Maybe she will be back, Gracie Eileen [books recommended by bts .txt] 📗

A girl like me

The train shakes
like a million snakes are replacing wheels
to bring me to
the rest of my life
and away from all that scorned my dreams
Hah.
The art institute of Chicago.
That shows those who
said to be an artist
was too big of a dream for a girl like me
Girl like me.
What exactly is that?
I would ask
People would glance down and away
A girl who was beaten
starved
poor
Yes, maybe it was too big of a dream for a girl like me
but not impossible


Every Saturday Morning

Every saturday morning
Father would leave
expecting the house to be clean
when he returned
Mom
would get the old radio
the one that hardly worked
and blast
the only station that came
we would make up the lyrics
and dance
once
he came home early
and taught us all a lesson
Beth had a black eye
and Mom a broken rib
all i got was a bruise
we never
danced
and sang
again.


Not like us

Pretty scenery.
From Pontiac to Chicago
Mostly tree's
getting ready to die off in september
but its comforting that they will always be back
not like Susan
not like Beth
not like the rest of the world


Make Believe We are not Us

Beth used to play make beleive with me
She would start by telling me about some far off place
Like India
and I would make it about Indian princess's
with riches beyond beleif and loving parents
A mother with a missing toe
who would always love her
and make her safe
and a father
who would take the time to play with her
even though he had a country to run
Why a missing toe?
Beth would ask
and everytime I would say
I don't know


Cant get me here

I see the campus
its beautiful
full of people
expecting to become artists mostly
all the other freshmans
look exited
and elated
but all i can think
is they cant get me here
Father cant get me here
Mother is unable
and Beth wont


Stories

Sometimes
Mom would tell me stories
about her and Father
when they were young
before he became what he is
whatever
that may be
about how
he would take her to the movies
Movies
they were like a far off tale
to me and Beth
something that we only heard about
but had never seen
maybe now i can see movies
but after every story
i would ask
if he would ever do it again
and Mom would look sad for a minute
and reply
No sweetie, i dont think he will


Cheap

They take us on a tour
this place is amazing
its huge
makes me wonder
how much money
one would pay to get here
I got it all free
does that make me cheap?
An outcast?
If i was, it would make no difference
I always am


Always said

Once Beth left
when she turned 18
Mom and I
would dream
about what her life was like now
until she called
on the one phone we had
and told us, she would come home
for the weekend
to see us
and take us away
but she always called back
with and excuse
for not coming
and after a while
we stopped hoping
and continued
as if she never left
but she always said
she would come


She called

I have been here for Months
I love it
I am happy
Its as simple as that
Snow is on the ground
and I have friends
but today
Beth called
and I can't help but hope
she will come
Like she says


I can't

Once I asked Mom
Why she didn't just leave
Why she didn't just take me away
it would be easier
without Beth now
Why she would stay trapped
confined by the same misery
that kept her alive
Her response was only
I Can't
That is when I began to hate my Mother.


Love, or Foolishness

I met someone
someone who makes me smile
who makes me forget
how Beth wont come
and everytime
i come near him
I cant help but smile
Is this how love is supposed to be?
Or am I a fool?


Lost it all

The day he touched me
Father that is
was the day I lost all hope
that was the day I died


This is the Day

This is the day
I come back
like I thought Beth never would
This is the day
I smile because I am happy of my own accord
this is the day I feel the air
this is the day that Beth came to visit
and I think
I have hope for myself
to Suceed.

Publication Date: 08-15-2010

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