Little Squirrels Can Climb Tall Trees, Michael Murphy [best books to read for self development .txt] 📗

“Okay!” Kyle said as he released Mano’s balls and pulled away from the man’s groping hand. He rolled over to me and said, “Protect me. He scares me.” He tried batting his eyelashes.

“Babe, you don’t do the damsel in distress very well.”

“Oh, shut up and protect me!”

I switched places with Kyle and put myself between him and Mano. I smiled at Mano and said, “Consider me to be the Berlin Wall. Don’t get tangled up in my barbed wire.”

“Huh? What’s the Berlin Wall?”

“What’s the Berlin Wall? Didn’t you ever study history? Jesus! The American education system! Just don’t try crossing me—I’ll bite.”

“Uuuh, I like biters.” Mano smiled.

“Not where I’d bite,” I said.

“Jeesh! One tries to pull my nuts off, and the other one wants to inflict bodily harm with his teeth. I bow to the Twisted Sister.”

“Wait a minute. You know about the Twisted Sister band, but you don’t know about the Berlin Wall?”

“Of course I know about the Berlin Wall. I’ve even been there. I was just fucking with you. You’re too easy.”

“Ooooah, two points for the naked boy,” Kyle said.

“Only two? Really, I would think my dick alone would earn me something like twenty, maybe thirty points. And then my ass. I mean, really? Have you seen my ass?” he asked, rolling over onto his belly and stroking his ass. “This is one fine piece of man ass. Two points? My God! Two points? My ass alone is worth fifty points. I’ll have you know I’ve made grown men cry with just a glimpse of my ass.”

“It wasn’t a glimpse of your ass; it was because their credit card didn’t clear and they weren’t gonna be able to touch your ass. That’s what made them cry.”

“You calling me a whore, city boy?”

“Hey, if the condom fits—”

“But he means that in the nicest possible way,” Kyle added.

I just smiled an innocent smile and batted my eyelashes.

“I’ll have you know that I’m a public service. I spread the cheer all around free of charge. I’m the gift that keeps on giving.”

“Like an STD?” I asked.

“Among other things,” Mano said. “Now see what you’ve done. I’ve lost my erection.”

“Great. Stick it in your Speedos and let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

“It’s not even light outside yet. I’m usually just getting home at this hour, not going out at this hour.”

“Come on,” I shouted as I jumped out of bed and threw Mano’s Speedo at him. “Stick it in.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do ever since you woke up!”

“In the shorts!”

“Fine! I’m still gonna be wearing just a Speedo at five in the morning!”

“No you’re not. Here,” I said, tossing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt at the man. “These should fit you. We’re about the same size.”

“We are not!” Mano complained. “You’re short, and I’m taller and hung way better.”

“Mano, you’re just about the same height as I am. And honey, half the world is hung better than I am. I’ve learned to deal with it. Now get dressed.”

A couple of minutes later, all clothed and semirespectable, the three of us left the room and went off in search of breakfast.

Over the following few days, Kyle and I toured Oahu from one end to the other, hiked to amazing waterfalls, swam in the ocean, cruised men with Mano on the beach, had dinner with Mano and Jake several nights, and then moved on to Maui for a couple of days. Kyle fell in love with Maui and wanted to move immediately. Somehow I managed to get him onto the airplane to fly back to New York. Fortunately our flight home was uneventful, and Kyle actually got to read, eat, and take a nap.

When Kyle and I returned to work the following day, we were both delighted to have people remark on our beautiful tans and the relaxed looks on our faces. We had both had a wonderful time, and Kyle had gotten to make the journey of a lifetime, a trip that he had dreamt about for years but never really thought he’d get to make. He had been just about convinced for many years that he would somehow get trapped by his mother into marrying some woman in an arranged marriage, have to move back to Oklahoma, and live out his days never seeing anything of the world. He was delighted beyond words that those early images had not come to pass.

Chapter 23

THE wedding was held in the spring—a New York City springtime wedding with tons of guests, including Kyle’s mother and a couple of his sisters (and their obviously unhappy and uncomfortable husbands). It wasn’t clear if they were unhappy at being in New York City or because they were at a gay wedding. I was assuming it was the gay wedding part that gave them trouble.

We were both good and didn’t ask any of his sister’s husbands to dance with us at the reception, although it took every ounce of Kyle’s focus at one point to prevent that from happening. He had to agree, though, that it would have been so much fun to see how the men reacted to the invitation, especially since their wives were having a great time at the reception.

If I may say so—and I can because I was there and am writing this story—the grooms looked stunningly handsome in our matching black tuxedos, each with a single, perfect white rose on the lapel. At last we publicly proclaimed our love and our intention to live and love together for the rest of our lives, through thick and thin, through good and bad, through tears and laughter.

We danced, we ate, we laughed, we cried. We celebrated life with our community. All of our coworkers were there. Kyle’s lesbian friend and her partner were there. Even Mano was there, although that one had taken a bit of persuasion, a free plane ticket, and a promise that the temperature wouldn’t drop below sixty