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people. You'll get over this."

I tossed the words at him, and they came out harsher around the edges than I meant them to. What did this kid know about love and loss and screwing it all up?

"You have no idea." His mouth twisted in a sneer that was half rage, half pity. "The way you dropped your girl off like that? I never would have left Ithaca that way."

"You have no idea what goes on between me and Evan." My voice cut out, cold with warning.

"I know she was upset and you let her go. I know she had things to say to you, and you didn't listen. Ithaca and I aren't like that. I care about what she thinks and how she feels. I'm going to be there for her, no matter what."

The look on his face was more ballsy than I would have expected in response to my stare-down, and it irritated the shit out of me.

"You think you know a single fucking thing about how life works? I have more people to look out for than you could imagine. I have more responsibility than you could know, and I've had it since I was younger than you are now. I can't just drop everything because of the way I feel. I have people depending on me."

My blood pressure was definitely on the rise, and the look of total disrespect in the little douchebag's eyes wasn't helping me keep my cool.

He popped the door open and gave me a last look, one full of bravado.

"Tell your family I wouldn't take a damn cent from any one of them. And I know you got a lot people to worry about, but you can subtract Ithaca from your little list. Because I'll be the one taking care of that girl for the rest of my life."

He slid out of the backseat and slammed the car door, strutting into his rickety house without a backward glance in my direction.

I drove home with a bad taste in my mouth and thought about what that little shit said for hours. Days. The entire long week.

I thought about it when I drove past Evan's house, trying to catch a glimpse through her bedroom window like some sad stalker.

I thought about it when I picked up the phone to call her a dozen times but never did.

I’m still thinking about it when I go to pick up Remy, drunk, fresh from a brawl, shirtless, and shoe-less, passed out in front of some dive bar.

I watch my brother chatter to himself, curl into the fetal position, and weep into the seat of my car. He needs help. He needs some kind of rehab or something, but I know my parents will never say yes to letting anyone outside of the family in, not even a counselor or therapist. Every priest we know is too caught up in my family's glory and too swayed by the crazy amounts of money and stained glass and new robes the Youngblood family donates to ever interfere, even if my brother's life is at stake.

When I get home, my father shoos Colt, all wide-eyed and shaky, back to the den and helps me heft Remy into his room. My father looks at Remy, a slobbering, sobbing, shaking, skeletal version of himself and says, "Tell your mother to make a pot of strong coffee and let's get out of here so he can sleep it off."

No one says anything else about it, not even when Remy pukes so long and hard, it finally comes up blood. My parents have a hushed argument in the kitchen that ends with my father's firm 'no' and my mother's tearful acceptance.

My dad comes to my room, his eyes bloodshot and the lines in his face deep. "Call about getting the carpeting in Remington's room replaced tomorrow. Top priority."

"Yes, sir." I watch his back as he leaves me in my room.

Carpet.

Top priority.

Days go by and I argue with myself, Evan and Andre's words screaming in my head, and I wake up with a pretty clear realization.

The kid was right.

Evan was right.

I've been kidding myself for a long time.

I also realize I have no clue what to do, what to really do, to fix this whole damn mess. It was easy for me to let go of Evan because I told myself it was for her own good.

Really, it was so I didn't have to face some hard truths. And, of course, just when I resolve to change shit, just when I'm resolved to do things right, the chaos dominoes start tipping over and the Youngblood family implodes all around me.

It starts with Ithaca barging into my room twenty minutes before community service.

"What the hell did you say to him?" she screams, her face so distorted with bald fury, she looks almost ugly.

"Say to who? Calm down."

I move forward, attempt to put my hands on her shoulders, but she jumps back like I'm a venomous snake.

"Calm down? Fuck off!" Her voice carries through the entire house.

Benelli cracks her door open and peeks out.

"What's going on?" she asks, her voice low. "Ithy, what's wrong, sweetheart?"

Ithaca throws herself into our sister's arms and weeps, Benelli looks at me with her eyebrows furrowed, and Colt opens his door and crowds the hallway.

"Andre Ortiz enlisted in the army." Colt pushes his dark hair out of his eyes, and I'd take an arms-held-back beating rather than have to face the look of disappointment he's shooting my way.

Ithaca's sobs are muffled in Benelli's shoulder. Benelli looks from Colt to me and back. "Oh no. The skateboard boy?"

Ithaca wrenches her head from Benelli and points an accusing finger at her. "You're laughing at me? You? Out of everyone in this entire fucked-up family, I thought you would understand, Bee! I thought you'd get how much this hurts!"

My sisters glare at each other, a deep current of secrets tossing between them with a force that could drown us all.

"I do understand. I wasn't making a

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