Mr. Darcy's Diary, Amanda Grange [elon musk reading list TXT] 📗

negligence as it produced Elizabeth. Her liveliness and vitality would have

been crushed under an ordinary upbringing.

I have decided that Georgiana must have a spell without a governess or a companion, so that she might develop

her own spirit. I am sure that Elizabeth will agree.

Friday 10th October

Elizabeth began to ask me how I had fallen in love with

her.

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‘How could you begin?’ she asked. ‘I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had once

made a beginning; but what could set you off in the

first place?’

I thought. What was it that had started me falling in

love with her? Was it when she had looked at me satirically at the assembly? Or when she had walked through

the mud to see Jane? Or when she had neglected to flatter me, not telling me how well I wrote? Or when she

had refused to try and attract my attention?

‘I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or

the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago.

I was in the middle before I knew I had begun.’

She teased me, saying I had resisted her beauty, and

therefore I must have fallen in love with her impertinence.

‘To be sure, you know no actual good of me – but

nobody thinks of that when they fall in love.’

‘Was there no good in your affectionate behaviour to

Jane, while she was ill at Netherfield?’

‘Dearest Jane! Who could have done less for her? But

make a virtue of it by all means. My good qualities are

under your protection, and you are to exaggerate them as

much as possible.’

‘You do not easily take offence. It cannot have been

easy for you to be at Netherfield – you were not made

very welcome – and yet you were amused rather than

otherwise by our rudeness.’

‘I like to laugh,’ she admitted.

‘And you are loyal to your friends. You berated me

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over my treatment of Wickham – ’

‘Do not speak of him!’ she begged me. ‘I can hardly

bear to think about it.’

‘But I can. He is a loathsome individual, but you did

not know that at the time, and you defended him.There

are not many women who would defend a poor friend

against a rich and eligible bachelor.’

‘However undeserving the “friend” might be,’ she said

ruefully.

‘And you were not afraid to change your mind when

you learnt the truth.You did not cling to your prejudices,

regarding either Wickham or myself. You admitted the

justice of what I said.’

‘Yes, I acknowledged that a man who does not give a

living to a wastrel is not a brute. That is a sign of great

goodness, indeed!’

‘You did everything in your power to help Lydia, even

though you knew her to be thoughtless and wild,’ I

pointed out.

‘She is my sister. I could hardly abandon her to a

rogue,’ she replied.

‘But I am allowed to exaggerate your good points,’ I

reminded her. ‘You said so yourself.’

She laughed.

‘Poor Lydia. I thought she had ruined my chance of

happiness with you for ever. I could not imagine you

would want to be connected to a family in which one of

the girls had eloped, especially not as she had eloped

with your greatest enemy.’

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‘I never thought of that.You had taught me by then

that such things do not matter.’

‘I had taught you more than I realized, then. When

you came to Longbourn, after Lydia’s marriage – ’

‘Yes?’

‘You said so little. I thought you did not care about

me.’

‘Because you were grave and silent, and gave me no

encouragement.’

‘I was embarrassed,’ she said.

‘And so was I.’

‘Tell me, why did you come to Netherfield? Was it

merely so that you could ride to Longbourn and be

embarrassed? Or had you intended any more serious

consequence?’

‘My real purpose was to see you, and to judge, if I

could, whether I might ever hope to make you love me.

My avowed one, or what I avowed to myself, was to see

whether your sister were still partial to Bingley, and if she

were, to make the confession to him which I have since

made.’

‘Shall you ever have courage to announce to Lady

Catherine, what is to befall her?’

‘I am more likely to want time than courage, Elizabeth. But it ought to be done, and if you will give me a

sheet of paper, it shall be done directly.’

Whilst I composed my letter to Lady Catherine, Elizabeth composed a letter to her aunt and uncle in

Gracechurch Street. Hers was easier to write than mine,

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because it would give pleasure, whereas mine would give

distress. But it had to be done.

Lady Catherine,

I am sure you will want to wish me happy. I

have asked Miss Elizabeth Bennet to marry

me, and she has done me the great honour of

saying yes.

Your nephew,

Fitzwilliam Darcy

‘And now I will write a far pleasanter letter,’ I said.

I took another sheet of paper and wrote to Georgiana.

My dear sister,

I know you will be delighted to hear that

Elizabeth and I are to marry. I will tell you

everything when I see you next.

Your loving brother,

Fitzwilliam

It was short, but I had time for no more. I read it

through, sanded it and addressed the envelope.

‘Shall you mind having another sister?’ I asked Elizabeth.

‘Not at all. I am looking forward to it. She will live

with us at Pemberley?’

‘If you have no objection?’

‘None at all.’

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‘She can learn a great deal from you.’

‘And I from her. She will be able to tell me all about

the Pemberley traditions.’

‘You must alter anything you do not like.’

‘No, I will not alter anything. My aunt and I are

already agreed, Pemberley is perfect just as it is.’

Tuesday 14th October

Elizabeth is delighted with Georgiana’s letter, which

arrived this morning. It was well