How to Write Letters (Formerly The Book of Letters), Mary Owens Crowther [book series to read txt] 📗

[4] Or whatever the game may be.

Sometimes the visiting card is used with the date and the word "Cards" written in the lower corner as in the visiting-card invitation to a dance. This custom is more often used for the more elaborate affairs.

Miscellaneous invitations

The following are variations of informal party and other invitations:

83 Woodlawn Avenue,

November 4, 1921.

My dear Alice,

I am having a little party on Thursday evening next and I want very much to have you come. If you wish me to arrange for an escort, let me know if you have any preference.

Sincerely yours,

Helen Westley.

500 Park Avenue,

May 12, 1922.

My dear Alice,

On Saturday next I am giving a small party for my niece, Miss Edith Rice of Albany, and I should like very much to have her meet you. I hope you can come.

Very sincerely yours,

Katherine G. Evans.

A letter of condolence may be written to relatives, close friends, and to those whom we know well. When the recipient of the condolatory message is simply an acquaintance, it is in better taste to send a visiting card with "sincere sympathy." Flowers may or may not accompany the card.

But in any case the letter should not be long, nor should it be crammed with sad quotations and mushy sentiment. Of course, at best, writing a condolence is a nice problem. Do not harrow feelings by too-familiar allusions to the deceased. The letter should be sent immediately upon receiving news of death.

When a card is received, the bereaved family acknowledge it a few weeks later with an engraved acknowledgment on a black-bordered card. A condolatory letter may be acknowledged by the recipient or by a relative or friend who wishes to relieve the bereaved one of this task.

Formal acknowledgment engraved on card

Mrs. Gordon Burroughs and Family
Gratefully acknowledge
Your kind expression of sympathy

The cards, however, may be engraved with a space for the name to be filled in:

_____________________________
Gratefully acknowledge

_____________________________
Kind expression of sympathy

When the letter of condolence is sent from a distance, it is acknowledged by a note from a member of the bereaved family. When the writer of the condolence makes the customary call afterward, the family usually makes a verbal acknowledgment and no written reply is required.

Letters of condolence

(A)

My dear Mrs. Burroughs,

May every consolation be given you in your great loss. Kindly accept my deepest sympathy.

Sincerely yours,

Jane Everett.

October 4, 1921

(B)

My dear Mrs. Burroughs,

It is with the deepest regret that we learn of your bereavement. Please accept our united and heartfelt sympathies.

Very sincerely yours,

Katherine Gerard Evans.

October 5, 1921

(C)

My dear Eleanor,

May I express my sympathy for you in the loss of your dear mother, even though there can be no words to comfort you? She was so wonderful to all of us that we can share in some small part in your grief.

With love, I am

Affectionately yours,

Ruth Evans.

July 8, 1922

(D)

My dear Mrs. Burroughs,

I am sorely grieved to learn of the death of your husband, for whom I had the greatest admiration and regard. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy.

Yours sincerely,

Douglas Spencer.

October 6, 1921

A letter of condolence that is something of a classic is Abraham Lincoln's famous letter to Mrs. Bixby, the bereaved mother of five sons who died for their country:

Washington, November 21, 1864.

Dear Madam:

I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

Yours very sincerely and respectfully,

Abraham Lincoln.

This is the letter[5] that Robert E. Lee, when he was president of Washington College, wrote to the father of a student who was drowned:

Washington College,

Lexington, Virginia,

March 19, 1868.

My dear Sir:

Before this you have learned of the affecting death of your son. I can say nothing to mitigate your grief or to relieve your sorrow: but if the sincere sympathy of his comrades and friends and of the entire community can bring you any consolation, I can assure you that you possess it in its fullest extent. When one, in the pureness and freshness of youth, before having been contaminated by sin or afflicted by misery, is called to the presence of his Merciful Creator, it must be solely for his good. As difficult as this may be for you now to recognize, I hope you will keep it constantly in your memory and take it to your comfort; pray that He who in His wise Providence has permitted this crushing sorrow may sanctify it to the happiness of all. Your son and his friend, Mr. Birely, often passed their leisure hours in rowing on the river, and, on last Saturday afternoon, the 4th inst., attempted what they had more than once been cautioned against—to approach the foot of the dam, at the public bridge. Unfortunately, their boat was caught by the return-current, struck by the falling water, and was immediately upset. Their perilous position was at once seen from the shore, and aid was hurried to their relief, but before it could reach them both had perished. Efforts to restore your son's life, though long continued, were unavailing. Mr. Birely's body was not found until next morning. Their remains were, yesterday, Sunday, conveyed to the Episcopal church in this city, where the sacred ceremonies for the dead were performed by the Reverend Dr. Pendleton, who nineteen years ago, at the far-off home of their infancy, placed upon them their baptismal vows. After the service a long procession of the professors and students of the college, the officers and cadets of the Virginia Military Academy, and the citizens of Lexington accompanied their bodies to the packetboat for Lynchburg, where they were placed in charge of Messrs. Wheeler & Baker to convey them to Frederick City.

With great regard and sincere sympathy, I am,

Most respectfully,

R. E. Lee.