Time Jacker, Aaron Crash [most important books of all time txt] 📗

“Let’s wait for our food,” Jack said. “We can eat and then talk, really talk. I’ll tell you the whole story then, Pine.”

The bartender nodded, mystified, and kept his customers fed and happy.

Meanwhile, Bailey wasn’t about to shut up. “You know, I looked at the bracelets. Did you notice the Enochian script? My Enochian isn’t so good, but they were a listing of Meriton’s achievements. Is that a thing you featherheads do?”

“We do.” Gabby showed her own bracelets. The left one had some scrollwork on it. “This says I am a member of the Pinturicchio Legion, and that I have finished my training.”

“A billion fucking years later.” Bailey laughed loudly. “Nice work, there, all that schoolwork.”

“Be nice, Bailey.” Jack sipped his beer, but he noticed that one of the European men was gazing at them with more than a little interest. And it wasn’t just the beauty of the women. Who was that guy?

Gabby frowned. “I know, I...I wanted to make sure I was perfect when I started this important work. And there was the...the thing we can’t talk about to consider as well. It didn’t get bad until recently. Or it will get bad.”

Jack wanted to make Gabby feel better. “You’re amazing, Gabby. We wouldn’t have survived the Cast Away, Gone Astray without you. Hey, Pinetree, can you get my friend something other than beer? How about a Shirley Temple?”

“Sure thing.” The bartender got to work.

Bailey tossed a pretzel at the angel. “Yeah, Feathers, you’re wonderful. But really, Jack, it was that Cannon. How many shots do you have left?”

“Two,” he said. “Any idea on how to get reloads? I’d be surprised if I could just get normal powder, patches, and lead and make them work.”

“I have some ideas,” Bailey said. Then she shouted, “Hey, barkeep, I want another shot, or else I’ll tell everyone what kind of porn you like.”

Jack had had enough of the demon. A loud beautiful woman set everyone on edge. And he didn’t want Gabby dying of embarrassment. “Bailey, behave yourself. You know what I’m talking about.” He stared into the demon’s eyes to make sure she understood he wasn’t fucking around.

Bailey glanced away. “Yeah, fine. I’ll be the good little girl for you, Daddy. This will be so much easier when you stop time. Then I can do whatever I want.”

“No, you can’t,” Gabby said.

That wasn’t going to make things better.

Before Bailey could respond, Libby came rushing out of the kitchen and set their plates in front of them. Big piles of fried fish and fries for Bailey, buffalo wings for Jack, and a big basket of onion rings for the angel.

Who loved the taste. Her eyes fluttered. “This food, it is so bad for this body, but tastes so good. Why would the divine torture you humans so?”

“Dramatic irony, bitch.” Bailey slid her shot glass across the bar so Pinetree could fill it with more Jack Daniels. She then grabbed the beer she’d ordered for Gabby and drained half of it.

Pinetree topped her off. Gabby sipped her soda, and again, more eyelid fluttering. “It’s so sweet and happy! Why would anyone want to drink intoxicating liquors when there is this ambrosia?”

Bailey rolled her eyes. “And you didn’t want me embarrassing you.”

“Hey, Pinetree, want to see a trick?” Jack asked.

Pinetree shrugged. “Sure.”

Jack brushed his thumb across the soldier tattoo.

Everything stopped. Dead silence descended.

Bailey climbed halfway on the bar and gave Pinetree a shove, and the bartender was yanked out of the timestream.

He glanced around in shock. “Okay. Well. This night got a fuck-ton more interesting.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

STANDING BEHIND HIS bar, Pinetree blinked. “Hey, Jack, what’s going on?”

The chatter had all ceased. Libby was frozen on her way back to the kitchen, her tray full of dirty dishes. The jukebox had stopped singing. The place was silent.

“I can stop time, Pinetree. Meet Gabby, as in Gabriella. She’s an angel. And this is Bailey, as in Beyazul Baal. She’s a demon. My life has gotten complicated.”

Pinetree immediately poured himself a shot and drank it down. This was completely out of the ordinary. The guy knew he couldn’t run a bar if he was drunk all the time. Even with all his wits about him, keeping any kind of business afloat was a rough one.

Jack filled in his friend about the weirdest days of his life.

“Yeah, you talked about Annie,” the bartender said. “So, heaven and hell are real. That’s going to keep me up at nights.”

“Not unless you want Bailey to wipe your memory.” Jack rubbed Bailey’s back.

“Because she’s a demon.” Pinetree squinted at the brunette.

Bailey grew horns, blackened her eyes, and showed him her fangs.

Pinetree swallowed. “Heaven help me.”

“Gladly.” Gabby let her halo shine, which lit up the room. It was cleaner than Jack would’ve thought.

Pinetree seemed to consider pouring himself another whiskey.

Jack, though, chewed on a wing while at the same time laying the bracelets, the cap-and-ball revolver, and three of the goblets on the bar. “I’m looking to sell the gold and gems. Not selling the gun, just wondering if you know a place where I can find some extra cylinders and maybe someone who knows about ancient artifacts of infinite power.”

Gabby sighed and her halo dimmed until it vanished. Like Jack thought, she wasn’t thrilled about him selling Meriton’s goodies.

Meanwhile, Pinetree stared at the loot, then at Bailey’s horns, then back at the objects on the bar. “Uh, I know a guy in the gold and precious gems market in downtown Denver. I can set you up, trusting I’ll get a taste. As for the gun, you should go ask the Lauder.”

Jack struck his head. “Right. Chet Lauder. I forgot he has that gun shop off the freeway. He could set me up. And sure, PT, I can give you a percentage. These aren’t stolen, by the way.”

“No,” the bartender murmured. “Don’t expect they would be. You were always the upright citizen. Until, you know, the police academy. But that wasn’t your fault.”

“It was all