Winter Break, ElshaHawk [top ebook reader TXT] 📗

Winter Break

The best part about winter
Is coming soon

A break from the pressures
Of high school

No more scrutiny
Every day

No more papers due
Or tests to take

School is a horrid place
Full of woe

Eyes are always on me
Head to toe

Hands of the clock, Move!
I command

Can’t make time go faster
Staring at the big hand

Not hearing a word
Teacher utters

Oblivious to passed notes
And student mutters

Pitched forward in my seat
Ring bell ring

Gripping the edges of my books
Chime bell, Ding!

Finally, it blares, like a starting pistol
I bolt

Hit the halls, moving fast
Revolt

Spin the dial, grab the bag
Slam

Outside I can breathe
Bedlam

Students flee, fan out
Escape

Someone one calls my name
“Hey Kate”


Cold

I tried to avoid their
Eyes
But the whole group
Stared
I ducked my head
Low
And hurried past

They scowled at me
Haters
Because I had spoken
Out
For this little Emo girl
Innocent
Just different and picked on

I’m getting the cold shoulder
Now
No one has talked to me
All week
And I don’t need these
Friends
I’d rather find nicer people

“Kate, over here!” Calls out
Again
A girl waves from her car
Smiling
My new dark haired friend
Emo
Who is much nicer to me


Snow

Soft flakes gather and begin to stick
I think about how it will look
Later in the mountains
Out at the cabin in the hills

We spend Christmas skiing
My whole family goes
And the snow is so deep
It makes everything quiet

I need the silence
To cover over me
Just like I needed
Emily’s friendship

To cushion the fall
From the high pedestal
My old friends are still on
Looking down at me

I’m happy for the break
Away from my life
Time to soothe my frayed nerves
And find myself outside of those doors

The snow doesn’t care
It covers everything equally
Erases inequalities
Makes things the same

Sometimes you need to start over
Like spring after the melting snow
But first you must erase the mess
With all that white


White

I push through the door
The warm air of home
Rushes around me
Welcomes me in a hug
Breathe a sigh of relief
Home is safe, comforting
I am the real me here
I can start the day over
Erase the girl with the perfect
Clothes, hair, and smile
Bathe myself in the things I love
I come clean, taking off the mask
I am washed white
No marks on me
Put there by the scorn
And words of others
Sometimes words do hurt
They mar my view of myself
Coloring my soul in shades
Of darkest shadow
But here I can relax
The shadows are chased away
By the warm light of home
Until my soul is white


Scarves

The Mall bustles with holiday shoppers
I need a new scarf to match my new coat
I happily try a few styles on
Looking in the mirror

Behind me people pass
Reflections of themselves
But I am me now,
Not who I was

A grandmother passes
Two small girls in hand
They skip, tugging her along
And I smile

Behind them moves a young man
Hands tucked in coat pockets
Headed the opposite direction
Casually, calmly, comfortable in his skin

I admire him
Not only his stride
But as he turns,
His handsome face

I find myself holding my breath
My cheeks blush in the mirror
And I turn to see him for real
As if his mirror image lies

He sees me, with my scarf
It matches my eyes
I can’t help but grin and lower them
I turn away from this moment

Then he is beside me
“Hello, I’m Vic.”
“Kate.” I can’t believe myself!
“Nice scarf.”

“Thanks. I’m going skiing.”
“Really? Around here?”
“Lake Blue Moon”
“Really? Maybe I’ll see you there”


Coats

My ex-friends all wear coats
Of varnish over their persons
They lacquer on their smiles
And pretend they are perfect

But Vic didn’t seem to do that
Even though talking to him was easy
Which made me wonder
If he was real or hidden under a coat of varnish

I walked with him to the food court
Smiling and chatting
Sweating and blushing
My heart was fluttering

I took off my coat
And I saw them
The old clique
Sitting at a table looking at me

Would they come over
And ruin this impromptu date?

They grabbed their coats
Throwing away their food
As if I ruined their appetite
And walked past me, noses up

Kristy shoved me
Into Vic
I stumbled
He caught me

“Hey!” he called out
They stalked off
Their varnish at high sheen
His words reflecting off their coats

He saw me duck my head
I didn’t respond
I didn’t deserve their hate
He knew I had fallen

“I gotta go.”
My eyes spoke apologies
For my lowly position
“No, stay.”


Gloves

My ex friends turned at his “Hey”
Ready to fight
The gloves were off
I couldn’t believe my eyes

They stared him down
Eyes full of scorn
Hands went to hips
Frowns were worn

“What’s your deal?”
He confronted
They saw his face
And looked affronted

“Say you’re sorry”
He commanded
They scowled at me
Our group disbanded

It was but a tiny victory
I had the hunk
They couldn’t admit defeat
Their attitudes stunk

“You didn’t have to..”
I began
“You’re better than them.”
My heart swam

But I had to leave the Mall
To soon
I wondered if I’ll see him
On lake Blue Moon

I shouldn’t have let him
Fight for me
In hindsight it made
Me look weak

My head was confused
What did he think?
Did he like protecting me?
I needed a shrink





Red Cheeks

There’s only so much family
I can take in one vacation
I need to ration them out
So I hit the slopes
Swish, swoosh, stop

Skiers like gulls
Fly side to side
Dip behind hills
Appear over the crests

Watch the other skiers
Smaller and smaller
The lift nears the top
Slide from the seat
Swish, swoosh crash!

Acrobatic moves keep me upright
Someone looked up at me
A red nose under goggles
Eyes belong to Vic!

“Excuse me, my apologies”
“Oh hello Kate”
He remembered my name!
“Fancy meeting you here”

My cheeks grew red
Not from the wind
“Would you ski with me?”
We were like gulls

My nose grew red
Redder than my cheeks
The wind did not burn them
As much as my heart for him




Steam Dry

The resort fireplace is huge
Logs crackle in the flames
Heat radiates outward
Melting snow from gloves and boots

I sit across from Vic
His eyes are dreamy
I swim in them as he speaks
Giggling at the right times

My face full of light
Heart radiating outward
Floating in my chair
Melting into my shoes

As the moisture warmed
Evaporating from our clothes
We warmed to each other
Pheromones riding the steam

Our cabins were opposites
On each end of the long road
But even far apart
We never felt closer

Dry, cozy, warm in bed
The same stars twinkled
Over his head and mine
Bringing me sweet dreams


Furnace

I found him in the resort
Snowboard in hand
Decided I could try a lesson
Unafraid to crash land

With Vic as my teacher
I’d be light on my feet
His hand in mine
Even falling would be sweet

I fell into his arms
Not one time but a few
Each time wishing madly
He would get a clue

I wanted desperately to kiss him
To feel his lips on mine
Wanted desperately to hold him
His chiseled body so fine!

I burned with passion and desire
Never feeling the chill
On those slopes we spent hours
Never succumbing to lust’s will

It was a time of testing
Fine tuning to each other
Walking through the flames
A fire between one another





Log Cabin

I eat dinner in my cabin
Daydreaming over my peas
Parents catching on
Beginning to tease

“Who is he?” asks Mom
“A guy” I reply
“What’s his name?” asks Dad
“Vic” I flush tongue-tied

Excusing myself
For a moment of peace
Chill air on my hot cheeks
Body wrapped in fleece

I consider hiking down
To a cabin number I know
Gives me goosebumps just thinking it
Fresh prints in the snow

Warm yellow light spills out
From the merriment inside
On tiptoe I peer in
Spying the scene, I could have died

Vic sits beside
A drop dead gorgeous girl
Whom he tickles and charms
Sharing hugs, makes me hurl

My insides went cold
Then numb and sad
Tears ran down freely
Never again to be glad


Skiing

My emotions went downhill
They fell so fast
Like the diamond coarse
I’d saved for last

The deadliest slope
Would welcome my tumble
As I plummet and drop
Heart in a crumble

Throwing myself
Into the wind
Muffling my cries
Tears freezing to my chin

I want to go home
I declare at the door
Surprised, my parents’ eyes
Take to the floor

They know my heart is broken
My door is slammed shut
Bed creaks with my weight
My sobs stifled somewhat

Sleep comes slowly
But red eyed I wake
Still in my scarf
Still at the lake


Ice

Today
I don’t want
Anyone
To speak
To me
Not even
Strangers
Or waitresses
And especially
Not
Family
Friends
Or
Him

So I
Refuse to
Speak
To anyone
Or look
At them
Either

Because
If I do
I might cry
Again


Hot Cocoa

Steaming cup
Warms the hands
Then the nose
And finally the soul

I took my troubles
To a table I knew well
A silent ear waits
For me to spill

Soft hands envelop
Her own mug of warmth

Wisdom peers through
Her bespectacled eyes

She waits, the wisps of steam
Drifting up before her face
Disappearing in her white wispy hair
Knowing I will tell it all

After I spill, I wait for her

She digests the drama
Along with the hot drink

Sitting back, saying “Hm”
But she pats my hand
Says, “You know what is right.”

And I breathe a huge sigh
“I know loneliness hurts”
She peers in my eyes

“But it makes togetherness
That much sweeter.”

She is so wise!


Melt

At dinner that night
He comes in to eat
With his family
And that girl

I ignore him
When I go to the restroom
And I know he’s watching
Confused

As I leave the room
He’s at the door
“What’s wrong?”
He asks about my coldness

“Who’s she?” I say
In so many words
He sighs and smiles
“She’s my cousin”

My face