Nearly Departed, Max Schlienger [the gingerbread man read aloud txt] 📗

the time being. By the time he exited the bathroom, Bobo had set the table with the two steaming mugs of coffee and a small assortment of muffins.

“Is that what you’re wearing, then?” Bobo asked, looking Dennis over.

“Most of it,” answered Dennis, looking down at himself. “There’s a tie and a jacket, but I’ll put those on later.”

“I half expected you to be out in your September suit.”

Dennis spread his arms. “Well, this will have to be good enough.” He sat down and reached for a dark muffin. “It’s either that or show up naked.”

Bobo laughed out loud, nearly spilling his coffee. “Blimey, wouldn’t that be something? I bet Evy would be on you before you could sit down!”

“Yeah,” Dennis chuckled. “I’ve never heard of a ghost being quite so flirtatious.”

“If that’s what you want to call it.” A long slurp punctuated Bobo’s words as he emptied half of his mug. “Heard of many ghosts, have you? Oh wait, sorry, I forgot... you are the expert.”

“Very funny. I meant in stories and such.” Dennis finished his muffin and reached for another. “Actually, a lot of the people I’ve talked with claim that their ghosts are raging philanderers or something.”

“The afterlife must be one brilliant party.”

“I’ll say.”

Bobo munched his way through a muffin of his own. “How’d you get going with this, anyway?”

Dennis snorted. “Sam helped me put an ad in the paper,” he said. He looked up at Bobo, who was clearly amused. “What? Not the exciting start that you expected?”

“I’m just surprised anyone reads the paper anymore.”

“It’s definitely not as popular as it used to be,” Dennis agreed, “but I guess the people who see ghosts are the same ones who keep their subscriptions going. Anyway, I was just following the doctor’s orders, since it was his idea.”

“What’s in it for you? I mean, most people don’t offer thousand-dollar checks, do they?”

Dennis shrugged. “Inspiration, I guess.”

“Mid-life crisis?”

“No,” replied Dennis with a smirk. “Inspiration for my next book. It was going to be about a paranormal investigator.”

“Was?” Bobo repeated. Dennis gave another shrug.

“I didn’t really find what I was looking for. Everything was just a different version of the same story.”

“What did you expect?” Bobo waved his fingers. “A real ghost?”

“Hey, I found that, didn’t I?” Dennis took a thoughtful sip from his mug. “I don’t know. I’ve never really believed in anything supernatural, but I guess I was hopeful that I’d find something interesting.

“It don’t get much better than possessed chairs though, eh?”

Dennis checked his watch. “Speaking of which, we should probably get going soon. Why did you let me sleep so late?”

“I thought you might need the rest after staring at the street all night,” Bobo said. “I’ll go and change.” He stood and walked through to the bedroom, leaving Dennis to finish devouring his second and then third muffin. When Bobo returned, Dennis stopped chewing and stared. His friend’s dark skin was offset by an impossibly white collared shirt, and the sleek black bowtie beneath his chin was an obvious match to the tailored pants he was wearing.

“Uh, Bobo,” Dennis said, swallowing, “you do realize that I’m the one going on a date, right?”

“Sure,” replied Bobo. “You’ll need a waiter, though, yeah?”

“Oh, god... You’re serious, aren’t you?”

Bobo flashed his familiar grin. “Absolutely. Remembering how she was treating me before, I thought I’d play the part.”

“If you insist,” said Dennis. “Although you’ll have to do a better job than you did last time.”

“Just so long as you remember to tip.”

The front door opened as Dennis and Bobo approached the house, and Elspeth greeted the pair with an an amused smile and a twinkle in her eyes.

“My, don’t you boys look dapper,” she said approvingly. She somehow managed to juggle a lit cigarette and a steaming cup between her hands and her lips.

Bobo nodded politely and smiled as he stepped inside. “Thank you, ma’am. Do you think Evy will be suitably impressed?”

“Here’s hoping,” Dennis quietly interjected. He glanced over his shoulder at where they had left the car. The drive over had been miraculously free of blue sedans, but Dennis was feeling more paranoid than ever about the prospect of being followed.

“I’ve moved her chair out of the bedroom,” Elspeth said, leading the way towards the spacious living room. “I daresay the furnishings in here are more in keeping with a fancy dinner date.”

The undigested remnants of Dennis’ breakfast tightened in his stomach. “I hope you didn’t spend too much time getting things ready,” he said. As palatable as Elspeth’s cooking had been the day before, he wasn’t sure that he could handle a four-course meal just yet.

“Oh, it’s just a few place settings and the like,” replied Elspeth, giving no mention to food. The group stopped in front of a well-decorated table, complete with an embroidered tablecloth and silver candle holders. Evy’s chair was set at one side, and Dennis’ concerns were immediately addressed by the sight of two empty plates, each stained with what looked like the remnants of a decadent meal.

“I was wondering about that,” said Bobo, gesturing to the dishes. “I mean, how is she supposed to eat?” He smiled at some internal image and pantomimed a mouthful of food falling to the floor.

“Quite,” Elspeth replied. “Although, if you boys are hungry, I could see to making something.”

Dennis’ stomach clenched again, and he was relieved to hear Bobo politely decline the offer for more food. “I think that we can just get started,” he said. Dennis nodded in agreement, and Elspeth emulated them both with a sharp nod of her own.

“Right, then,” she said. She took a long drag on her cigarette. “I’ll be in the den if you need me.” She walked away, leaving a trail of steam and smoke in her wake. Bobo turned to Dennis with an expectant smile and rubbed his hands together.

“All set, Romeo?”

“I think so,” Dennis replied. “Any advice?”

“Well, it’s been my experience that girls like it when you ask them questions about themselves, so