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id like to say im numb to the pain. you know what pain im talking about. the one where your chest feels like its closing in on itself, where you can barely breath due to your fight with tears, the one where it literally crumples you to the ground your hands shaking and water suddenly leaks from your eyeballs. thats the pain i thought i was immune too. thats the pain that i want to forget.

In the last year I was so unhappy and alone I nearly killed myself. I started having severe panic attacks and when I look back it makes me angry and sad at the same time because he didn’t do anything to put me out of my misery. He had so many chances to save us. Just grow some balls and hold my hand against everyone, his family, my family, the world… but he didn’t. He was a coward and a weak man and I never saw it for what it was until it was too late. I wasted years of my life with the wrong