Cole: The Wounded Sons, Leah Sharelle [the reading list .TXT] 📗

Looking at my captain, I could see how pissed off he was at the panel ambush. Colonels, majors, brigadiers and fucking major generals! What the fuck!

“Where the hell is Major Arthur? Shouldn’t he have been in there with Cole?” Kodah shouted angrily.

“You would think, seeing as though it was his orders I was following,” I scoffed, unlacing my boots and toeing them off.

“With a little help from you whispering in his ear, hey Ghost,” Kodah muttered darkly. Not that I blamed him for his mood, he lost a chance at moving forward just as much as the rest of us. Making Lt ranking meant a lot to me, but it wasn’t the end of my career if I didn’t. Bastian held that rank above me, and it was unusual for two ranking LTs in one unit. If I was to advance, it was possible the brigadier would assign Bastian or me to another team. That idea did not appeal; Team FIVE belonged together, where we started and would finish if I had anything to say about it.

Kodah obviously still had a beef with me over Deke or something else.

“Yeah, I told him I could go in alone. I made a call that was for the best thing for the team, Kodah. Giving me shit about it now won’t do any good, and it certainly won’t change the outcome. Deke’s injuries are what killed him, not me,” I insisted, believing in my gut that I was right in going in without them. Thankfully so did my captain.

“Kodah, for fuck’s sake, will you listen to common sense and not your fucking anger,” Gabe bellowed, jumping off the chair he’d slumped into when we got back to the barracks.

“Whether we agree or not, we had to return to the FOB to re-fit. That much time with eyes off Deke would have resulted in his body never being found instead of his family having it back to bury. Ghost made a judgement call I would never want to make. Put yourself in his shoes for just a second instead of up your arse.”

Steeping forward, Grill laid a hand on my shoulder, then nodded at Kodah.

“Gabe is right mate, Deke went rogue; he acted like a rookie grunt instead of the commando he trained to be.”

“Something was going on with him,” Rafe muttered, scrubbing a hand down his face, “something that got him killed and made Ghost make a combat sensitive call.”

“He fucked up Kodah, not Ghost.”

Kodah paced around the room like a caged lion looking for an arm to bite off, his shoulders worked, his face thunderous.

My spidey senses started to tingle, a feeling of dread washing over me.

Kodah knows. He knows what was wrong with Deke.

“You gonna share, Ziggerman? Or are you going to continue sitting up on that high horse of yours and blame me for everything,” I taunted my fellow commando and mate.

“Cole.”

“Ghost, easy.”

Gabe and Rafe said at the same time, their tones warning me to back down. Kodah was visibly struggling, that much was certain, but I was done with him laying blame at my feet and mine only. The surprise panel today, and the pressure at home with Dad, and the worry that this was not a good time to leave Oaklee alone at the Club, knowing Dad was suspicious. The last thing I needed now was Ziggerman giving me more grief about something I could not undo.

“Deke was gay,” Kodah blurted out, shocking the entire room with his surprising outburst. All of us silent and stunned.

“I found out when I accidentally walked in on him and another soldier.” Kodah suddenly stopped pacing, dropping to the closest bunk, which ironically was the same one Deke used when we came here.

“He looked fucking gutted when I walked in and saw him, there was no hiding what he was doing if you get my drift. He had no recourse but to watch me looking at the both of them.”

“What … what, did you do?” Gabe stammered, his expression unreadable.

Shrugging, Kodah tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace. “I said to him, ‘hope you are using a dinger, mate,’ and walked out.” Choking out a laugh, his head dropped to his chest.

“Good call,” Bastian piped in, “safe sex is important.”

“Agreed, in this day and age of transmitted diseases and all,” Rafe agreed, and I couldn’t help the bellow of laughter that burst from my lips.

“He found me later that day, tried to make light of it, but I called him on it, and he admitted he and his friend were in a relationship.”

“Who?” I asked, not sure why I needed to know that, but I did.

“A SEAL, I didn’t ask for his name. I didn’t think it was important. But I think Deke did, and I think he was expecting more questions from me about it, ya know? And when I didn’t ask, I think he got the impression I was disgusted or some shit. That all of you would be too.”

“That is fucking bullshit, and you know it, mate!” Gabe gritted out, his fists clenching.

“We,” Gabe said, looking at me then at Bastian, “have family members that are gay. Ford and Lucky are married; for fuck’s sake, we don’t judge anyone’s choices.”

“Never have and never will,” Bastian growled, looking affronted by the very suggestion we would have a problem with Deke’s sexuality.

“How long have you known?” I asked Kodah, suspicions raising my hackles.

Kodah had too good a decency to look contrite. “A few months, give or take. He begged me to keep it to myself until he could find the right way to tell you, or at least that’s what he said.”

“So, you knew and didn’t say anything, and in the meantime, you give me shit about Oaklee and me.” I didn’t ask, rather I accused, pissed that he turned judgement on me when all the while he was hiding his own great secrets—the ones