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of us, whether we realize it or not, are continually searching for ways to cope with this feeling of being alone, of feeling alienated. Some men find solace in their sexual fantasies. If he can't have Mother back, he can Page 301

have another beautiful woman tell him what to do.

Not only will she tell him what to do, but she'll tell him how to do it, and maybe even punish him when he does it wrong. This type of man seeks a sexual partner who will permit him to let it all out, let him cry, let him beg, let him be a helpless child again.

Some men flip the whole fantasy and want to do unto you that which they can't admit to themselves they want done unto them. This type of man keeps these fantasies locked away in his private sexual psyche until some clever Huntress rubs Aladdin's lamp and frees his fantasies and makes him feel OK about them.

Huntresses, if you feel you could be happy with a Jerry, there is a sure way to his heart. Simply play his fantasy games. Not all Jerrys want to dress in women's clothes. Other Jerrys want to spice up their lovemaking with games that involve spanking, tickling, wrestling, or bringing some far-out toys to bed with the two of you.

A Walk on the Weird Side

Some confirmed bachelors have even deeper, darker secrets. Like the duckling who identifies as its mother the first moving object it sees once it leaves the egg, some young boys carry throughout their lives an incurable attraction to an experience or object that left a profound impression on them. If a young boy's sexual cravings misfire, they can get tied to the rubber apron that rubbed against his little genitals while Mother was diapering him or the bare feet he saw walking around his crib. For some few men, these can develop into full-blown fetishes. Because fetishes are practically nonexistent in females, many women do not understand them.

Can you change your Quarry's desires, help him grow out of them? No, therapists tell us. Just as it's practically impossible to change a gay man and make him heterosexual, it's a losing battle to try to change a kinky man and make him go straight. Most far-out fantasies, like Jerry's desire to wear female Page 302

clothing, are baffling, but they generally fall into definable categories.

Suffice it to say that if you do find yourself interested in a Jerry or some other sexually exotic species, simply make a return trip to your video library. This time, say, "Ahem, Id like a bondage [or whatever his kick is] film, please."

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Let us know surface from the underground to Main Street, Everytown, USA, and a problem thaat ll men and women face when they're out with their main squeeze.

A couple, Dick and Jane, are happily strolling hand in hand along the sidewalk together. A gorgeous woman comes slinking toward them from the opposite direction. "Rats," Jane thinks: "I just bet Dick's going to look at her. He wouldn't dare."

"Va va va voom !" Dick thinks. "What a dish!

Whoops, I'd better not let Jane catch me looking at her. Well, I'll just keep my head straight ahead and strike when the eyein' is hot. I'll give my eyes a quickie as she passes close to us."

Dick and Jane keep walking, nonchalantly, oblivious, of course, to the approaching dish. Dick smiles at Jane and gives her hand a squeeze for reassurance.

Jane smiles contentedly.

The dish gets closer. And closer. This is Dick's window of opportunity. It's now or never. He lets his eyeballs swivel her way for a split second. Does he get away with it?

Not in a pig's eye! As far is Jane is concerned, Dick's eyeballs might as well be hanging out and dangling by the optic nerve as the dish passed. Jane goes into a funk or a bout of inse-Page 304

curity, or she hits Dick with an original line like,

"What, you've never seen a woman before?" Bad scene.

TECHNIQUE #83 (FOR HUNTERS):

NO LOOKEE-DISHEE

Hunters, to win the heart of your Quarry, don horse blinders whenever you're with her. Keep your eyeballs on a strict diet.

In fact, pray that a dazzling dish walks your way just so you can prove to your Quarry how oblivious you are to

other women—how you only have eyes for your own fair lady.

Huntress, here's a trick that will help you win the heart of your male Quarry when the inevitable happens. Let me put this in the form of a legal argument.

WHEREAS: All men enjoy looking at other women . . . no matter how much they pretend they don't,

WHEREAS: Men love it when a woman gives him permission to do something he really wanted to do all along but felt he shouldn't, THEREFORE: To win the heart of your Quarry, help him do what he wants to do all along. Give him guilt-free snacks. Point out the good-looking cookies. Make him look at other women .

Point out other women on the street, at a party, on television. Search for them in crowds and make sure your Quarry doesn't miss a single one. How much more affection Dick

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would have felt for Jane if she had said as she spotted the advancing dish, ''Wow, Dick, you're going to like what's coming."

TECHNIQUE #84 (FOR HUNTRESSES):

LOOKEE-DISHEE

Huntresses, point out attractive women to your Quarry to give him permission to look at them. Say things like, "Now, there's a woman with style," or even, "Wow, is she pretty, or what?"

If he's smart, your Quarry will probably protest and mumble something about how you are better-looking.

But then he'll have his guilt-free gander, and you'll have a much happier goose.

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Never let it be said that one tiny pebble was left unturned in the exploration oHfow to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You . No thorough investigation would be complete without examining another passage to our Quarry's heart—the nasal passage, or pheromones.

What? Pheromones . Chemical body excretions.

Body odors.

There has been much talk in

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