Emmolient, James Bernard Myers [ebook and pdf reader TXT] 📗

EMOLLIENT
Something that softens and soothes
Balm, Salve
There is something that I have been missing in my life for a long time and I can tell you that it has been something that I have always wanted but never could receive it by request. I can tell you that something of this magnitude will excite me and delight me at the same time. It has been really eating away at me for such a long time now to the point that it has really bothered me to see what others have gotten over me. I am talking about wanting something so bad till you can’t think of nothing else. I have always been the type that whatever I want I will get and I do not want to say that I am spoiled because I am not, it is just that I have driven myself to believe that if you really want something then you should have it. I have never had anyone give me anything in life and I have always been the type to just go and get it myself and not wait for someone to give it to me. It is just like that song James Brown has written about ‘don’t give me nothing, just open the door and I’ll get it myself’. I am just like that and I will always be like this until my ship comes in. Have you ever been in a state to where that you have always wanted something but could never get it and you are not really satisfied until you get it. Well I can tell you that I am just like that. I have been trying to get to the other side for quite some time now and I have yet to get there. I will strive to get there no matter how long that it takes I will not give up. I want to so bad have a T-girl in my life, I really want to have a try at it and see how it works out. Because I have been so frustrated with the opposite sex till I’m just through with it for good and I really mean that to the point that I don’t really give a damn what others may think or say about it. I have been a bi-sexual for quite some time now and I have been going back and forth with my identity. I have had this identity crisis for a long time. Sometimes I think that I want to be a woman and sometimes I just want to be a man, so what better way to go out and be both if know what I mean. But I know that this is totally against what God wants from us. I have asked God on several occasions to just let me have what I want. I see others that have what they want and they seem to be happy for the time but why can’t I get what I want. I s God trying to tell me that this is not what I want you to do and not what I want you to be, but if this is the “Case for Christ” then I do not really understand it. I know that I have not been the best that I can be and I know that I have done some things that has really upset God and I am really sorry for what I have done in my life, but I thought that when I chose something that He would not interfere with what I have chosen to do. I know that He is the one that can soothe and soften the things in my life and really give me a peace of mind, but He is not giving me that right now. The Bible tells us that we should try him and I have tried that and I have not been successful at it and now I am wanting to try something else. A woman really has been my nemesis and my reason for wanting to go to the other side. I know that there is one that is out there for me, it is to late for that now. I am now just fucking through with them bitches and I do not want to be involved with them anymore. I have tried to love them and give them what they want, but at the end I am the one that gets hurt. I do not want to say that I hate them but I do not want to get involved with them to the point of being not sexually involved with them and to the point of being in a real deep relationship. I feel that I can have a man to make me feel good. It is just like when a woman knows how a woman should feel, I think the same as a man should know how a man should feel. That is why I really want to have a man in my life to make me feel the way that I have wanted to feel for so long. I tried God and I tried His Son, so I ’m doing the next best thing and I will not rest until I find it and I won’t stop running until I catch up with what is ahead of me. This is just my story and I hope that you have what you want and have what you desire, but I am just so fucking wanting it right now till I’m just ready. I just can’t think of nothing else but that. So I hope that you have all that you need in life including God. I’m gonna try to give you some points and then we are gonna shout and be out of here. I hope that you don’t miss you shout que and I hope that you really find what you are searching for, and if you have that then you don’t need anything else. First is that when you come to a point in your life when you want something then ask God if this is what He wants you to have and just pray for it. Second, when you get that answer from him Just be sure that it is the voice of God that you have heard and not the voice of the enemy. Thirdly, when you get that second answer from God then just go after it and just hold on to it and take ownership. We have to learn that once that we have received something from him then we have to go and put our mark on it as he has put his mark on us. Know that it is yours and yours only. You know what you have heard all your life is ‘what God has for you, it is for you’. So go in the peace of God and his purpose for you and live a life fulfilling. Don’t ever be afraid of what is ahead of you. Don’t ever be afraid to go out and get what you want. Don’t’ ever be afraid to try something different. Don’t ever be afraid to walk on a different side. Don’t ever be afraid of being afraid. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.


LOVE, PEACE, AND POWER

SMOOVE B…………

Publication Date: 07-11-2010

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