The Woman with the Blue Star, Pam Jenoff [highly recommended books txt] 📗

meant certain death. “If you leave, you’ll be killed.” There was nothing left for Mama, though, if her children were not safe. She kissed me on the forehead, and in the strength of her lips, she seemed to return for just a second. But when I looked up, her eyes were hollow and dark, a stranger’s. “Please don’t.” I began to cry.

Saul stood and walked from where he had been sitting with his family toward me. He tried to put his arms around me, but I shook him off. “Please, tell her not to go!” I insisted. I waited for someone, Pan Rosenberg or his mother maybe, to point out the foolishness of my mother’s plan and prevent her from leaving. My father would have stopped her, if he were here. I turned to Saul. “How can you let her do this? She won’t survive up there. There’s nowhere she can go that is safe.”

“Because it is the right thing to do,” Saul said quietly. I was stunned. “My grandmother is right: if the baby stays here, we are all dead. And I won’t lose you, Sadie, not if I can save you.” I knew he was thinking of Shifra, and the ways in which he had failed her. “You can’t stop her,” he added in a low voice, gesturing with his head toward my mother. “She is determined to leave. The only thing you can do now is help her to go safely.”

I took in all that he had said, numb with disbelief. He was right. None of us could stop her from going. But I could not stay here without her. “Take me, too,” I begged. “I will come with you,” I insisted. “I know the way out. I can help carry the baby.”

Mama shook her head. “No, you must stay here. Together we would be more easily spotted. I can move more quickly alone. I will be back in a few hours, a day at most.” She forced certainty into her voice.

“If you wait until my friend Ella comes, I can ask for her help.” I didn’t know how Ella could possibly help hide a baby, but I was stalling for time, anything to keep Mama from going.

She shook her head. “I can’t wait. Every time the baby cries, it puts us all at risk. We can’t count on anyone else now. Just let me get her to safety and I will come back to you, I swear.”

So it was decided. My sister would go. Mama would take her. And I would be left here alone.

Mama set down the satchel and passed the baby to me while she reached for her coat. Then she hesitated. The coat sleeve still bore the white armband with a blue star that we had been ordered to wear. “Here, take this,” Bubbe Rosenberg said, walking across the chamber with her own dark cape.

“Thank you.” Mama took the cape and put it on. I saw then how Mama’s blond hair had begun to turn to gray and her once-rosy skin was pale and withered like tissue paper. The sewer had aged her, seemingly overnight. She took the baby back from me.

Bubbe put her hand on Mama’s shoulder and then touched the baby’s head. I wanted to smack her hand away. How dare she feign kindness after what she had done? “We will keep her safe until you return,” she said, nodding her head in my direction. I was confused. Mama said she would not be gone more than a day, but Bubbe’s words made it seem like so much longer. An uneasy feeling balled like a fist in my stomach.

Mama picked up the satchel once more and walked to the entrance of the chamber with the baby. “Come,” she said to me. “I need you to show me the way.” My stomach twisted. Was she really asking me to help her leave?

“Take her to the grate,” Saul urged in a low voice. “Otherwise, she might get lost.”

He was right; Mama would need my help to get out. “But how can I help my own mother leave?” I protested.

“I can guide her, if you want,” Saul offered.

I shook my head. “I have to do this myself.”

He put his hand on my arm. “I’m sorry, Sadie. I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you. I’ll be waiting here for you when you come back.” His words were little comfort.

Reluctantly, I followed my mother into the tunnel. She started toward the grate where I had first seen Ella. I took her arm to stop her. “This way,” I said, guiding her in the opposite direction. The grate near the river, where I had come out to find food, was the safer option.

As we started down the tunnel, doubts flooded me. Nothing about this plan made sense or was all right. There had to be another way. I wanted to argue once more. But Mama’s steps were dogged now, her jaw set with grim determination. She would not be dissuaded. I had no choice. I had to lead her safely to the street or she would try to find her own way—and she would never make it alone.

A few minutes later, we reached the basin. “The exit is on the far side,” I explained. I saw the doubt in her eyes, not just about being able to climb from the well, but about her entire plan to bring my sister to safety. I went first, then helped her down into the deep basin. We made our way across. On the far side, she handed me the baby and attempted to climb the wall to the ledge without success. I tried to help her while holding my sister, but I could not do it with one hand. I looked around and found a dry spot on the ground and placed the baby gently on it. I put my hands around Mama’s waist. She was featherlight as I lifted her and helped her up the wall