Canterbury Tales and Other Poems, Geoffrey Chaucer [good fiction books to read txt] 📗

harm than prow,*] *profit But truely, mine owen master dear,

This was a piteous tale for to hear;

But natheless, pass over; ‘tis *no force. no matter*

I pray to God to save thy gentle corse, body And eke thine urinals, and thy jordans, Thine Hippocras, and eke thy Galliens, <2>

And every boist* full of thy lectuary, *box <3>

God bless them, and our lady Sainte Mary.

So may I the’,* thou art a proper man, *thrive And like a prelate, by Saint Ronian;

Said I not well? Can I not speak *in term? in set form*

But well I wot thou dost* mine heart to erme,* makest **grieve<4>

That I have almost caught a cardiacle: heartache <5>

By corpus Domini <6>, but* I have triacle,* unless **a remedy Or else a draught of moist and corny <7> ale, Or but* I hear anon a merry tale, unless Mine heart is brost for pity of this maid. burst, broken Thou bel ami,* thou Pardoner,” he said, good friend

“Tell us some mirth of japes* right anon.” *jokes “It shall be done,” quoth he, “by Saint Ronion.

But first,” quoth he, “here at this alestake alehouse sign <8>

I will both drink, and biten on a cake.”

But right anon the gentles gan to cry, “Nay, let him tell us of no ribaldry.

Tell us some moral thing, that we may lear learn Some wit,* and thenne will we gladly hear.” wisdom, sense “I grant y-wis,” quoth he; “but I must think *surely Upon some honest thing while that I drink.”

 

Notes to the Prologue to the Pardoner’s Tale 1. The nails and blood of Christ, by which it was then a fashion to swear.

 

2. Mediaeval medical writers; see note 36 to the Prologue to the Tales.

 

3. Boist: box; French “boite,” old form “boiste.”

 

4. Erme: grieve; from Anglo-Saxon, “earme,” wretched.

 

5. Cardiacle: heartache; from Greek, “kardialgia.”

 

6. Corpus Domini: God’s body.

 

7. Corny ale: New and strong, nappy. As to “moist,” see note 39 to the Prologue to the Tales.

 

8. (Transcriber’s Note)In this scene the pilgrims are refreshing themselves at tables in front of an inn. The pardoner is drunk, which explains his boastful and revealing confession of his deceits.

 

THE TALE <1>

 

Lordings (quoth he), in churche when I preach, I paine me to have an hautein* speech, take pains *loud <2>

And ring it out, as round as doth a bell, For I know all by rote that I tell.

My theme is always one, and ever was;

Radix malorum est cupiditas.<3>

First I pronounce whence that I come,

And then my bulles shew I all and some; Our liege lorde’s seal on my patent,

That shew I first, *my body to warrent, for the protection That no man be so hardy, priest nor clerk, of my person*

Me to disturb of Christe’s holy werk.

And after that then tell I forth my tales.

Bulles of popes, and of cardinales,

Of patriarchs, and of bishops I shew,

And in Latin I speak a wordes few,

To savour with my predication,

And for to stir men to devotion

Then show I forth my longe crystal stones, Y-crammed fall of cloutes* and of bones; rags, fragments Relics they be, as weene they* each one. as my listeners think

Then have I in latoun* a shoulder-bone *brass Which that was of a holy Jewe’s sheep.

“Good men,” say I, “take of my wordes keep; heed If that this bone be wash’d in any well, If cow, or calf, or sheep, or oxe swell, That any worm hath eat, or worm y-stung, Take water of that well, and wash his tongue, And it is whole anon; and farthermore

Of pockes, and of scab, and every sore Shall every sheep be whole, that of this well Drinketh a draught; take keep* of that I tell. *heed “If that the goodman, that the beastes oweth, owneth Will every week, ere that the cock him croweth, Fasting, y-drinken of this well a draught, As thilke holy Jew our elders taught,

His beastes and his store shall multiply.

And, Sirs, also it healeth jealousy;

For though a man be fall’n in jealous rage, Let make with this water his pottage,

And never shall he more his wife mistrist, mistrust *Though he the sooth of her defaulte wist; though he truly All had she taken priestes two or three. <4> knew her sin*

Here is a mittain* eke, that ye may see; *glove, mitten He that his hand will put in this mittain, He shall have multiplying of his grain, When he hath sowen, be it wheat or oats, So that he offer pence, or elles groats.

And, men and women, one thing warn I you; If any wight be in this churche now

That hath done sin horrible, so that he Dare not for shame of it y-shriven* be; *confessed Or any woman, be she young or old,

That hath y-made her husband cokewold, cuckold Such folk shall have no power nor no grace To offer to my relics in this place.

And whoso findeth him out of such blame, He will come up and offer in God’s name; And I assoil* him by the authority *absolve Which that by bull y-granted was to me.”

 

By this gaud* have I wonne year by year *jest, trick A hundred marks, since I was pardonere.

I stande like a clerk in my pulpit,

And when the lewed* people down is set, *ignorant I preache so as ye have heard before,

And telle them a hundred japes* more. *jests, deceits Then pain I me to stretche forth my neck, And east and west upon the people I beck, As doth a dove, sitting on a bern; barn My handes and my tongue go so yern, briskly That it is joy to see my business.

Of avarice and of such cursedness wickedness Is all my preaching, for to make them free To give their pence, and namely* unto me. *especially For mine intent is not but for to win, And nothing for correction of sin.

I recke never, when that they be buried, Though that their soules go a blackburied.<5>

For certes *many a predication preaching is often inspired Cometh ofttime of evil intention; by evil motives*

Some for pleasance of folk, and flattery, To be advanced by hypocrisy;

And some for vainglory, and some for hate.

For, when I dare not otherwise debate, Then will I sting him with my tongue smart sharply In preaching, so that he shall not astart escape To be defamed falsely, if that he

Hath trespass’d* to my brethren or to me. *offended For, though I telle not his proper name, Men shall well knowe that it is the same By signes, and by other circumstances.

Thus *quite I* folk that do us displeasances: I am revenged on

Thus spit I out my venom, under hue

Of holiness, to seem holy and true.

But, shortly mine intent I will devise, I preach of nothing but of covetise.

Therefore my theme is yet, and ever was, —

Radix malorum est cupiditas. <3>

Thus can I preach against the same vice Which that I use, and that is avarice.

But though myself be guilty in that sin, Yet can I maken other folk to twin depart From avarice, and sore them repent.

But that is not my principal intent;

I preache nothing but for covetise.

Of this mattere it ought enough suffice.

Then tell I them examples many a one,

Of olde stories longe time gone;

For lewed* people love tales old; *unlearned Such thinges can they well report and hold.

What? trowe ye, that whiles I may preach And winne gold and silver for* I teach, *because That I will live in povert’ wilfully?

Nay, nay, I thought it never truely.

For I will preach and beg in sundry lands; I will not do no labour with mine hands, Nor make baskets for to live thereby,

Because I will not beggen idlely.

I will none of the apostles counterfeit; imitate (in poverty) I will have money, wool, and cheese, and wheat, All* were it given of the poorest page, even if Or of the pooreste widow in a village: All should her children sterve for famine. *die Nay, I will drink the liquor of the vine, And have a jolly wench in every town.

But hearken, lordings, in conclusioun; Your liking is, that I shall tell a tale Now I have drunk a draught of corny ale, By God, I hope I shall you tell a thing That shall by reason be to your liking; For though myself be a full vicious man, A moral tale yet I you telle can,

Which I am wont to preache, for to win.

Now hold your peace, my tale I will begin.

 

In Flanders whilom was a company

Of younge folkes, that haunted folly,

As riot, hazard, stewes,* and taverns; *brothels Where as with lutes, harpes, and giterns, guitars They dance and play at dice both day and night, And eat also, and drink over their might; Through which they do the devil sacrifice Within the devil’s temple, in cursed wise, By superfluity abominable.

Their oathes be so great and so damnable, That it is grisly* for to hear them swear. *dreadful <6>

Our blissful Lorde’s body they to-tear; tore to pieces <7>

Them thought the Jewes rent him not enough, And each of them at other’s sinne lough. laughed And right anon in come tombesteres <8>

Fetis* and small, and younge fruitesteres.* dainty **fruit-girls Singers with harpes, baudes,* waferers,* revellers **cake-sellers Which be the very devil’s officers,

To kindle and blow the fire of lechery, That is annexed unto gluttony.

The Holy Writ take I to my witness,

That luxury is in wine and drunkenness. <9>

Lo, how that drunken Lot unkindely unnaturally Lay by his daughters two unwittingly,

So drunk he was he knew not what he wrought.

Herodes, who so well the stories sought, <10>

When he of wine replete was at his feast, Right at his owen table gave his hest command To slay the Baptist John full guilteless.

Seneca saith a good word, doubteless:

He saith he can no difference find

Betwixt a man that is out of his mind, And a man whiche that is drunkelew: a drunkard <11>

But that woodness,* y-fallen in a shrew, madness **one evil-tempered Persevereth longer than drunkenness.

 

O gluttony, full of all cursedness;

O cause first of our confusion,

Original of our damnation,

Till Christ had bought us with his blood again!

Looke, how deare, shortly for to sayn, Abought* was first this cursed villainy: *atoned for Corrupt was all this world for gluttony.

Adam our father, and his wife also,

From Paradise, to labour and to woe,

Were driven for that vice, it is no dread. doubt For while that Adam fasted, as I read, He was in Paradise; and when that he

Ate of the fruit defended* of the tree, *forbidden <12>

Anon he was cast out to woe and pain.

O gluttony! well ought us on thee plain.

Oh! wist a man how many maladies

Follow of excess and of gluttonies,

He woulde be the more measurable moderate Of his diete, sitting at his table.

Alas! the shorte throat, the tender mouth, Maketh that east and west, and north and south, In earth, in air, in water, men do swink labour To get a glutton dainty meat and drink.

Of this mattere, O Paul! well canst thou treat Meat unto womb,* and womb eke unto meat, *belly Shall God destroye both, as Paulus