Thoughts From Within, Melissa Webb [i have read the book .txt] 📗

Table Of Contents


The Power Of My Addiction
The World Around Me
Rest In Peace Mic Lord
Christopher Jr.


The Power Of Addiction

I cant breath or
think right
I am suffocating alone in the dark,
this is the life that I made for myself
four years ago when I made a choice to start.
I am powerless over it's demands
I do whatever it says,
even when it means
that I’m in a random persons bed.
I’m out on the streets
at all hours of the night,
but standing up to my addiction
is a battle I cant fight.
I hurt everybody around me
made enemies out of people I didn’t even know,
but my life and behaviors
only seem like a Broadway show.
my life is more fucked now
now more than any other,
I’m destined to fail in life
and end up just like my mother.
I might not end up like her though
maybe there’s something a little better,
I wold do almost anything
but anything turned into whatever.
Years ago I’ve could have changed it
I could have never picked up that pipe,
maybe then I wouldn’t of experienced
all the fucked up things in life.
But those things only made me stronger
they put me where I’m at today,
almost two and a half years sober
and living a better way.
I could still be walking the streets
dirty clothes and no food,
spending all the money I have
in order to again use.
I could be laying in the street
with my soul blowing away in the wind,
my body covered with blood
and tears strolling down my face
but this wont be the my life ends.
I refuse to be a victim
to the power of my addiction.


The World Around Me

I’m living in a world
where no one seems to care
where people have no food or shelter
or something warm to wear.
I’m living in a world
where people keep on dying
when their love ones are all gone
that's when they stop crying.
I’m living in a world
where people are living on the streets
some rather be there
than at home being beat.
I’m living in a world
where people cut to feel a relief of pain
they do it all the time
until their last breath from hitting a vein.
A world where people are raped
abandoned and abused
where an addicts only motivation
is to get more money to use.
I’m living in a world
where people are fighting over a color.....red or blue
where if your not watching your back
the next dead person could be you.
A world where women prostitute
to take care of themselves
but the things they have to endure
make them feel like their in hell.
I’m living in a world
where I’m afraid to walk down the street
because another rapist
is someone who I don’t again want to meet.
I’m living in a world
where I cut just to feel.
Where I’ve attempted suicide several times
but still can not be killed.
I’m living in a world
a cruel one that we see
but it's important that you know
that all these horrible things are happening in the world around me.


Rest In Peace Mic Lord

Damn I still can't believe
the hand that you were dealt,
you can't even begin to understand
the emotions that I felt.
I was locked up when it happened
when I found out the news,
I just started going crazy
but I couldn't believe it was true.
After I was done with my visit
I went back to my room,
I cried and screamed and cussed
because there was nothing I could do.
I guess you owed him money
that's what my grandma said,
you went in your pocket to get your wallet
but he took it as a threat and shot you in the head.
I was only able to shut down
and think about our memories,
Gorilla Back records
was you wildest biggest dream.
You always handled yours
independent to the fullest,
being a big brother to me
and on my defense being ruthless.
You always had my back
it was you I could always depend on,
your love for me filled my heart
and you never did me wrong.
When I was living on the streets
you provided me with food and a place to sleep,
you put money in my pockets
clothes on my back and shoes on my feet.
I can still remember
us always chillin at the park,
you feared for me if I was alone
and stayed by my side throughout the dark.
You kept me away from the demons
you refused to let me drink and do drugs,
you made sure I didn't get involved
with all the neighborhood thugs.
I still can't believe your gone
that what they told me was true.
but I'm gonna try to live my life right
and always do good by and for you.


Christopher Jr.

Your my little angel
and your always on my mind,
your all that I can think about
because it helps me pass the time.
The night that you were born
is the night that changed my life,
from then on I knew
that I had to live my life right.
I still have yet to meet you
but yet I love you more than life,
every time I think of you
a tear falls from my eyes.
To ever loose you would be hard
a tragedy I couldn't stand to bear,
if anything ever happened to you
my heart would violently tear.
Your my baby nephew
the first one I ever had,
your the biggest joy in my life
and of you I'll always be proud.
It's important that you know
that you mean the world to me,
and no matter what ever happens,
by your side I'll always be.

Publication Date: 01-12-2011

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