Poetry Collection, Ashes To Ashes [books under 200 pages txt] 📗

Feelings

Anger, frustrated, mad, insane

Totally different words

But they all mean the same.

 

Happiness, glee, excited, upbeat

Each of a different degree

But when simplified it's the same meaning they meet.

 

Sad, depressed, nervous, incompetance

A wide range of instability

But each of their own importance.

 

Feelings may not be simple, 

They may have a varying degree,

But each create their own ripple.

 

My heart, my brain, my arm, my gut

They make up who I am

But without my feelings my heart wouldn't be worth more than my butt.

 

Isn't that what society is about these days?

The next piece of ass

Instead of how the children are raised.

 

My feelings, my opinions, my thought.

They're as unique as they come,

Not something to be bought.

 

My boobs, my thighs, my hair, my ass

Can all be replicated because

People want the swag instead of class.

 

A world where a snapback means you're cool

Where a female can show everything only to be called a slut

Be yet, to the animals, we've only been cruel.

 

I notice the pain, the sorrow, the tears, the hate

My only response is to run and hide, to get away

Before the next troll posts their bait.

 

I'm a teen but I have been exposed,

To everything from cats burning to leaked nudes,

What kind of world is it when I only have the eyes of a fifteen year old.

 

Feelings are to be shamed

"You're just thirsty, desperate, and pathetic"

Since when could females not be complimented?

 

Instead of women, we have "Bitches"

Bad bitches, good bitches, or crazy bitches

We allowed boys to demoralize us with this.

 

I hear the word feminism and laugh to the point of crying

The one thing that should be good in the world

Has lost all of it's meaning.

 

Men can't hit, but can't be nice

Because that means they're overpowering us..

Ever think maybe because it's right?

 

Fight for men and women equally

And not for the right to dye your arm pit hair and be fat

The world has more important issues than you eating.

 

Such as the romanticism of evil things

Dying, cutting, suicide, and mental disorders are not "cute" or "adorable"

Sorrow, pain, and illness is all they bring.

 

Feelings, they're tricky

But I'll tell you one thing,

No one said living in this world would be easy.

 

~Ashes To Ashes~

Hope

A smile on your lips,

Gives me hope.

Being by your side,

Gives me hope.

Catching the butterflies,

Gives me hope.

Dreaming of your face,

Gives me hope.

Every kiss,

Gives me hope.

Falling in love with you,

Gives me hope.

Getting your attention,

Gives me hope.

Holding your hands,

Gives me hope.

Including me,

Gives me hope.

Just being close,

Gives me hope.

Keeping all of our souvenirs,

Gives me hope.

Letting me in,

Gives me hope.

Minding my feelings,

Gives me hope.

Never letting me be angry,

Gives me hope.

Only leaving because you have to,

Gives me hope.

Picking me up when I fall,

Gives me hope.

Quickly coming to my aid,

Gives me hope.

Reading my facial expressions,

Gives me hope.

Stealing my breath,

Gives me hope.

Taking my heart,

Gives me hope.

Undermining the rules,

Gives me hope.

Very indirect love posts,

Gives me hope.

Wearing my heart above yours,

Gives me hope.

Xeronisus going away,

Gives me hope.

Your whole being,

Gives me hope.

Zacretes coming together,

Gives me hope.

 

~Ashes To Ashes~

Society

 Hearing the word 'society'

What pops up in your mind?

For me it's undefined beauty

And unspoken talent.

I look not for the negative,

There are plenty of people for that.

But yet for the positive,

So I may find some sense of security.

Having safety in the world we live in,

Whether for yourself or your family,

Fills all the important gaps people dig.

Always look for the safer option.

I mean this for everything and everyone

The job you take, the spouse you choose,

Being so sure you chose the right one,

Society really pushes for this.

 

-Ashes To Ashes-

Messiness

 I am messy

But not in the way you think

My room is clean

My clothes are hanged

And my homework is nearly done

My messiness is different

I can't clean up this 'mess'

Not without twenty-three pills

And three doctors

My messiness is in my mind

A thunderstorm you can't predict

A hurricane without alarms

A valcano that's silent

An earthquake that shakes only me

I am messy

But not in the way you think

I keep silent

No one can tell through my opptimistic-side

My ambitious-side

My please-everyone-else-side, no

My messiness is contained

All I see is skinny

A place to cry in the halls

A place to never belong

A place to weep for the bell

A place to hear a bunch of adults pretend to care

A place...

To be misunderstood

I am messy

But not in the way you think

My scars, my past, my arms

They've all been hidden so well

You wouldn't understand

No one ever has

My strength is my own

My knowledge is my strength

My power is my knowledge

My friends know my power

My enemies are my closest friends

The more I care

The more messy I become

This messiness is more than my control

I am messy

But not in the way you think

My whole life has been a struggle

It's been something so painful

So dreadful

So broken

So demanding

So decietful

And so damn dysfunctional

You can't look into my eyes and not see sorrow

My heart, my love, my soul

They were all so broken and distraught

Confusion, pain, and misery

They're my usual conflictions

I am messy

But not in the way you think

You see

You sit here and judge

You sit here and ignore

You sit here and romanticize

This is not romantic

I am not an angel going home

Or a "cutie who needs someone to fix them"

I am a teenage girl

I am someone in need of help

Don't sit there and act like this is okay

Don't sit there and shift your eyes away

I am messy

But not in the way you think

Imagine being me

An abused body

A silent cryer

A smiley girl

A loving daughter

But a broken soul

I, am messy

As messy as can be

I. Am. Messy.

The messiest I have ever been

Open my closet 

Push back my clothes

Open my closet 

You'll be surprised at what you'll find

The next time you open that door

My clothes will no longer be in the way

No

Instead it will be who will be hanged

Open your closet

And fill it to the brim

Never let me open it

And find you within

 

I am messy

But not in the way you think

My room is clean

My body is hung

And my homework?

I promise, Ms. Smith, my homework is done.

 

~Ashes To Ashes~

Judgement

 I was frozen in fear

When I saw that you were no longer here

I opened my wounds

Thinking I could trust you

Suddenly all our words were nothing

All because you were too busy judging

Why?

Why would you leave without a goodbye

Now that you've gone, you've left me bent

All because of your judgement

One that I don't need

One that's just mean

So listen, and listen close

This door to my heart will remain forever closed.

 

~Ashes To Ashes~

Broken

 I hung on every word

Hoping it was me you meant

As I listened more

I heard her name

My heart stuttered

My words shattered

I felt it slowly at first

The breaking taking place

Tears crashed to the floor

My hands fell to my sides

This was it

I.

Was.

Broken.

 

~Ashes To Ashes~

Love

 The feeling of happiness,

The feeling of butterflies,

It all suddenly dies.

You no longer feel those lovey feelings.

Those "you complete me" moments.

Instead you feel like you're in fragments.

But that's not the end, no,

When it's over you'll be left alone.

You won't ever want another.

You'll think, "Why even bother?"

If they don't care,

Why should I?

The moment you feel it going great.

They'll leave you with a solid goodbye.

And you'll just bury your head into a pillow,

Wishing you could just die.

You'll think you're better,

That you're getting stronger,

But then you'll realize,

You're drowning in liquor.

Your mind is going numb,

And your heart is growing weak,

But you don't take notice,

Because you feel you're above this.

But you're not.

No, you're turning into a robot.

Love isn't real,

Hate and love are a packaged deal.

Don't freeze your feelings,

Instead thaw the good ones.

The happiness.

The excitement.

Don't you see?

There's a whole 'nother world.

Just open your eyes and see.

Open your eyes.

 

~Ashes To Ashes~