Simply Feminine � Surprising Insights from Men, Wonderly, Morgan [best ereader manga txt] 📗

A masculine man wants a feminine woman who is his valued counterpart, not a bimbo or a pushover. Nor is he looking for his gender twin—a masculine woman. He wants a woman who will complement his masculinity with her femininity.

Although these qualities of softness and tenderness may seem insignificant to us because they are natural and effortless for us, they are precious to a man. Our feminine softness proves valuable because it soothes his soul and contributes to his sense of well-being. Our femininity makes a man feel masculine, and his masculinity restores his energy. Without a feminine woman in his life, a man often lacks inspiration and may settle for an unheroic life.

Think back to a time when you saw a feminine woman’s influence over a man. Perhaps it was a gentle, petite woman who calmed her gruff man (who was twice her size) simply with her soft tone and tender touch. It seems illogical, but the female’s tenderness works like magic on men … and they love it.

Men Love the Subtleties of Our Femininity

I was surprised to learn how much the simplest, most unassuming nuances can have the biggest effect in captivating men. Men take note of certain things we would never expect. While men don’t always observe or focus on our imperfections, they do notice small gestures and qualities that make us enchantingly feminine to them. Here are some examples:

The twinkle in our eye when we communicate our interest.

That certain look that speaks volumes.

The way our strands of hair frame our face and shoulders.

The delicate movements of our hands and wrists.

The carefree way our hair blows in the breeze.

The uninhibited giggles we let out when he says something humorous.

The back of our neck that’s exposed when our hair is pulled up.

The delicacy of our fingers holding a fork or wine glass.

The radiant smiles we flash him.

The soft whispers we breathe into his ear.

The dangling of a shoe when one leg is crossed over the other.

The strap of our dress or blouse slipping off our shoulder.

The mindless way we twirl our hair with our finger when we’re nervous.

The way we sing like a songbird from another part of the house.

The fresh smell we have after a bath.

The clean scent of our hair just after it’s washed.

The simple movements and gestures that men find endearing require little or no effort on our part. To men, femininity isn’t so much what we do, it’s who we are naturally, authentically.

A number of men told me about moments from the past with feminine women that they’ll never forget. One man remembered holding his girlfriend’s hand and twirling the ring on her finger as a way of connecting while they listened to a monotonous speaker. Another remembered seeing a redhead from behind in a grocery store and being in awe of her beautiful red curls. Another man remembered an Italian woman he encountered in Rome who gave him a warm and unforgettable smile as she walked by.

From the way men talk about these memories, I’ve been repeatedly awestruck by how these special little moments seem embedded in men’s minds forever. Even when we may not be aware of it, men notice us. When we realize that men appreciate the little things about us, it will give us greater confidence and make us feel more beautiful. And when we feel beautiful, we are beautiful!

Jim, an engineer from California, once remarked:

“I will never forget a waitress I observed at a restaurant in a shopping mall. She had a good body, looked like she was very active, not at all overweight, and not over-the-top sexy either, just genuinely healthy-looking. She was running around helping everyone she could. She was laughing, she was happy, and the customers seemed to love her. I noticed a couple of the male waiters watching her, as she was covering far more tables and customers than they were. They were grinning. I felt that this was a woman that I could like. Her attitude was extremely attractive to me, and she was wonderfully feminine in my eyes. What I didn’t tell you is that apart from her attitude, and an athletic, womanly body, she would be considered quite homely, perhaps a 3 on a 1-10 scale. But she didn’t know it! From her attitude you would have thought that she felt she was the most beautiful woman in the world!”

Why Men Stay Quiet

But why don’t we know more about what men find feminine? Why haven’t men shared their opinions with us? I’ve learned men do have definite thoughts and feelings regarding femininity, including what they do and don’t like, but because they’ve been ridiculed and put down for giving their opinions, they’ve grown cautious. Men know what they like, but they often don’t know how to articulate it. Many men believe women simply don’t care about what men think.

In today’s hypersensitive political climate around gender issues, men have become careful about what they say. They might try to verbalize their ideas in a politically correct way but still offend someone. Men fear being called “sexist” or other derogatory adjectives that result in their being alienated from women. Men love and need us, which they will freely admit. Therefore, being cut off from us is the last thing they want.

Men’s ideas, opinions, and attitudes regarding femininity have been buried for so long that they might deny having any opinions at all. They need to feel safe with us before they will open up. They need to know we won’t get defensive or verbally attack them. When we ask a man if he likes a certain outfit on us and he responds in a general way with “Sure honey, you look good in everything you wear,” we can be fairly sure he’s trying not to upset us by saying the wrong thing. But the truth is, men do have preferences.

Men Are Energized by Our Femininity

Mother Nature engineered men to desire us