Clarissa Harlowe, Samuel Richardson [black authors fiction .txt] 📗

me⁠—honest souls! They showed they had each of them a handkerchief as well as I. So, has thou not observed (to give a familiar illustration), every man in a company of a dozen, or more, obligingly pull out his watch, when someone has asked what’s o’clock?⁠—As each man of a like number, if one talks of his beard, will fall to stroking his chin with his four fingers and thumb.

One word only, Madam, repeated I, (as soon as my voice had recovered its tone), I have represented to Captain Tomlinson in the most favourable light the cause of our present misunderstanding. You know what your uncle insists upon, and with which you have acquiesced.⁠—The letter in my hand, (and again I offered it to her), will acquaint you with what you have to apprehend from your brother’s active malice.

She was going to speak in a high accent, putting the letter from her, with an open palm⁠—Nay, hear me out, Madam⁠—The Captain, you know, has reported our marriage to two different persons. It is come to your brother’s ears. My own relations have also heard of it.⁠—Letters were brought me from town this morning, from Lady Betty Lawrance, and Miss Montague. Here they are. (I pulled them out of my pocket, and offered them to her, with that of the Captain; but she held back her still open palm, that she might not receive them). Reflect, Madam, I beseech you, reflect upon the fatal consequences with which this, your high resentment, may be attended.

Ever since I knew you, said she, I have been in a wilderness of doubt and error. I bless God that I am out of your hands. I will transact for myself what relates to myself. I dismiss all your solicitude for me.⁠—Am I not my own mistress?⁠—Have you any title?⁠—

The women stared⁠—(the devil stare ye, thought I!⁠—Can ye do nothing but stare?)⁠—It was high time to stop her here.

I raised my voice to drown hers.⁠—You used, my dearest creature, to have a tender and apprehensive heart.⁠—You never had so much reason for such a one as now.

Let me judge for myself, upon what I shall see, not upon what I shall hear.⁠—Do you think I shall ever?⁠—

I dreaded her going on⁠—I must be heard, Madam, (raising my voice still higher)⁠—you must let me read one paragraph or two out of this letter to you, if you will not read it yourself⁠—

Begone from me, Man!⁠—Begone from me with thy letters! What pretence hast thou for tormenting me thus? What right?⁠—What title?⁠—

Dearest creature! what questions you ask!⁠—Questions that you can as well answer yourself⁠—

I can, I will, and thus I answer them⁠—

Still louder I raised my voice.⁠—She was overborne.⁠—Sweet soul! It would be hard, thought I, (and yet I was very angry with her), if such a spirit as thine cannot be brought to yield to such a one as mine!

I lowered my voice on her silence. All gentle, all intreative, my accent. My head bowed⁠—one hand held out⁠—the other on my honest heart.⁠—For heaven’s sake, my dearest creature, resolve to see Captain Tomlinson with temper. He would have come along with me, but I was willing to try to soften your mind first on this fatal misapprehension, and this for the same of your own wishes. For what is it otherwise to me, whether your friends are, or are not, reconciled to us?⁠—Do I want any favour from them?⁠—For your own mind’s sake, therefore, frustrate not Captain Tomlinson’s negotiation. That worthy gentleman will be here in the afternoon; Lady Betty will be in town, with my cousin Montague, in a day or two.⁠—They will be your visitors. I beseech you do not carry this misunderstanding so far, as that Lord M. and Lady Betty, and Lady Sarah, may know it. (How considerable this made me look to the women!) Lady Betty will not let you rest till you consent to accompany her to her own seat⁠—and to that lady may you safely entrust your cause.

Again, upon my pausing a moment, she was going to break out. I liked not the turn of her countenance, nor the tone of her voice⁠—“And thinkest thou, base wretch,” were the words she did utter: I again raised my voice, and drowned hers.⁠—Base wretch, Madam?⁠—You know that I have not deserved the violent names you have called me. Words so opprobrious from a mind so gentle!⁠—But this treatment is from you, Madam?⁠—From you, whom I love more than my own soul!⁠—By that soul, I swear that I do.⁠—(The women looked upon each other⁠—they seemed pleased with my ardour.⁠—Women, whether wives, maids, or widows, love ardours: even Miss Howe, thou knowest, speaks up for ardours,199)⁠—Nevertheless, I must say, that you have carried matters too far for the occasion. I see you hate me⁠—

She was just going to speak⁠—If we are to separate forever, in a strong and solemn voice, proceeded I, this island shall not long be troubled with me. Meantime, only be pleased to give these letters a perusal, and consider what is to be said to your uncle’s friend, and what he is to say to your uncle.⁠—Anything will I come into, (renounce me, if you will), that shall make for your peace, and for the reconciliation your heart was so lately set upon. But I humbly conceive, that it is necessary that you should come into better temper with me, were it but to give a favourable appearance to what has passed, and weight to any future application to your friends, in whatever way you shall think proper to make it.

I then put the letters into her lap, and retired into the next apartment with a low bow, and a very solemn air.

I was soon followed by the two women. Mrs. Moore withdrew to give the fair perverse time to read them: Miss Rawlins for the same reason, and because she was sent for home.

The widow besought her speedy return. I joined in the same request; and she