobolimaeus, says:

You clearly are a man, endued with sense,
And so, as Plato says, I do not know;
But I suspect.

Alexis, in his Olympiodorus, speaks thus:

My mortal body became dry and withered:
But my immortal part rose to the sky.
Is not this Plato’s doctrine?

And in his Parasite he says:

Or to converse alone, like Plato.

Anaxilas also laughs at him in his Botrylion, and Circe, and his Rich Women.

And Aristippus, in the fourth book of his treatise upon Ancient Luxury, says that he was much attached to a youth of the name of Aster, who used to study astronomy with him; and also to Dion, whom we have already mentioned. And some say that he was also attached to Phaedrus, and that the following epigrams which he wrote upon them are evidences of the love he felt for them:

My Aster, you’re gazing on the stars (ἀστέρες),
Would that I were the heavens, that so I might
Gaze in return with many eyes on thee.

Another of his epigrams is:

Aster, you while among the living shone,
The morning star. But now that you are dead,
You beam like Hesperus in the shades below.

And he wrote thus on Dion:

Once, at their birth, the fates did destine tears
To be the lot of all the Trojan women.
And Hecuba, their Queen⁠—to you, O Dion,
As the deserved reward for glorious deeds,
They gave extensive and illustrious hopes.
And now you lie beneath your native soil;
Honored by all your countrymen, O Dion,
And loved by me with ardent, lasting love.

And they say that this epigram is inscribed upon his tomb at Syracuse. They say also that he was in love with Alexis, and with Phaedrus, as I have already mentioned, and that he wrote an epigram on them both, which runs thus:

Now when Alexis is no longer aught,
Say only how beloved, how fair he was,
And everyone does turn his eyes at once.
Why, my mind, do you show the dogs a bone?
You’re but preparing trouble for yourself:
Have we not also lost the lovely Phaedrus!

There is also a tradition that he had a mistress named Archianassa, on whom he wrote the following lines:

I have a mistress fair from Colophon,
Archianassa, on whose very wrinkles
Sits genial love: hard must have been the fate,
Of him who met her earliest blaze of beauty,
Surely he must have been completely scorched.

He also wrote this epigram on Agathon:

While kissing Agathon, my soul did rise,
And hover’d o’er my lips; wishing perchance,
O’er anxious that it was, to migrate to him.

Another of his epigrams is:

I throw this apple to you. And if you
Love me who love you so, receive it gladly,
And let me taste your lovely virgin charms.
Or if that may not be, still take the fruit,
And in your bosom cherish it, and learn
How fleeting is all gracefulness and beauty.

And another:

I am an apple, and am thrown to you,
By one who loves you: but consent, Xanthippe;
For you and I shall both with time decay.

They also attribute to him the following epigram on the Eretrians who had been surprised in an ambuscade:

We were Eretrians, of Euboean race?
And now we lie near Susa, here entomb’d,
Far from my native land.

And this one also:

Thus Venus to the muses spoke:
Damsels submit to Venus’ yoke,
Or dread my Cupid’s arms.
Those threats, the Virgins nine replied,
May weigh with Mars, but