Sempri Fi (Forever Faithful), TheRoost [e book reader android .txt] 📗

The wind is in the willows,
Waves are crashing in the sound,
And my tears fall like rivers into their chaotic dance
As the foam beneath them is pushed into blessed nothingness,
While my sorrows creep into my essence,
Devouring…destroying…
Drowning all that I am, all that I was, all that I could become,
Pushing all that and all else that wanders into their desolate path
Into the same blessed nothingness that the foam resides in,
Only to spring anew by the next rising wave,
But, alas, for me, that is not to be.
The protectors of the sea, on their mighty steeds of iron
That spits out lead at all who dare oppose us with a heated fire
And crafts that imitate the birds resting uneasily on its back,
Waiting for their purpose, for those who steer them into the never-ending sunset,
To earn glory and pride and hope and happiness,
These empty, filling things hide in the shallow waters of anyone else aboard the vessel
Except for me; fore my heart beats firmly in my chest
But shatters like the delicate crystal glass that it is,
Because I am alone now; though a thousand faces join me day by day,
My true companion is the sea, in her chaotic glory,
She turns a blind eye to my woes, but instead beckons me to join her watery realm,
But I dare not. I am not as sad as that, and pity from death’s cold hand is not what I seek.
But I do not want the company of the sea; I do not wish to be alone.
Venus, with her endless beauty and wandering heart, mourns for me,
For my return into her happy realm,
But it is a journey I am no longer suited for.
I am a maimed creature, you see;
A knife, solid in every way,
Every shape, every form, formed from misery and heartbreak,
Of tears spilt from lovers eyes and the empty space where hearts once were
Pierces my own heart,
But my hands are empty of this deceitful knife, of this endless pain, but my mind holds it fast,
Because the memory of you burns me,
Burns my essence where misery and sorrow have dampened it
With desire to re-kindle the dark soul that replaced the light, joyous one
But only pain comes from this weak attempt every second I think of you,
Worry for you, live and breathe for you…
It burns and burns for your return, but I know it will never stop,
Not until my love for you ceases too.
But I cannot…I do not know why,
I do not care why. The witchcraft Venus has created for me can have its hold,
Can take over my being if it wishes,
Because my greatest happiness, as well as my greatest misery, has come from it,
But only one truth, unhidden and unabridged by this spell, by my own misery…
This one truth which I clutch with all my remaining self
Is that I will always love you,
With all my heart which still beats for you,
With all my soul, that aches to be filled with your words, no matter how pointless and empty they are,
With every tainted breath, with every shallow heartbeat,
With everything that shall ever be mine or that was mine,
But I also know this small truth that hides in the shadows of the other;
This one small truth is that you will never love me,
Not in the way I desire, but you have that emptiness filled
By the never-ending happiness that I once felt with you, you feel for her.
And all I ask as I pace the iron steed’s back, with the eyeing birds anxiously waiting
Is why? Why not me?
I have known you; I always shall, no matter how hard I try to forget.
I know the way your mouth lifts when you smile, and always why it does,
And I know the way you ache for her, because it is how I ache for you,
And she will never know, and she won’t ever care.
I know that every breath we take puts us in pain,
But every memory of you kills me slowly, so very slowly…
If the sea cannot tempt me, I know I am safe,
But you have driven me away from all I know,
And I cannot return, because the plague that is your empty love waits there,
To haunt me, tease me, kill me whilst I live.
So I am setting you free, so you may ache for her, and I for you, but never revealing how I feel…
This is goodbye; the iron steed takes me away,
As I leave everything behind,
My life, happiness, sorrows…even my heart,
The empty crippled thing it is, is yours,
And it will be forever thus fore I have already given it up.
Now I shall live with my memories, but pain will not come.
The waves continue to crash on the fading shore,
But now whispers fill the willows, whispers of us,
Of what we could have been, and of what happened to the faithful friend
Whose one rule led to her heartbreak and her new beginning…
Sempri Fi

Text: TheRoost
Publication Date: 03-17-2012

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