The Woman with the Blue Star, Pam Jenoff [highly recommended books txt] 📗

Then I picked up the baby once more. I leaned down to kiss my sister goodbye, a lone tear splashing against the soft, warm skin of her forehead. “I’m sorry,” I said. If only I had been stronger and could have done more to keep her with us.

“Quickly,” Mama said. I handed my sister up to her, feeling the warmth fade from my hands as I let go of her. I climbed up the wall of the basin to join them and we crawled through the last bit of pipe in silence.

When we reached the grate, the space above was deserted. “The grate will let you out on the riverbank and then you can walk across the bridge.” I faltered, knowing that our time together was quickly drawing to an end. “You must stay close to the buildings and take the backstreets and alleys.” I thought of the distance and the danger that stood before her. It would have been nearly impossible under normal circumstances. How would she ever manage it in her weakened state with a baby?

I wrapped my arms around Mama as though I was a child, tucking my head under her chin. I clung to her waist, not wanting to let her go. She held me firmly for several seconds, rocking the way she once had when she wanted to soothe me and humming a familiar lullaby under her breath. I wanted to stand frozen in that moment forever. My childhood, all of the memories we had shared, passed between us, slipping through my fingers like the tide receding. Between us, my sister cooed.

I looked down at the baby, caressed the top of her head, which had become as familiar as my own in such a short period of time. I had only just found her and grown to love her and now I was going to lose her, maybe forever. The three of us were the very last family we had. “It will be a few months tops,” Mama said. “Then the war will be over and we can go get her right away.” I wanted to believe it would be that simple. But I had seen too much of the war.

“Mama, she still needs a name,” I said.

“God will name her,” she said, and I knew in that moment that she did not believe we would get my sister back.

Then Mama disentangled herself and turned to face the grate. I pushed it open for her and she climbed out, holding my sister.

Still I could not let her go. “Wait, I’ll come with you,” I said, grasping her ankle so hard she nearly stumbled. I started to climb out after her.

“No,” she replied firmly, shaking off my grip. I knew that there would be no convincing her. “You must stay here. I’ll come back to you, I swear.” Mama’s voice was strong and sure. “I love you, kochana,” my mother said as I helped her replace the grate with effort. Her face lingered for a moment before disappearing. I stood motionless, listening for the sounds, anything to know that she was still there. But I heard only her footsteps, growing fainter as she walked away. I was seized with the urge to climb out and follow, beg her not to go, or at the very least keep her safe while she did.

There was a scraping noise from above. My breath caught. Mama had returned! I waited for her to realize her mistake, to come back and say she would never leave me, that we would find a way together. But a pigeon appeared, pecking at the grate. It looked down at me sorrowfully before flapping its wings and flying away, leaving me alone.

18

Sadie

And just like that, my whole world was gone.

After Mama disappeared onto the riverbank with my baby sister, I remained by the grate, waiting. Some part of me expected her to realize the foolishness of her own plan and return.

“Mama!” I called, louder than I should, just in case she was still within earshot. It was dangerous—I might be heard by a patrol or passerby overhead and give us all away. But I didn’t care anymore.

After listening for a response and hearing none, I started back toward the chamber, dejected. As I neared the entrance, I stumbled forward and tripped, falling into the shallow water on my hands and knees. Water soaked into my clothes. “Mama!” I cried like a helpless child, not getting up.

Bubbe appeared at the entrance to the chamber and helped me to my feet. “Your mother’s gone,” she said without emotion.

“Mama,” I said again, as though calling her name over and over would somehow bring her back. But my voice was weaker now.

“You must be quiet,” Bubbe admonished as she steered me back to the chamber. “Someone will hear you and we’ll all be done for.”

Inside the chamber, I slumped against the wall. Mama was lost and on her own with the baby. How could she manage, alone and weakened from giving birth just days earlier? Exposed on the street without a place to hide or even a clean set of clothes, she would surely arouse suspicion and might be quickly caught.

Saul came and wrapped me in a dry blanket, then put his arms around me. As I nestled my head under his chin, I could feel his father’s puzzled stare as he watched the two of us together. It was more than just our physical contact, which normally would have been forbidden. He was also realizing for the first time how close his son and I had become. For Pan Rosenberg and his mother, this had to come as a shock. Despite his fondness for me, he would never understand nor approve his son being with someone like me, who was not an observant Jew.

Heedless of what the others might think, Saul led me to the corner of the chamber Mama and I shared. “Sit,” he said, still holding me. I did not argue, but