Clarissa Harlowe, Samuel Richardson [black authors fiction .txt] 📗

I wanted to ask him an hundred thousand questions. But why delay I thus my messenger? I have a multitude of things to say to you⁠—to advise with you about!⁠—You shall direct me in everything. I will obey the holding up of your finger. But, if you leave me⁠—what is the world, or anything in it, to your

Anna Howe?

The effect this letter had on the lady, who is so near the end which the fair writer so much apprehends and deplores, obliged Mrs. Lovick to make many breaks in reading it, and many changes of voice.

This is a friend, said the divine lady, (taking the letter in her hand, and kissing it), worth wishing to live for.⁠—O my dear Anna Howe! how uninterruptedly sweet and noble has been our friendship!⁠—But we shall one day meet, (and this hope must comfort us both), never to part again! Then, divested of the shades of body, shall be all light and all mind!⁠—Then how unalloyed, how perfect, will be our friendship! Our love then will have one and the same adorable object, and we shall enjoy it and each other to all eternity!

She said, her dear friend was so earnest for a line or two, that she fain would write, if she could: and she tried⁠—but to no purpose. She could dictate, however, she believed; and desired Mrs. Lovick would take pen and paper. Which she did, and then she dictated to her. I would have withdrawn; but at her desire stayed.

She wandered a good deal at first. She took notice that she did. And when she got into a little train, not pleasing herself, she apologized to Mrs. Lovick for making her begin again and again; and said, that the third time should go, let it be as it would.

She dictated the farewell part without hesitation; and when she came to blessing and subscription, she took the pen, and dropping on her knees, supported by Mrs. Lovick, wrote the conclusion; but Mrs. Lovick was forced to guide her hand.

You will find the sense surprisingly entire, her weakness considered.

I made the messenger wait while I transcribed it. I have endeavoured to imitate the subscriptive part; and in the letter made pauses where, to the best of my remembrance, she paused. In nothing that relates to this admirable lady can I be too minute.

Wedn. Near Three o’clock.

My Dearest Miss Howe,

You must not be surprised⁠—nor grieved⁠—that Mrs. Lovick writes for me. Although I cannot obey you, and write with my pen, yet my heart writes by hers⁠—accept it so⁠—it is the nearest to obedience I can!

And now, what ought I to say? What can I say?⁠—But why should not you know the truth? since soon you must⁠—very soon.

Know then, and let your tears be those, if of pity, of joyful pity! for I permit you to shed a few, to embalm, as I may say, a fallen blossom⁠—know then, that the good doctor, and the pious clergyman, and the worthy apothecary, have just now⁠—with joint benedictions⁠—taken their last leave of me; and the former bids me hope⁠—do, my dearest, let me say hope⁠—hope for my enlargement before tomorrow sunset.

Adieu, therefore, my dearest friend!⁠—Be this your consolation, as it is mine, that in God’s good time we shall meet in a blessed eternity, never more to part!⁠—Once more, then, adieu!⁠—and be happy!⁠—Which a generous nature cannot be, unless⁠—to its power⁠—it makes others so too.

God forever bless you!⁠—prays, dropped on my bended knees, although supported upon them,

Your obliged, grateful, affectionate,

Cl. Harlowe.

When I had transcribed and sealed this letter, by her direction, I gave it to the messenger myself, who told me that Miss Howe waited for nothing but his return to set out for London.

Thy servant is just come; so I will close here. Thou art a merciless master. These two fellows are battered to death by thee, to use a female word; and all female words, though we are not sure of their derivation, have very significant meanings. I believe, in their hearts, they wish the angel in the Heaven that is ready to receive her, and thee at the proper place, that there might be an end of their flurries⁠—another word of the same gender.

What a letter hast thou sent me!⁠—Poor Lovelace!⁠—is all the answer I will return.

(Five o’clock).

Col. Morden is this moment arrived.

Letter 474 Mr. Belford

[In continuation]

Eight in the Evening

I had but just time, in my former, to tell you that Col. Morden was arrived. He was on horseback, attended by two servants, and alighted at the door just as the clock struck five. Mrs. Smith was then below in her back-shop, weeping, her husband with her, who was as much affected as she; Mrs. Lovick having left them a little before, in tears likewise; for they had been bemoaning one another; joining in opinion that the admirable lady would not live the night over. She had told them, it was her opinion too, from some numbnesses, which she called the forerunners of death, and from an increased inclination to doze.

The Colonel, as Mrs. Smith told me afterwards, asked with great impatience, the moment he alighted, how Miss Harlowe was? She answered⁠—Alive!⁠—but, she feared, drawing on apace.⁠—Good God! said he, with his hands and eyes lifted up, can I see her? My name is Morden. I have the honour to be nearly related to her.⁠—Step up, pray, and let her know, (she is sensible, I hope), that I am here⁠—Who is with her?

Nobody but her nurse, and Mrs. Lovick, a widow gentlewoman, who is as careful of her as if she were her mother.

And more careful too, interrupted he, or she is not careful at all⁠—

Except a gentleman be with her, one Mr. Belford, continued Mrs. Smith, who has been the best friend she has had.

If Mr. Belford be with her, surely I may⁠—but pray step up, and let Mr. Belford know that I shall take it for a favour to speak with him first.

Mrs. Smith came up to me in my