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if you’re still here, I am going to go hunt up a crowbar.
Scene 4
Charlie: Hey kids. Nice to see you here, Jake.
Jacob: Hey Charlie.
Charlie: What’s wrong with her?
Jacob: She hit me.
Charlie: Why did she hit you?
Jacob: Because I kissed her.
Charlie: Good for you, kid.
Bella: Ugh.
(She dials Edward’s number)
Edward: Bella? You left the phone. I’m sorry, did Jacob drive you home?
Bella: Yes. Will you come and get me, please?
Edward: I’m on my way. What’s wrong?
Bella: I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it’s broken.
Edward: What happened?
Bella: I punched Jacob.
Edward: Good. Though I’m sorry you’re hurt.
Bella: I wish I’d hurt him. I didn’t do any damage at all.
Edward: I can fix that.
Bella: I was hoping you would say that.
Edward: That doesn’t sound like you. What did he do?
Bella: He kissed me.
(Back to other room)
Charlie: Maybe you ought to take off, Jake.
Jacob: I think I’ll hang here, if you don’t mind.
Charlie: Your funeral.
(Back to other room)
Edward: Is the dog still there?
Bella: Yes.
Edward: I’m around the corner.
Charlie: How’s your hand?
Bella: It’s swelling.
Charlie: Maybe you should pick on people your own size.
Bella: Maybe.
(Edward at the door)
Edward: Let me see. I think you’re right about the break. I’m proud of you. You must have put some force behind this.
Bella: As much as I have. Not enough, apparently.
Edward: I’ll take care of it. Jacob.
Charlie: Now, Now. I don’t want any fighting, do you understand? I can go put my badge on if that makes my request more official.
Edward: That won’t be necessary.
Bella: Why don’t you arrest me, Dad? I’m the one throwing punches.
Charlie: Do you want to press charges, Jake?
Jacob: No. I’ll take the trade any day.
Bella: Dad, don’t you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute.
Charlie: Enough, Bella.
Edward: Let’s go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell.
Bella: Fine.
Charlie: What are you doing? Are you crazy?
Jacob: Give me a minute, Charlie. Don’t worry, I’ll be right back.
Edward: I’m not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella.
Bella: Humph.
Edward: It would bother you in the morning. But if you ever bring her back with damages again, and I don’t care whose fault it is; I don’t care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky. If she is in less that the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?
Bella: Who’s going back?
Edward: And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her.
Jacob: What if she wants me to?
Bella: Hah!
Edward: If that’s what she wants, then I won’t object. You might want to wait for her to say it, rather that trust your interpretation of body language, but it’s your face.
Bella: You wish.
Edward: Yes, he does.
Jacob: Well, if you’re done rummaging through my head, why don’t you go take care of her hand?
Edward: One more thing. I’ll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I’m not taking anything for granted, and I’ll be fighting twice as hard as you will.
Jacob: Good. It’s no fun beating someone who forfeits.
Edward: She is mine. I didn’t say I would fight fair.
Jacob: Neither did I.
Edward: Best of luck.
Jacob: May the best…man win.
Edward: That sounds about right, pup.
Jacob: I hope your hand feels better soon. I’m really sorry you’re hurt.
Scene 5
Edward: How do you feel?
Bella: Irritated.
Edward: I meant your hand.
Bella: I’ve had worse.
Edward: True.
Emmett: Fall down again Bella.
Bella: No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face.
Rosalie: Jasper’s going to win the bet.
Bella: What bet?
Edward: Let’s get you to Carlisle.
Bella: What bet?
Edward: Thanks, Rosalie.
Bella: Edward?
Edward: It’s infantile. Emmett and Jasper like to gamble.
Bella: Emmett will tell me.
Edward: Huh. They’re betting on how many times you slip up in the first year.
Bella: Oh. They have a bet about how many people I’ll kill?
Edward: Yes. Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper’s favor.
Bella: Jasper’s betting high.
Edward: It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He’s tired of being the weakest link. You don’t need to worry about it now. In fact, you don’t have to worry about it ever, if you don’t want to.
Bella: Ugh.
Scene 6
Alice: Aren’t you going to open it? Pretty, don’t you think? I picked blue, because I know its Edward’s favorite on you?
Bella: It’s the same.
Alice: What is?
Bella: Listen, Alice. It’s the same! The one who broke in and stole my things, and the new vampires in Seattle. They’re together!
Alice: Why do you think that?
Bella: Remember what Edward said? About someone using the holes in your vision to keep you from seeing the newborns? And then what you said before, about the timing being too perfect. How careful my thief was to make no contact, as if he knew you would see that. I think you were right, Alice, I think he did know. I think he was using those holes, too. And what are the odds that two different people not only know enough about you to do that, but also decided to do it at exactly the same time? No way. It’s one person. The same one. The one who is making the army is the one who stole my scent.
Alice: You’re right. Of course you’re right. And when you put it that way…
Bella: Edward had it wrong. It was a test to see if it would work. He stole my scent so that others could find me.
Alice: Oh, no. If you think that one thing has changed, you’re absolutely wrong. Bye.
Bella: Bye.
Charlie: You look nice. Is that new?
Bella: Yeah. Alice gave it to me.
Edward: Are you all right?
Bella: Nervous.
Mr. Varner: Up front, Mr. Cullen.
Jessica: Hey, Bella! Down here, Bella! This is so amazing. I mean, it seems like we just met, and now we’re graduating together. Can you believe it’s over? I feel like screaming!
Bella: So do I.
Mr. Varner: Congratulations, Ms. Stanley. Congratulations, Ms. Swan.
Bella: Thanks.
Jessica: Oh, Bella. I can’t believe we’re done.
Bella: I’m so glad I know you, Jessica. It was a good two years.
Jessica: It was. Lauren!
Edward: Congratulations.
Bella: Um, thanks.
Edward: You don’t look like you’re over the nerves yet.
Bella: Not quite yet.
Edward: What’s left to worry about? The party? It won’t be that horrible.
Bella: You’re probably right.
Edward: Who are you looking for?
Bella: Alice. Where is she?
Edward: She ran out as soon as she got her diploma.
Bella: Worrying about Alice?
Edward: Er…
Bella: What was she thinking about anyway? To keep you out, I mean.
Edward: She was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on to Korean sign language.
Bella: I suppose that would keep her head busy enough.
Edward: You know what she’s hiding from me.
Bella: Sure. I’m the one who came up with it.
Edward: What are you talking about?
Bella: Just stay calm, okay? I think you’re wrong about things coming at us from one side, and I think it’s coming at me, really. It’s all connected, it has to be. It’s just one person who’s messing around with Alice’s visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It’s got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes. All of it goes together. My scent is for them. But no one’s coming for you, don’t you see? This is good. Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!
Charlie: Bella! Congratulations, baby!
Bella: Thanks.
Charlie: Jacob and Billy had to take off. Did you see that they were here?
Bella: Yeah. Heard them, too.
Charlie: We’re going to the Lodge tonight. Edward, you want to come?
Edward: No, thank you. If you’ll excuse me.
Charlie: What did I say?
Bella: Don’t worry about it, Dad. I don’t think it’s you.
Scene 7
Charlie: In a hurry?
Bella: I want to help Alice set up things.
Charlie: Okay.
(Edward appears in woods)
(They kiss)
Bella: How are you?
Edward: Not so great. But I’ve got a handle on myself. I’m sorry that I lost it back there.
Bella: My fault. I should have waited to tell you.
Edward: No. This is something I needed to know. I can’t believe I didn’t see it!
Bella: You’ve got a lot on your mind.
Edward: And you don’t?
(Edward kisses her again)
Edward: Charlie’s on his way.
Bella: I’ll have him drop me off at your house.
Edward: I’ll follow you there.
Bella: I don’t think that’s…
Charlie: Bella?
Bella: I’m out here.
(They arrive at the house of Edward’s)
Edward: Bella?
(He kisses her again and she feels the tension in it)
Bella: Let’s get this stupid party over with.
Edward: I won’t let anything happen to you.
Bella: I’m not worried about myself so much.
Edward: Why am I not surprised? Ready to celebrate?
Bella: Ugh. Unbelievable.
Edward: Alice will be Alice.
Alice: Edward! I need your advice. Should we give them familiar and comforting? Or educate their taste in music?
Edward: Keep it comforting. You can only lead the horse to water.
Alice: I think I’m underdressed.
Edward: You’re perfect.
Alice: You’ll do.
Bella: Thanks. Do you really think people will come?
Edward: Everyone will come. They’re all dying to see the inside of the reclusive Cullens’ mystery house.
Bella: Fabulous.
(Doorbell rings)
Edward: Stay here. I’ll be right back.
Bella: Excuse me for a minute, Jess. What Alice, what? What did you see?
Alice: Who invited the werewolf?
Bella: Guilty.
Alice: Well, you got take care of it, then. I have to talk to Carlisle.
Bella: No, Alice, wait. Damn it.
Scene 8
Jacob: Hey, Bella! Friendly reception.
Bella: What are you doing here?
Jacob: You invited me, remember?
Bella: In case my right hook was to subtle for you, let me translate: that was me uninviting you.
Jacob: Don’t be a poor sport. I brought you a graduation present and everything.
Bella: Take it back to the store, Jake. I’ve got to do something…
Jacob: I can’t take it back. I didn’t get it from the store. I made it myself. Took a really long time, too. Oh, c’mon, Bella. Don’t pretend like I’m not here!
Bella: I’m not. Look, Jake, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.
Jacob: Could I please have just a few seconds of your undivided attention, Ms. Swan?
Bella: Keep your hands to yourself, Jacob.
Jacob: Sorry! I really am sorry. About the other day, I mean, too. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. It was wrong. I guess…well, I guess I got deluded myself into thinking you wanted me to.
Bella: Deluded…What a perfect description!
Jacob: Be nice. You could accept my apology, you know.
Bella: Fine. Apology accepted. Now, if you’ll just excuse me for a moment…
Jacob: Okay. I guess you’d rather be with your real friends. I get it.
Bella: Aw, Jake, you know that’s not fair.
Jacob: Do I?
Bella: You should. Jake? Hey, you said you made me something, right? Was that just talk? Where’s my present? I’m waiting.
Jacob: Right.
Bella: Hey, that’s pretty, Jake. Thanks!
Jacob: The present is inside, Bella.
Bella: Oh.
Jacob:
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