Main Street, Sinclair Lewis [red white and royal blue hardcover txt] 📗

Thanatopsis at her third meeting (which covered Scandinavian, Russian, and Polish Literature, with remarks by Mrs. Leonard Warren on the sinful paganism of the Russian so-called church). Even before the entrance of the coffee and hot rolls Carol seized on Mrs. Champ Perry, the kind and ample-bosomed pioneer woman who gave historic dignity to the modern matrons of the Thanatopsis. She poured out her plans. Mrs. Perry nodded and stroked Carol’s hand, but at the end she sighed:

“I wish I could agree with you, dearie. I’m sure you’re one of the Lord’s anointed (even if we don’t see you at the Baptist Church as often as we’d like to)! But I’m afraid you’re too tenderhearted. When Champ and I came here we teamed-it with an oxcart from Sauk Centre to Gopher Prairie, and there was nothing here then but a stockade and a few soldiers and some log cabins. When we wanted salt pork and gunpowder, we sent out a man on horseback, and probably he was shot dead by the Injuns before he got back. We ladies⁠—of course we were all farmers at first⁠—we didn’t expect any restroom in those days. My, we’d have thought the one they have now was simply elegant! My house was roofed with hay and it leaked something terrible when it rained⁠—only dry place was under a shelf.

“And when the town grew up we thought the new city hall was real fine. And I don’t see any need for dance-halls. Dancing isn’t what it was, anyway. We used to dance modest, and we had just as much fun as all these young folks do now with their terrible Turkey Trots and hugging and all. But if they must neglect the Lord’s injunction that young girls ought to be modest, then I guess they manage pretty well at the K.P. Hall and the Oddfellows’, even if some of tie lodges don’t always welcome a lot of these foreigners and hired help to all their dances. And I certainly don’t see any need of a farm-bureau or this domestic science demonstration you talk about. In my day the boys learned to farm by honest sweating, and every gal could cook, or her ma learned her how across her knee! Besides, ain’t there a county agent at Wakamin? He comes here once a fortnight, maybe. That’s enough monkeying with this scientific farming⁠—Champ says there’s nothing to it anyway.

“And as for a lecture hall⁠—haven’t we got the churches? Good deal better to listen to a good old-fashioned sermon than a lot of geography and books and things that nobody needs to know⁠—more ’n enough heathen learning right here in the Thanatopsis. And as for trying to make a whole town in this Colonial architecture you talk about⁠—I do love nice things; to this day I run ribbons into my petticoats, even if Champ Perry does laugh at me, the old villain! But just the same I don’t believe any of us old-timers would like to see the town that we worked so hard to build being tore down to make a place that wouldn’t look like nothing but some Dutch storybook and not a bit like the place we loved. And don’t you think it’s sweet now? All the trees and lawns? And such comfy houses, and hot-water heat and electric lights and telephones and cement walks and everything? Why, I thought everybody from the Twin Cities always said it was such a beautiful town!”

Carol forswore herself; declared that Gopher Prairie had the color of Algiers and the gaiety of Mardi Gras.

Yet the next afternoon she was pouncing on Mrs. Lyman Cass, the hook-nosed consort of the owner of the flour-mill.

Mrs. Cass’s parlor belonged to the crammed-Victorian school, as Mrs. Luke Dawson’s belonged to the bare-Victorian. It was furnished on two principles: First, everything must resemble something else. A rocker had a back like a lyre, a near-leather seat imitating tufted cloth, and arms like Scotch Presbyterian lions; with knobs, scrolls, shields, and spear-points on unexpected portions of the chair. The second principle of the crammed-Victorian school was that every inch of the interior must be filled with useless objects.

The walls of Mrs. Cass’s parlor were plastered with “hand-painted” pictures, “buckeye” pictures, of birch-trees, newsboys, puppies, and church-steeples on Christmas Eve; with a plaque depicting the Exposition Building in Minneapolis, burnt-wood portraits of Indian chiefs of no tribe in particular, a pansy-decked poetic motto, a Yard of Roses, and the banners of the educational institutions attended by the Casses’ two sons⁠—Chicopee Falls Business College and McGillicuddy University. One small square table contained a card-receiver of painted china with a rim of wrought and gilded lead, a Family Bible, Grant’s Memoirs, the latest novel by Mrs. Gene Stratton Porter, a wooden model of a Swiss chalet which was also a bank for dimes, a polished abalone shell holding one black-headed pin and one empty spool, a velvet pincushion in a gilded metal slipper with “Souvenir of Troy, NY” stamped on the toe, and an unexplained red glass dish which had warts.

Mrs. Cass’s first remark was, “I must show you all my pretty things and art objects.”

She piped, after Carol’s appeal:

“I see. You think the New England villages and Colonial houses are so much more cunning than these Middlewestern towns. I’m glad you feel that way. You’ll be interested to know I was born in Vermont.”

“And don’t you think we ought to try to make Gopher Prai⁠—”

“My gracious no! We can’t afford it. Taxes are much too high as it is. We ought to retrench, and not let the city council spend another cent. Uh⁠—Don’t you think that was a grand paper Mrs. Westlake read about Tolstoy? I was so glad she pointed out how all his silly socialistic ideas failed.”

What Mrs. Cass said was what Kennicott said, that evening. Not in twenty years would the council propose or Gopher Prairie vote the funds for a new city hall.

V

Carol had avoided exposing her plans to Vida Sherwin. She was shy of the big-sister manner;