Jolt!, Phil Cooke [reading women txt] 📗

Then make a list of situations you can change: your job, schedule, location, education, skills, friends or associates, self-confidence, and so on.

What can and cannot change is different for every person, but knowing the difference between the items on each list is critical.

Some situations are real. They can’t be changed, and no matter how much we dream, hope, and wish, we can’t change those circumstances. So stop wasting your time. Focus on the situations you can change, and start from there.

Far too many people fail—and continue to fail—because they’re trying to change a situation that simply can’t be altered. Stop banging your head against a wall and start practicing realistic thinking. See immovable obstacles for what they are and concentrate your energy, time, and effort on another area. Ignore the things you can’t change and start focusing on the situations you can, and the opportunities will begin to reveal themselves.

You can’t wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club.

—JACK LONDON, NOVELIST

EMOTIONS

The second area where most people fail is emotions. Human beings are highly emotional creatures. We have extremely developed, finely tuned, complex emotions, and our ability to be excited, laugh, cry, feel depressed, and more, sometimes creates a turmoil of conflicted feelings inside us.

While emotions are a gauge for how we feel, we cannot effectively base decisions on emotions. Ask an Olympic athlete, a concert musician, a research scientist, a professional race car driver—anyone who has to perform at the top of his game—and you’ll find that much of his time is spent overriding his emotions.

“I don’t feel like working today.”

“I’m a little depressed.”

“I’m just not in the mood.”

“I just don’t feel up to it.”

Let those emotions take charge of your life and you’ll never accomplish anything at all.

» EMOTIONS DO PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN OUR LIVES. THE KEY IS NOT LETTING THEM CONTROL US.

On the other hand, listening to your emotions in order to get at the core of what’s bothering you can help you turn them into very revealing indicators of your condition. For instance, let’s look at a couple of the statements above once again.

I don’t feel like working today. Think about it for a moment. Why don’t you feel like working? Did you stay up too late last night? Perhaps you need to change your schedule. Are you eating well? Perhaps you need to adjust your diet or food intake. Not motivated? Listen to a motivational program, read a good book, exercise, or spend some time with an encouraging friend.

I’m a little depressed. Are you getting enough relaxation? Have you taken a vacation lately? Coaches and personal trainers tell me that our moods generally swing up after exercise, so perhaps you’re not getting enough exercise . Get back into an exercise program, and get into shape. Are you intimidated about the big meeting? Perhaps you need to be better prepared and do a little more homework.

You simply cannot give your life over to your emotions. They will delay you, stop you, or create detours on your journey of change.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

—ROMANS 7:15 NIV

One area worth mentioning is just how toxic certain emotions can be, particularly over the long haul. In his fascinating book Deadly Emotions, medical doctor and nutrition expert Don Colbert details how what you feel emotionally becomes how you feel physically. Research is showing stronger and stronger connections between our minds and bodies and how our emotions can create serious physical problems and difficulties. Dr. Colbert states, “If a person keeps stuffing toxic emotions year after year, the day will come when those buried emotions come pouring out” (31).

Emotions like anger, bitterness, hostility, resentment, self-hatred, anxiety, and more can lead to many health problems, such as hypertension, coronary artery disease, autoimmune disorders, arthritis, panic attacks, heart palpitations, and tension and migraine headaches. Dr. Colbert believes that about 20 percent of the general population have levels of hostility that are high enough to be dangerous to their health—that’s one out of five people!

We’ve all seen executives who are almost always angry, upset, and stressed-out. I directed a music video a few years ago for a major record label in Los Angeles, and the producer from the studio’s music video division was a man in his forties who never stopped screaming. When I met him, I was stunned. If he wasn’t screaming at me, he was screaming at someone on his cell phone. I discovered it was impossible for him to do two things: talk in a normal voice and construct a sentence without a four-letter word. Every moment of every day, he was angry, upset, or stressed-out.

When we shot the video on the East Coast, he was determined to be there to make sure I didn’t mess things up. Sure enough, he showed up with an attitude. Most of the day, he sat in his chair behind me on the set, screaming at other people on his cell phone. Forget the fact that no one I met during the entire project respected him or enjoyed working with him. But just as important, I imagine that man doesn’t have long to go before all that intensity and stress cause something physical to break down.

Keep your emotions in check. Don’t become a robot and fight your feelings, because emotions are a big part of what makes us human. Ignoring our feelings creates just as much a problem in the long run, so we need to acknowledge them and understand their influence. But also understand where they come from, and don’t let them control your life.

MOTIVATION

Your motivation? Your motivation is your pay packet on Friday. Now get on with it.

—NOEL COWARD, PLAYWRIGHT

A key ingredient of motivation is sharing your journey with others. Many people fail for lack of motivation, and most motivation comes from outside sources. You need to be encouraged, applauded, and valued on