Clotel, William Wells Brown [i like reading books .txt] 📗

“Aunty now brought out a black bottle and gave me a cup, and told me to help myself, which I assure you I did. I now felt ready to face the cold. As I was passing the barn I heard uncle thrashing oats, so I went to the door and spoke to him. ‘Come in, John,’ says he. ‘No,’ said I; ‘I am goin’ to post some letters,’ for I was afraid that he would smell my breath if I went too near to him. ‘Yes, yes, come in.’ So I went in, and says he, ‘It’s now eleven o’clock; that’s about the time you take your grog, I s’pose, when you are at home.’ ‘Yes,’ said I. ‘I am sorry for you, my lad; you can’t get anything up here; you can’t even get it at the chemist’s, except as medicine, and then you must let them mix it and you take it in their presence.’ ‘This is indeed hard,’ replied I; ‘Well, it can’t be helped,’ continued he: ‘and it ought not to be if it could. It’s best for society; people’s better off without drink. I recollect when your father and I, thirty years ago, used to go out on a spree and spend more than half a dollar in a night. Then here’s the rising generation; there’s nothing like settin’ a good example. Look how healthy your cousins are⁠—there’s Benjamin, he never tasted spirits in his life. Oh, John, I would you were a teetotaller.’ ‘I suppose,’ said I, ‘I’ll have to be one till I leave the state.’ ‘Now,’ said he, ‘John, I don’t want you to mention it, for your aunt would go into hysterics if she thought there was a drop of intoxicating liquor about the place, and I would not have the boys to know it for anything, but I keep a little brandy to rub my joints for the rheumatics, and being it’s you, I’ll give you a little dust.’ So the old man went to one corner of the barn, took out a brown jug and handed it to me, and I must say it was a little the best cognac that I had tasted for many a day. Says I, ‘Uncle, you are a good judge of brandy.’ ‘Yes,’ said he, ‘I learned when I was young.’ So off I started for the post office. In returnin’ I thought I’d jist go through the woods where the boys were chopping wood, and wait and go to the house with them when they went to dinner. I found them hard at work, but as merry as crickets. ‘Well, cousin John, are you done writing?’ ‘Yes,’ answered I. ‘Have you posted them?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Hope you didn’t go to any place inquiring for grog.’ ‘No, I knowed it was no good to do that.’ ‘I suppose a cocktail would taste good now.’ ‘Well, I guess it would,’ says I. The three boys then joined in a hearty laugh. ‘I suppose you have told ’em that we are a dry set up here?’ ‘Well, I ain’t told ’em anything else.’ ‘Now, cousin John,’ said Edward, ‘if you won’t say anything, we will give you a small taste. For mercy’s sake don’t let father or mother know it; they are such rabid teetotallers, that they would not sleep a wink tonight if they thought there was any spirits about the place.’ ‘I am mum,’ says I. And the boys took a jug out of a hollow stump, and gave me some first-rate peach brandy. And during the fortnight that I was in Vermont, with my teetotal relations, I was kept about as well corned as if I had been among my hot water friends in Tennessee.”

This narrative, given by the white hat man, was received with unbounded applause by all except the pale gent in spectacles, who showed, by the way in which he was running his fingers between his cravat and throat, that he did not intend to “give it up so.” The white hat gent was now the lion of the company.

“Oh, you did not get hold of the right kind of teetotallers,” said the minister. “I can give you a tale worth a dozen of yours,” continued he. “Look at society in the states where temperance views prevail, and you will there see real happiness. The people are taxed less, the poor houses are shut up for want of occupants, and extreme destitution is unknown. Everyone who drinks at all is liable to become an habitual drunkard. Yes, I say boldly, that no man living who uses intoxicating drinks is free from the danger of at least occasional, and if of occasional, ultimately of habitual excess. There seems to be no character, position, or circumstances that free men from the danger. I have known many young men of the finest promise, led by the drinking habit into vice, ruin, and early death. I have known many tradesmen whom it has made bankrupt. I have known Sunday scholars whom it has led to prison⁠—teachers, and even superintendents, whom it has dragged down to profligacy. I have known ministers of high academic honours, of splendid eloquence, nay, of vast usefulness, whom it has fascinated, and hurried over the precipice of public infamy with their eyes open, and gazing with horror on their fate. I have known men of the strongest and clearest intellect and of vigorous resolution, whom it has made weaker than children and fools⁠—gentlemen of refinement and taste whom it has debased into brutes⁠—poets of high genius whom it has bound in a bondage worse than the galleys, and ultimately cut short their days. I have known statesmen, lawyers, and judges whom it has killed⁠—kind husbands and fathers whom it has turned into monsters. I have known honest men whom it has made villains; elegant and Christian ladies whom it has converted into bloated sots.”

“But you talk too fast,” replied the white hat man. “You don’t give