The Woman with the Blue Star, Pam Jenoff [highly recommended books txt] 📗

stay for a minute. We’re under a no-visitors order from the General Government. I would be in grave trouble if anyone found out I let you in.”

“I’ll go quickly,” I promised. “But first, can you tell me if you have seen the woman I asked about?”

“She isn’t your mother, is she?” the nun asked sternly.

I lowered my head. “No. I’m sorry. She is my friend’s mother.” I had lied to a nun. I felt as though lightning might strike at any moment. I wondered if she would be angry, insist that I leave without helping me.

“The woman you mentioned came here. One of our priests found her on the street and brought her in for care. When she arrived here, she was very weak. She had a high fever, an infection from giving birth. She had lost a great deal of blood.” I was surprised; Sadie had not mentioned that her mother was so sick. Perhaps she had not known. “We offered her a bed. At first, she did not want to take it. She said she had to get back, to where or whom, she would not say. But she had no choice—she was simply too weak to leave. So we tended to her, gave her what little food and medicine we had.”

My heart raced with excitement. I had found Sadie’s mother. “Where is she now?” I asked. I could reunite them, or at least let Sadie know that her mother was safe.

Her face grew stony. “The Germans came. Usually they avoid the hospital, not wanting to get sick themselves. But this time, they entered and interrogated the staff. They’d received reports of a strangely dressed woman who had nearly collapsed on the street.” The nun’s words sank deep into my bones. Someone had seen Sadie’s mom and reported her. “We could not stand up to the Germans and risk the other patients and the work we are doing here.” Something in her voice told me that their mission went beyond medical care and I wondered if the hospital itself played a role in resisting the Germans. “But we were not about to let them take her. They surely would have killed her as they did the patients at the Jewish hospital.” She paused. “So we gave her mercy ourselves, a simple injection. She did not suffer or feel pain.”

Mercy. The word reverberated in my mind. Sadie’s mother had died. My heart ached for my friend, who had already lost so much.

I swallowed down my sadness, looked up at the nun. “When?”

“A few days ago.”

I shuddered. I was too late. If only I had known, come sooner. But even as I thought it, I knew that I could not have saved her. “And the child, what became of her?”

The nun looked confused. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

“My friend’s mother had an infant with her.”

She shook her head. “She didn’t. She came here alone.”

“But you said she had a baby.”

“No, I said that she had given birth. We could tell that much from her condition. And she kept talking about a child. Such things are not uncommon with women who have lost a child or are in a kind of denial. But there was never a child here with her.” She stood. “I’m sorry, but I’ve told you all that I know. Now for the safety of our patients, I must ask you to leave.” She walked me from her office and let me out of a side door to the hospital.

I turned away, sickened and stunned by all I had learned. I stopped at the fence outside the hospital, leaned on the railing for support. Sadie’s mother was gone, her baby sister nowhere to be found. I felt the pain of losing my own mother so many years ago, as sharp and real as if it was yesterday. But when my mother died, I still had Tata and my siblings to comfort me. Sadie had no family left at all. How was I ever going to tell her?

When I reached the café, I went around back and knocked softly on the cellar door. Kara opened one of the doors and led me to a corner where Sadie sat. Seeing me, her face brightened expectantly. “Any news?” Over Sadie’s shoulder, Kara’s eyes met mine. “My mother,” Sadie said. “Did you learn anything?”

I faltered. Tell her nothing, a voice inside said. Revealing the truth would only destroy her. What harm was there, really, in allowing her to keep hope? But I had never been any good at keeping secrets. I recalled the long, excruciating months when my father was missing at the front, before we had known his fate. Hope had been almost crueler than grief. I took a deep breath.

Then I stopped. I couldn’t do it.

I tried to tell Sadie that her mother had died. But the words stuck in my throat. Her mother had been the very last part of her world, the thing that had kept her going. Now I had to take that last bit of family away from her. I remembered how I felt the night I learned my father was killed, like there was no one left. I would be doing the same thing to Sadie, under circumstances a million times worse. I would be taking away her very last hope, her reason to live. It was, quite literally, signing her death sentence.

What was the harm, really, in letting her cling to hope for a few more days? Perhaps I could even search further for Sadie’s baby sister. Even as I thought that, I knew it was futile. But it gave me hope—and a reason not to tell her just yet.

“Nothing so far.” The lie came out before I could stop myself.

Sadie’s face fell. “I can’t go back without her.”

“Sadie, you must. Think of Saul and his family. I will keep looking,” I added quickly. “But I can’t ask too many questions without drawing attention. Now you must come quickly. We have to get you