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I loved you, and yet you kept this huge secret part of yourself from me. You just assumed I wouldn’t accept your past. Instead, you deceived me, lied to my face, told me I was a father … you never thought about anything other than yourself. How could you spin lie after lie about your whole life, our life? Is there anything that’s true?’

Her gaze hung on her hands, stiffly clenched.

‘The way I feel about you, that’s true, Lane. I love you more than anything. I want a future with you – you, me, and our baby. That’s all true. Please forgive me. Please, I’m begging you. I can’t lose you. It’ll kill me.’ She dropped to her knees, kneeling before me, gripping my hands like her life depended on it. In a way, it did. ‘I knew if I told you the truth you’d never think I was good enough. All I want is to be good enough for you. Surviving without a mother broke me, but you helped build me back up more resilient than before. I want to be strong enough to forge a better future for us. For our children.’

‘You mean your children. Not mine.’

‘Please, Lane. I thought you, of all people, would be understanding.’

‘Oh, I understand plenty. I understand that you lie easier than you tell the truth. I understand that you’re selfish and will do anything to get what you want.’

‘Wow. So that’s what you think of me.’ She rose to her feet, glaring down at me. The passion sharpened her tongue into a knife. ‘Apparently you’re no different from any other man. I should have figured as much.’

‘Don’t blame me for what you’ve done to us!’ Slamming my fist on the coffee table, I stood to meet her, eye-to-eye. ‘You thought I was the kind of man who judges someone based on their past. Well, I have a past too, Candace, and I would have never held your mistakes against you. So, then, I guess neither of us knows each other. We’re two strangers, not two united souls. You’ve pushed me away with your secrets and broken me with your lies. There is no us. It’s just you. And me.’

‘No! You don’t get to split us with a word. It doesn’t work that way. You promised your future to me. You can’t just take it back!’ The air vibrated with her rage.

‘I married Candace Moriarty, not you.’

‘You can’t leave, Lane.’

‘Watch me!’

I stormed across the room, unable to cork the tears that I didn’t want her to see. She didn’t deserve my anguish over her. Candace ran after me, reaching for me, but I shoved her back. Too hard. She fell to the floor, crying out as her rear slammed against the wood. I stopped, wanting to scoop her up and offer a million apologies, but I couldn’t. My rage held me hostage.

I regretted every moment as I watched my wife splayed out on the floor, holding her belly, sobbing my name. I hated myself as I grabbed my car keys and headed for the front door. Everything in me screamed, but the voices were too loud. I needed to leave. As I reached for the doorknob, a movement drew my gaze upward, where I found Harper standing at the top of the stairwell, staring at me with eyes full of pity.

You can love her more than you love yourself, Harper had said, but it’s going to cost everything.

She was right. I could forgive a lot. My sister knew just how much. But the lies and deceit and entrapment … It was too much to be able to forgive. As I slammed the door shut behind me, it was the beginning of the end, when the girl breaks the boy and the boy seeks revenge.

Chapter 21

Candace

Love is brutal. Love is bliss. Love is hard. Love is forgiveness.

I hope you can forgive me for loving you so hard.

Seek and destroy. That seemed to be my mantra these days. Everything I sought – love, family, hope – ended up in ashes. I hadn’t seen Lane since he left yesterday. I hated myself for scaring away the only man who ever truly loved me.

Sitting on the front porch in the dark, the chirp of crickets reminded me how alone I was. I glanced down at the black screen of my phone. Every hour of silence as Lane ignored my calls and texts terrified me – I felt him slipping from my grasp. Harper and his mother hadn’t heard from him either. Unless they were lying to me, which was more likely. I wondered where he would have gone, and if he was ever coming back.

It was hard work learning to love someone the way they needed to be loved. Lane needed honesty. I needed forgiveness. Separately, they were two simple things. Together, they were impossible. We had too much clutter between us, a skyscraper of barriers. His undying servitude to his sister, the demons chasing me from my past, the secrets we both tucked in our back pockets. I knew Lane had secrets, just like I did. I read it in the earnest way he touched me and his quick, nervous glances. Lane was a dog-eared book; I had read and scribbled notes on every page of him. I knew him better than he thought. Maybe even better than Harper did. I also knew Harper was the reason why everything was falling apart in my life.

I understood why she clung to Lane. She needed him, just like I did. No one loved selflessly. We all had expectations and demands from a relationship, whether it be from a lover, friends, or family. None of us were so pure-hearted that we gave of ourselves endlessly. The heart could only beat so much for someone else before it wanted something in return. Harper needed affirmation; I needed adoration. Lane only had so much to give.

A car passed by, its headlights skipping over me. I sat up, hoping and

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