How to Write Letters (Formerly The Book of Letters), Mary Owens Crowther [book series to read txt] 📗
- Author: Mary Owens Crowther
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Do not seek to be decorative in handwriting—the flourishing Spencerian is impossible.
Do not overdo either the formality or the informality.
Do not use "R.S.V.P." (the initials of the French words "Répondez, s'il vous plaît," meaning "Answer, if you please") unless the information is really necessary for the making of arrangements. It ought to be presumed that those whom you take the trouble to invite will have the sense and the courtesy to answer.
In sending an evening invitation where there are husband and wife, both must be included, unless, of course, the occasion is "stag." If the invitation is to be extended to a daughter, then her name is included in the invitation. In the case of more than one daughter, they will receive a separate invitation addressed to "The Misses Smith." Each male member of the family other than husband should receive a separately mailed invitation.
An invitation, even the most informal, should always be acknowledged within a week of its receipt. It is the height of discourtesy to leave the hostess in doubt either through a tardy answer or through the undecided character of your reply. The acknowledgment must state definitely whether or not you accept.
The acknowledgment of an invitation sent to husband and wife must include both names but is answered by the wife only. The name of a daughter also must appear if it appears in the invitation. If Mr. and Mrs. Smith receive an invitation from Mr. and Mrs. Jones, their acknowledgment must include the names of both Mr. and Mrs. Jones, but the envelope should be addressed to Mrs. Jones only.
FORMAL INVITATIONSWedding invitations should be sent about three weeks—certainly not later than fifteen days—before the wedding. Two envelopes should be used, the name and address appearing on the outside envelope, but only the name on the inside one. The following are correct for formal invitations:
For a church wedding
(A)
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Honour of
———— (Name written in)
Presence at the Marriage of Their Daughter
Dorothy
and
Mr. Philip Brewster
On the Evening of Monday, the Eighth of June
at Six o'Clock
At The Church of the Heavenly Rest
Fifth Avenue, New York City
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(B)
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Honour of Your Presence at
The Marriage of Their Daughter
Dorothy
and
Mr. Philip Brewster
On Monday, June the Eighth
At Six o'Clock
At the Church of the Heavenly Rest
Fifth Avenue, New York
For a home wedding
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Pleasure of
———— (Name written in)
Company at the Marriage of Their Daughter
Dorothy
and
Mr. Philip Brewster
On Wednesday, June the Tenth
At Twelve o'Clock
Five Hundred Park Avenue
Or either of the forms A and B for a church wedding may be used. "Honour of your presence" is more formal than "pleasure of your company" and hence is more appropriate for a church wedding.
It is presumed that an invitation to a home wedding includes the wedding breakfast or reception, but an invitation to a church wedding does not. A card inviting to the wedding breakfast or reception is enclosed with the wedding invitation. Good forms are:
For a wedding breakfast
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Pleasure of
———— (Name written in)
At Breakfast on Tuesday, June the Fourth
at Twelve o'Clock
500 Park Avenue
For a wedding reception
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Pleasure of Your Company
At the Wedding Reception of Their Daughter
Dorothy
and
Mr. Philip Brewster
On Monday Afternoon, June the Third
At Four o'Clock
Five Hundred Park Avenue
Back to list of illustration
For a second marriage
The forms followed in a second marriage—either of a widow or a divorcée—are quite the same as above. The divorcée uses whatever name she has taken after the divorce—the name of her ex-husband or her maiden name if she has resumed it. The widow sometimes uses simply Mrs. Philip Brewster or a combination, as Mrs. Dorothy Evans Brewster. The invitations are issued in the name of the nearest relative—the parent or parents, of course, if living. The forms are:
(A)
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Honour of Your Presence
At the Marriage of Their Daughter
Dorothy
(Mrs. Philip Brewster)
to
Mr. Leonard Duncan
On Thursday, April the Third
At Six o'Clock
Trinity Chapel
(B)
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Honour of Your Presence
At the Marriage of Their Daughter
Mrs. Dorothy Evans Brewster
to
Mr. Leonard Duncan
On Thursday, April the Third
At Six o'Clock
Trinity Chapel
If there are no near relatives, the form may be:
(C)
The Honour of Your Presence is Requested
At the Marriage of
Mrs. Dorothy Evans Brewster
and
Mr. Leonard Duncan
On Thursday, April the Third
At Six o'Clock
Trinity Chapel
In formal invitations "honour" is spelled with a "u."
Recalling an Invitation
The wedding may have to be postponed or solemnized privately, owing to illness or death, or it may be put off altogether. In such an event the invitations will have to be recalled. The card recalling may or may not give a reason, according to circumstances. The cards should be engraved if time permits, but they may have to be written.
Convenient forms are:
(A)
Owing to the Death of Mr. Philip Brewster's Mother,
Mr. and Mrs. Evans beg to
Recall the Invitations for
Their Daughter's Wedding on
Monday, June the Eighth.
Back to list of illustration
(B)
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans beg to Recall
The Invitations for the Marriage of
Their Daughter, Dorothy, and Mr. Philip
Brewster, on Monday, June the Eighth
Wedding announcements
If a wedding is private, no formal invitations are sent out; they are unnecessary, for only a few relatives or intimate friends will be present and they will be asked by word of mouth or by a friendly note. The wedding may be formally announced by cards mailed on the day of the wedding. The announcement will be made by whoever would have sent out wedding invitations—by parents, a near relative, or by the bride and groom, according to circumstances. The custom with the bride's name in the case of a widow or divorcée follows that of wedding invitations. An engraved announcement is not acknowledged (although a letter of congratulations—see page 101—may often be sent). A card is sent to the bride's parents or whoever has sent the announcements. The announcement may be in the following form:
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Announce the Marriage of Their Daughter
Dorothy
to
Mr. Philip Brewster
On Monday, June the Tenth
One Thousand Nineteen Hundred and Twenty-Two
Replying to the invitation
The acceptance or the declination of a formal invitation is necessarily formal but naturally has to be written by hand. It is better to use double notepaper than a correspondence card and it is not necessary to give a reason for being unable to be present—although one may be given. It is impolite to accept or regret only a day or two before the function—the letter should be written as soon as possible after the receipt of the invitation. The letter may be indented as is the engraved invitation, but this is not at all necessary. The forms are:
Accepting
Mr. and Mrs. Frothingham Smith
accept with pleasure
Mr. and Mrs. Evans's
kind invitation to be present
at the marriage of their daughter
Dorothy
and
Mr. Philip Brewster
on Monday, June the twelfth
at twelve o'clock
(and afterward at the wedding breakfast)
Or it may be written out:
Mr. and Mrs. Frothingham Smith accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Evans's kind invitation to be present at the marriage of their daughter Dorothy and Mr. Philip Brewster on Monday, June the twelfth at twelve o'clock (and afterward at the wedding breakfast).
Regretting
Mr. and Mrs. Frothingham Smith
regret exceedingly that they
are unable to accept
Mr. and Mrs. Evans's
kind invitation to be present
at the marriage of their daughter
Dorothy
and
Mr. Philip Brewster
on Monday, June the twelfth
(and afterward at the wedding breakfast)
Or this also may be written out. The portion in parentheses will be omitted if one has not been asked to the wedding breakfast or reception.
For the formal dinner
Formal dinner invitations are usually engraved, as in the following example. In case they are written, they may follow the same form or the letter form. If addressed paper is used the address is omitted from the end. The acknowledgment should follow the wording of the invitation.
(A)
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Pleasure of
Mr. and Mrs. Trent's
Company at Dinner
On Thursday, October the First
at Seven o'Clock
and Afterward for the Play (or Opera, etc.)
500 Park Avenue
(B)
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Pleasure of
Mr. and Mrs. Trent's
Company for Dinner and Opera
on Thursday, October the First
at Seven o'Clock
Accepting
Mr. and Mrs. George Trent accept with much pleasure
Mr. and Mrs. Evans's
kind invitation for dinner
on Thursday, October the first,
at seven o'clock
and afterward for the opera
788 East Forty-Sixth Street
Regretting
Mr. and Mrs. George Trent
regret that they are
unable to accept
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. Evans
for dinner and opera
on Thursday, October the first,
owing to a previous engagement.
788 East Forty-Sixth Street
For a dinner not at home
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Pleasure of
Mrs. and Miss Pearson's
Company at Dinner
At Sherry's
on Friday, March the Thirtieth
At Quarter Past Seven o'Clock
500 Park Avenue
Accepting
Mrs. Richard Pearson and Miss Pearson
accept with much pleasure
Mr. and Mrs. Evans's
very kind invitation for dinner
at Sherry's
on Friday, March the thirtieth
at quarter past seven o'clock
640 West Seventy-Second Street
Regretting
Mrs. Richard Pearson and Miss Pearson
regret exceedingly that they
are unable to accept
Mr. and Mrs. Evans's
very kind invitation for dinner
at Sherry's
on Friday, March the thirtieth
owing to a previous engagement to
dine with Mr. and Mrs. Spencer
640 West Seventy-Second Street
Back to list of illustration
Or the reply may follow the letter form:
Accepting
640 West Seventy-Second Street,
March 16, 1920.
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Pearson accept with pleasure Mrs. John Evans's kind invitation for Friday evening, March the thirtieth.
Regretting
640 West Seventy-Second Street
March 16, 1920.
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Pearson regret sincerely their inability to accept Mrs. John Evans's kind invitation for Friday evening, March the thirtieth.
These acknowledgments, being formal, are written in the third person and must be sent within twenty-four hours.
Dinner "to meet"
If the dinner or luncheon is given to meet a person of importance or a friend from out of town, the purpose should appear in the body of the invitation, thus:
Mr. and Mrs. John Evans
Request the Pleasure of
Mr. and Mrs. Trent's
Company at Dinner
on Thursday, November the Ninth
at Eight o'Clock
to Meet Mr. William H. Allen
To a formal luncheon
Mrs. John Evans
Requests the Pleasure of
Miss Blake's
Company at Luncheon
To meet Miss Grace Flint
on Tuesday, March the Fourth
at One o'Clock
and Afterward to the Matinée
500 Park Avenue
Accepting
Miss Blake
accepts with pleasure
Mrs. Evans's
very kind invitation for luncheon
on Tuesday, March the fourth
at one o'clock
to meet Miss Flint and to go
afterward to the matinée
232 West Thirty-First Street
Regretting
Miss Blake
regrets that a previous engagement
prevents her from accepting
Mrs. Evans's
very kind invitation for luncheon
on Tuesday, March the fourth
at one o'clock
to meet Miss Flint
and to go afterward to the matinée
832 West Thirty-First Street
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