Gifting Fire, Alina Boyden [books to read for self improvement .txt] 📗

when I was so close to escaping his notice. I pressed on, dragging myself right up to the base of the tower. My heart slowed a little, and I felt myself begin to relax. I was far enough away from the eastern tower that I didn’t think the man there could spot me, and unless the guard in this tower bent over and looked straight down, I was safely out of sight.

I worked my way around the tower, fighting down the urge to rush. Impatience was always the biggest danger. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to just go as fast as possible, to just get it all over with, but that was a surefire way to get caught. No, in spite of the fear that was surging through me, I had to take everything in a plodding, methodical fashion. I had to be sure of each grip with my hands, of each gentle pull to move me through the water. I had to time my movements with the waves so that I wouldn’t accidentally bump up against the tower, or cause one of the ripples to break early and create a splash.

I paused as I reached the far southwestern corner of the palace. Once I rounded this bend, I would be on the western side. There would be more guards here, standing along the parapets, manning at least one more tower to my north. But once I got past them, I’d be able to swim straight toward Kadiro’s harbor.

I shook my head. This was madness. After all this, I still had another wall to swim past, and then a half-mile swim through the lagoon, all while praying that not a single guard saw me. The waters were dark, it was true, and it would take sharp eyes to notice me, but I couldn’t help but feel completely and utterly exposed. There were no pillars or rosebushes or statues to hide behind here, like there had been in the wealthy havelis in Bikampur. There were no alleys I might vanish into. And if an alarm was raised, even if I could swim away and escape the musket balls they would surely shoot at me, Karim’s first move would be to check my bedchamber, and then everything would be undone.

But it would be stupid to turn back now. I might well be caught climbing back into my bedchamber, without anything to show for it. That would be the worst outcome of all. So I steeled myself against the agony of uncertainty and turned the corner, pulling myself along the wall with slow, steady movements, gritting my teeth against the urge to turn around and go back to bed. If I didn’t get these messages out, then someday soon, Karim would be lying in that bed with me. When set beside that horrific prospect, getting shot by a guardsman’s toradar didn’t seem half-bad.

The western wall was crawling with guards. Every crenellation in the battlement above me was highlighted by the red glow of a toradar’s burning match cord. The tower in the distance had four men standing in it, each one looking in a different direction. God, did Karim know what I was doing? Had he been expecting me to try something like this? I should have scouted things out better, should have spent a night or two observing the guards’ routines before running off like an imbecile.

None of the men was looking down; that was to my advantage, but I couldn’t imagine trusting it to chance. All it would take would be one random glance, one guard staring at his feet at the wrong moment, and then all would be lost. This wasn’t like breaking into a haveli with a couple of servants armed with clubs. This wasn’t even like our assault on Shikarpur. At least there the guards had all been half-trained peasant conscripts, the bulk of the army having already left to attack Bikampur. No, these men were Sultan Ahmed’s best, and they were all awake and alert. What had I got myself into?

I clung to the wall for a moment, weighing my options. The men seemed so clear to me because they were standing in torchlight, or holding burning slow matches whose soft glow illuminated their faces. But the water was pitch black. I’d sneaked past guards before, trusting the darkness to shield me, but never so many, nor so well armed. I took a slow, quiet breath, inhaling as deeply as I dared, and then I lowered myself until only my eyes were above the water, and I moved.

I could almost feel their eyes on me. My skin was tingling with anticipation, my chest was tight, and I had to fight the urge to shut my eyes, like that would somehow make me invisible. I paused every now and again for air, being careful to breathe normally, not to take great gasping gulps, in spite of the burning in my lungs. Noise was my greatest enemy. If the guards heard something moving at the base of the wall, they would all stare until one of them spotted me.

I made it to the base of the northwestern tower and stopped for a moment to catch my breath. I was about to undertake the most dangerous part of the journey thus far. I was going to have to swim north, toward the harbor, moving away from the protective shadow of the palace walls. I wanted to do as much of it as I possibly could underwater, so I needed to make sure that I had enough air in my lungs to see me safely outside the range of the guards’ vision, though I didn’t really know how far that was.

I moved with the utmost care around the circumference of the tower, hugging the stone wall with my body, my nose just a hairsbreadth above the surface of the water, the lapping waves washing completely over my face every few seconds. There was no way they would