Feel The Impulse, August Nexus [reading diary TXT] 📗

Ten things i live for...

 

 Scars on a paper, stars in the sky
Two things that make me cry
Crying is the most relishful feeling
These are the two things which bring tears of joy.

 

Drops of rain and Dew on grass
Two things which sooth me as I pass
They sooth my soul and rejoice my heart
These are the true colours on my life’s canvas.

 

Lines from a verse, Quotes from a book
Two things which I never overlook
They are my breaths going in and out
And I flow with them like a twig in a brook.

 

Strange places, Dark and narrow alleys
I prefer them over a beautiful valley
I don’t need people, rather I would escape
These two things feel like life, really!!

 

A good cup of coffee, a book to read
These two things bring all happiness I need
Two thing which i love more than me
If I am a stoner than its my weed.

 

My life gets summed up in these 10 things
Get me all these and see the joy they bring
I know I’m strange but its who I’m
I’m a small bird with a song to sing.

 

I am not any other girl
You can’t win me with a pearl
If you really want me to be yours
Bring me all these, I’ll be your caged merle.

 

If you are one, who love the things above
Then we're bonded for life, by those above
I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine
Nothing will come between us except love.

 

But.. I know there's no one made for me
Its only about me, there's no us or we
No no reader, its not your fault
Neither you’re forced to love me.

 

Life is like those scars on a palm
The crisscross pattern that causes all harm
I’m alone but I am still happy
I have these 10 things which keep me warm.
                                                              - Sudhansh Sharma

Dear Mom

 

A letter to mom (fictional poem)

 

Dear mom,
I know you are sad,
Probably wondering why I did that.
I know it feels bad,
To see your daughter lying like that.

 

But trust me mom,
I was completely broken.
There was no one to speak to
My world was shaken.

 

No no mom its actually not your fault,
It all just happened by default.
I know its hard time for you
But I want to tell you, i loved you.

 

I know I am no more
And I know I don't exist
But I am always your daughter
You will always be my mom.

 

The problem was with our relationship,
It was hopeless and not so strong
You never told me
That you were along.

 

This mother's day, I want to appeal
To all the mothers out there, please
 try to know how your children feel
Let there secrets no more be in a veil.
                            love you
                                your daughter......

                                    

 

                                                      - Sudhansh Sharma

 

Random verses

Whenever I die, Just let me cry

But when we die, tears go dry

You can't live forever, how hard you try

You can't die, 'cause life is going by

What to do then, when there's pain

You want to go cold,but blood is hot in veins

You want to get wet, but there are no rains

when you are happy, but worries do come

When you are driving up, but the lane is going down

Be calm and courageous in such times

Try to fight off the bad things but don't frown

You are the king of your world, though there's no crown

Remember there are people, who love you the most

Remember there are people, who need you the most

Remember you are not worthless,

you have a dream to fulfill

Don't let your masts waver,

unless you achieve that thing

Always remember that life is beautiful,

there's always a new day

Death is not an option,

suicide should not be thought of

even for a single day......

                                                         - Sudhansh Sharma

Loss

I was sixteen, when it came to me
I never tried to, but now I loved to be
It was a feeling, I wanted to devour
It was a proof of our love hour.

 

I was still sixteen, when I loved him last
I was not prepared, but I was happy at last
My body felt ached, but my soul relieved
Those moments of love, were the best I’ve lived.

 

Slowly and gradually, it started to grow
I knew it’s there, moving as she grew
Then came that time, I waited for
It was going to happen, what I waited for.

 

It took an hour, and all was over
I was waiting for a cry, as she came over
But everyone went silent, or I went deaf
But instead of it, she was born dead.

 

I was only sixteen, when it came to me
I was a mother but can’t claim to be
His father (my love), sadly looked at me
His look was soothing, though it hurt me.

 

I am twenty one, a grown up now
We are married for 2 years, he kept his vow
Slowly and gradually, it is again growing
I can feel it inside me, kicking and moving.

 

I will for sure, regain my motherhood
I will for sure, regain all that’s good
But what I lost then, was not only my first child
I also lost then, love for the father of this child.

                                           - Sudhansh Sharma

The last Thoughts

See it’s oozing out, it is sweet--this pain
Ah! It hurts, says my brain
But my heart, it is running fast
At a pace unimaginable, to shut at last.

 

See the floor, its growing scarlet
Oh I love it, this colour of lilette
I am looking at myself in a mirror
I am beautiful, but pale in terror.

 

Do you want to see me? Come closer
See my long black hairs, strangled together
Look at my black dress, it hides me better
Look at my face, a pale and dried flower.

 

Close your eyes, if you want to see more
Can you see those strands, there are many more
These colourful filaments, strangled in dark
They are the traces, of my hidden scars.

 

I am shivering now, a little more cold
I want to let go, but there’s more to hold
Hey, I remember, last time you kissed me
I do remember the days, when you loved me.

 

See there in the corner, my heart is lying

see it is bleeding, but not much crying

You have to come closer, to see my pain

Its all about emotion, and involves no brain.

 

'I love You' once again I say

'I forgive you' even if you dont stay

It is not easy to let go of you

but I can't compell you, to love me at bay.

 

I won't have done this, but there was no way out

I won't have hurt me, but can't bear this anymore

These walls haunt me, those memories scream

I saw you kissing me, in every dream.

 

The clock is ticking, time is passing by
In a minute or two, I’ll be a free bird in sky
Love you mom, and dad I’ll miss you
I am sorry friend, I will always remember you.

 

 

 I will miss you, love you forever

I never asked you, but its high time

'Have you ever loved me?', don't lie - its a crime

I know you will never answer, as you are yourself a lie.

 

Ok! It is time now, let’s say those words
Good bye friends, foes and others
Readers! Now pay attention,and hold your breath
While you read this, I have bled to death.

                                     - Sudhansh Sharma

Hunger

 There was a sparkling in his eyes
He saw it as if he has got a treasure
He was looking happy beyond measure
‘Oh God thank you’, said he with tears in eyes

 

He then saw it again,
‘It is real’, he told his brain
‘I will tell mom’, he thought
‘She will be happy to see, what I brought’

 

At home his mother was sitting Idol
The thoughts in her mind, were suicidal
She was thinking about, the old good days
“Oh God help us” said she Everytime she prays

 

‘Let's go home’ thought the little boy
He started to walk, small steps of joy
‘we will sleep well today’ thought he
‘I’ve got some food after 2 days’

 

The small boy walked slowly, with a plate in hand
The plate had food, scarce in land
Food in the plate, was enough for him
The boy thought, Its enough for two.