Caffein, Nicotine, and Vasoline, Mia Hernandez [best beach reads of all time txt] 📗

Where's My Winter Wonderland?

Winter is already a scarce season
We have lost our wonderland to heat
No more snow dances onto our cars
Christmas seems naked more and more
Now that we can see the color of the trees
Our sleds are being coated in dust every year
Cob webs entrap our snowman buttons
We actually have to eat our carrots now
Carols just do not seem right without snow
I miss watching the little kids outside
When they would put a hat on a snowman
Thinking it would turn into Frosty
I have never seen so many gloomy faces
During such a huge Holiday Season
I guess the weather forgot about happiness

This Guy Again

Once again I am writing a poem about some guy.
It’s the same kind that always makes me cry
That one that never knows how to stay sweet
Never the guy who is the same as when we first meet
Always the one who knows nothing other than a lie
Only the kind that takes me off my own two feet
Empty promises flow out of the stereo type’s vocabulary
As if he had his own personal dictionary
Entrapment is yet another redundant emotion
No escape route this time for the commotion,
A one sided war still seeming revolutionary
How can someone call imprisonment ‘devotion’?
It always started out a good relationship, barely strange
Turning into someone I thought would soon change
Taking time out of my life to devote to his needs
Always my own energy is on what he feeds
Until I am left cold, exhausted, and deranged
Once again, I am with one of those type of breeds.

The Perfect Suicide

The first inhale almost relieves the pain
Until you go for a second, and it drives you insane
You watch as the air fills with your foggy exhale
With no idea what the next one might make your mind entail
Almost never does the real problem cross your mind
You just know that this is your perfect suicide
No one will ever know what is truly in your thoughts
You have no need for notes, accessories, or plots
Its a flawless and socially acceptable crime
No investigations for an unexpected death find
Your partner in crime always seems to be your phone
Because the perfect suicide is worst done alone

Third Party

A push and a shove here and there
He needs to leave! I don't care where.
When he walked out the door he causes a scene
He only returns to degrade and scream
Those terrifying eyes no one ever forgets
Especially when he has a toungue full of threats
He is told to leave. Just say 'Bye"
When he decides he is not wrong, it's time to cry
Why does he have to lie and hide?
Sh! The boy is awake, right ouside
Up until dawn trying to make it stop
Too scared to stand up or call the cops
In the morning he expects a routine kiss
Why must i watch my mother go through this?

Always That One

NO matter what he is always on your lonely mind
It seems when your talking to him, it stops time
He's been the one you run to about a bad relationship
Never thought you'd escape from just friendship
Instead of realizing the truth you run for another DUD
Always asking advice from your perfect bud
He's always the one who was straight forward and true
The one who's been there day after day for you
By the time you open your eyes, it's too late
After all the great times, he still had to wait
You know he belongs to someone else now
You try so hard to come back, but don't know how
SPending all day trying to get his smile out of your head
But you know he's stuck in your thoughts when you lay in bed
Denial only helps for its three syllables
His hugs make life so liveable
When it comes to his voice, you can never have enough
That's how you know friends can always fall madly in love

Fright Maze

Why do you treat me so?
Can i get any lower? I'm already low!
I remember the good days!
Where is the sweet you i used to know?
All you do now is cheat and lie
All i do is worry and cry
My hear has been demolished!
I can never give up! i have to try
Who is this pill popper?
You're making me crazy! 'Stop Her!'
I feel as if I'M dieing or want to be dead
With all these bruises and scars, i never look proper
Is someone getting the best of you?
But i still hear the same 'sweetie','Hun', and 'Boo'
Why the ignorance?
I get all this abuse! What to do...
I feel like I'm on your cues
What's my purpose? My use?
I'm nothing but your toy, your plaything
(Fright Maze Cont'd)

Now! I stand up! You must choose
quit your terrible ways,
become you from the old days
or lose your barbie doll, your robot
because I am tired of this 'Love' maze!
I never know when I'll run into trouble
After you're through, seeing double
Not scared anymore
I've transformed into a cliff! From that pebble

Mr. Forbidden

I catch his gorgeous eyes with mine
He smiles. is that possibly a sign
That my dreams have come true
And finally my hard work has pulled though?
I received his name. he likes me its proven!
Someone, though, does not approve. Mr. Right has Become
Mr. Forbidden
Sneaking quick sly glances
I am just dying to have him! i have no chances
To get him alone. its what i need!
'I'm not in puppy love!' i plead
My love is shot and my heart is broken
But the old man has already spoken
Before he leaves i need to drop an impression
Why cant i make my own decisions?
He has spoken, as i have written
I must have Mr. Forbidden


Confusion

Which way is my head going?
It seems to be a different path than my heart
I know I want what's best for me
But i keep falling back into my addictions
Maybe one day i won't be a liar
I will go through with my word when I say enough
How can i keep doing this to my mother?
I can't keep it up too much longer
Finally a life came into mine for more initiative
But who's to say I will follow up on my word if he leaves?
Some year, day, or month it will be for myself
I am better than them
So why do they seem like a huge attachment?
Am I addicted to something that's not consumable?
Why am I REALLY so defensive of their ways?
I know they are wrong and stupid
And here I am trying to succeed
But every time I get somewhere, my feet slip again
I know better! I deserve better!
Why am I settling for these...Kids?
(Confusion Cont'd)

I may 'fit it' but I am nothing like them
My goals don't include an 'ounce' or 'roll'
They include life and love
My impatience is getting the best of me
Is a clean canvas really the answer?
Why can't I just solve the puzzle?
I have all the answers right in front of me
But that somehow seems like cheating
If i want to move up, I can't 'deal' with less
Nothing scares me anymore, but yet
Nightmares run my sleep and day dreams
No one ever 'learns' No one has every answer
So why are parents always right?
It seems like they just want to ruin our lives
But with that thought in mind we ruin it ourselves
I wish I would have listened four years ago
When I still had a chance
Now my struggles are my own problems
Every mistake counts against me
That counter is not infinite
(Confusion Cont'd)

One day it will reach its limit
Where will I be then?
That is one question I never want answered
Hopefully that year, day, or month
My mind is converted and it's not too late
No matter what money or possessions I own
I could never afford to love my life
Especially over stupid teenage phases
What would my mother think?
I know her ideas and trust for me couldn't plummet much more
But I really don't want to see the bottom

Publication Date: 01-25-2010

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