Jolt!, Phil Cooke [reading women txt] 📗

face the truth, she has found freedom in her ability to forgive.

Don’t wait for the other person to acknowledge guilt or admit wrongdoing. In fact, when you forgive some people, they’ll despise you even more. But by forgiving them, you’re letting the pain and hurt go and moving forward with your life. Some people have waited their entire lives for another person to admit he or she was wrong, but by doing so, they’ve placed their future in someone else’s hands.

» IF YOU DON’T TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE, YOU’LL ALWAYS BE AT THE MERCY OF SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL.

Forgiveness can be a powerful tool in healing a relationship.

Many people can never fully face the truth without someone opening the door of forgiveness. Perhaps they don’t feel worthy, or perhaps they understand that what they did was wrong but don’t have the courage to step forward to ask to be forgiven. Your acting first opens that door and allows them to reach out and find mercy and understanding.

Forgiveness is easier when you realize that we all need to be forgiven.

The fact is, all of us have made mistakes, hurt people, and done stupid things in our lives, and few of us can claim the moral high ground in relationships. When you have difficulty forgiving someone, just look back at things you’ve done that need forgiveness, and suddenly the offense against you starts to look a little more forgivable.

More than with any other religious tradition, the core of Christianity is about forgiveness. Because God has forgiven us, we are called to forgive other people. Whatever faith tradition you might be from—or no tradition at all—we can learn something from this powerful Christian principle. Because God desired a relationship with us so strongly, he was willing to allow Jesus to die on a cross as the sacrifice that would bridge the gap and heal the rift. A holy God died in order that we might be forgiven. It’s the most powerful story in history, and the lesson has transformed millions of lives.

We have been forgiven, and therefore, we have the ability to forgive.

Learn to forgive yourself.

Are you carrying the baggage of blunders from your past? Have you hurt someone, acted without thinking, or damaged a relationship? Perhaps you can’t even contact that person anymore and carry the burden of that terrible mistake. I talked with a man who had cheated a friend in business early in his career, and his friend had died in the intervening years. The man desperately wanted to be forgiven for his mistake, but with his old friend having died, he had nowhere to turn. He had to learn to forgive himself and move on with his life.

Don’t let the pain of your past eat at you like a cancer. No matter what you’ve done or whom you’ve hurt, true healing and wholeness can never begin without the first step toward forgiveness.

The power of forgiveness can transform your life and eliminate the most painful, difficult, and challenging distractions you will ever face.

ELIMINATE DISTRACTIONS FROM YOUR PRESENT THROUGH COMMITMENT

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes . . . but no plans.

—PETER DRUCKER, BUSINESS STRATEGIST AND WRITER

Another key to eliminating distractions is commitment. Commitment keeps you focused on a worthy goal, and that process alone is a tremendous help in eliminating distractions. I’ve discovered that the greatest opening for a distraction is not being committed to something better.

When things at the office slow down, people invariably get into trouble. One man who destroyed his marriage by having an affair with his secretary told me, “I had worked with that secretary for years, and the thought of an affair never crossed my mind—until business slowed down. When I lost my focus on the company, I began to notice her in a different way. Suddenly I became involved in a romantic distraction that eventually shattered my marriage.”

Eyes wander when someone loses sight of a clearly defined goal.

Human resources executives tell me that the times when employees are mostly likely to be distracted by the Internet are during times when intensity is low—often between major projects, when things have slowed down at the office. During those times, companies lose billions in productivity from distracted and uncommitted employees.

I’ve seen organizations fall apart as employees lost their commitment to a vision and started getting distracted. It’s amazing that in cases of office affairs, embezzling, cheating, or other problems, how often they start from a simple lack of commitment. Losing sight of a common vision opens the deadly door to distraction.

What are you committed to? A successful career? A strong family? A growing company? A better job? Raising great children? Stronger leadership? A specific project or task? Whatever it is, your commitment is a key to guarding against distraction.

How can you stay committed? First, make a public announcement. Put yourself on the spot. Write a letter to someone you respect, announce the project to your employees, or share your vision with a friend or coworker. The threat of embarrassment is a powerful tool to help keep you committed. Burn the trail behind you so you can’t go back.

Spanish explorer Cortez, after arriving in the New World, took his crew off their great sailing ships and then set the ships on fire as the crew watched in horror. That single act sealed their commitment to explore the new territory and ensured they could never give in or go back. Having no alternative is a marvelous way of helping eliminate distractions.

I love painting myself into a corner. I’ve learned that there is something exhilarating about the adrenaline that flows as a deadline nears. Although I don’t necessarily recommend this to others, I often wait until the last minute when there is no time and no alternative to finishing a project.

Nothing increases commitment like the threat of failure or the risk of embarrassment.

Attention is one of the most valuable modern resources. If we waste it on frivolous communication, we will have