Caught in Us (Caught Series Book 4), Kacey Shea [top 50 books to read .TXT] 📗

truck and help a stumbling Cam and Jill get into their house, I pull out my phone and send the message I’ve been avoiding all night.

Me: Hey, are you up? I think we should talk.

It’s late. I doubt she’s up.

Julia: I’m awake. Do you want to come over?

Fuck. This is going to be hard. I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t go into my brother’s wedding without laying out the complete truth. She deserves that. It’s the least I can do.

Me: On my way now.

I rehearse what I’m going to say on the short drive to her apartment. But that all goes out the window when I show up on her doorstep.

She opens the door before I knock. A thick cotton robe wraps her body and she hugs it close. Her eyes are bloodshot as if she’s been crying, and the wariness in her gaze makes me feel like shit. “Hey.”

“Hey.” I shove my hands into my slacks, noting how she doesn’t invite me in. I open my mouth to speak but hesitate, trying to find the words. There’s no easy way to say this.

“We’re breaking up.” A few tears drop from her lashes and she sniffles, her jaw clenching. “Aren’t we?” Her gaze doesn’t waver, even if her voice does. There’s strength in the depths of her eyes and I admire her directness. But fuck, I can’t stand to cause her pain.

“I think it’s best.” I resist the urge to comfort her.

“You know, I really loved you. I thought we could be something.” She sniffles again.

God, this hurts. “I’m sorry. I care about you. I always have, but . . .” How do I begin to explain the connection Alicia and I share?

“It’s her, isn’t it? Alicia?”

I nod. “Yeah.” I want to bring up Matthew. Explain this isn’t only about an old flame. But that’s not really the truth. It wouldn’t matter if Matthew was mine or not. It’s Alicia my heart has always wanted. I tried to move on. To make a life filled with joy without her. I thought I’d done that with Julia, but I was only going through the motions. We never burned as bright. Even now, breaking up, there’s no hatefulness, no fighting, no resistance. “I’m sorry, Julia.”

“I’ve always known you were holding back a piece of yourself.” She swipes away a tear, and fiddles with the tie of her robe. “I thought it was unintentional, because of your past. Your incessant passion to help those who’ve been where you were. But now I know. It was her. You couldn’t love me with everything because she always had a part of you I never could.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” I scrub a hand over my face. “You must hate me.”

Her smile is sad. “I wish I did. That’d make this easier. But I deserve more than second best. You’re a good man, Chase. I hope like hell she knows how lucky she is.”

There’s nothing else to say. Telling her I love her would only hurt. We both know it’s not the same love I hold for Alicia.

“There’s some stuff at your place I’d like back.” She straightens her spine and reaches for the door. “I’ll be by next week.”

Shit. I probably have things here too. “Do you want them now? If you give me a list, I’ll go pack everything up.” I think about the plans we’ve made to move in together. I hate that I’m disappointing her. “I’m sorry, Julia. I really am.”

“No. Stop.” She shakes her head. “Stop trying to make this better. I just want to move on. We both need to.”

“Thank you.” For loving me all these years when I clearly didn’t deserve it. For the steady companionship and abounding acceptance.

“Bye, Chase.” She smiles sadly, stepping back to close the door on me and our relationship. The click of the lock echoes through the night with resounding closure. It’s over. I’m a single man.

My chest expands with possibilities, but it’s bittersweet. This might be the right path, but I wish I didn’t have to hurt such a good person in order to follow my heart. Besides, there are no guarantees. I want Alicia back. I don’t want to waste another day apart. Tomorrow I’ll lay my heart out but there’s a real chance she’ll reject me. If she does, I’ll have to learn to live with it, whether I like it or not.

28

Alicia

The house is abuzz with energy when I wake the next morning. Simon takes Matthew to one of the nearby parks with my brother, Eddie, and promises to bring him back sometime after the reception begins. We both agree a toddler running around the grounds will only add to the pre-wedding chaos, and Matthew will be bored out of his mind for the ceremony. Besides, I like the idea of my son building a closer connection with his uncle.

Caterers have already invaded the kitchen and a giant tent’s being installed on the lawn. Someone is setting up chairs for the ceremony, and a DJ who looks like Bob Ross is hooking up the sound system.

I shower and get ready, taking extra effort to style my hair and apply my makeup. The wedding isn’t until two o’clock, but there’s something I want to do before the guests arrive. I should stop in and see my dad, but the morning gets away from me. I’m in a good headspace, and I just don’t have the mental strength to visit him before the wedding. I’ll make time tomorrow or even tonight after the wedding.

After I slide on my dress, a simple A-line gown in deep plum, I give myself a long look in the mirror before checking the time. Shit. I better hurry.

The ceremony doesn’t start for another hour but there’s a certain someone I’m trying to avoid. Okay, I realize that’s impossible, given his brother is the groom. But at least I can delay the inevitable.

After last night, I dread seeing Chase with Julia. I didn’t