A Stocking Full Of Christmas, Paul Curtis [chrysanthemum read aloud TXT] 📗

A MOTHERS CHRISTMAS TALE

I have worked for Ebenezer Scrooge all year
A man devoid of any sign of Christmas cheer
I’ve avoided being kissed by the office Romeo
By navigating the office avoiding mistletoe
As the time is ticking towards Christmas day
I could have done with a little help along the way
I’ve dealt with shoppers impatient and rude
But I tried to stay cheerful while I queued
I’ve bought all the presents the paper and bows
I’ve put up with all the countless ho ho ho’s
I’ve got all the groceries and gallons of booze
While you sat in front of the telly and snoozed
I’ve decked the halls I’ve trimmed the tree
I’ve wrapped all the presents from you and me
I’ve written all the Christmas cards to everyone
Which I hand delivered though I posted some
I’ve cleaned the whole house from bottom to top
I’ve washed and ironed till I’m ready to drop
I’ve prepared the veg, I’ve stuffed the bird
I’ve hung the stockings and you’ve not stirred
And the very second I take a minute for me
The first thing I hear is “Mum, what’s for tea”
So to Santa Claus I make my annual plea
For a very special present just for me
Just one year I would like to escape this stress
So that I too can have a merry Christmas

MOTHER CHRISTMAS

The birth of Christ
Is the reason for the day
Santa Claus does his part
In his magical way
Rudolf and the other reindeer
Pull the loaded sleigh
Decorations and lights
Put Christmas on display
And festive songs and carols
Have a part to play
But it takes a mother
To make it a very special day


CHRISTMAS FARE

There has never been a good time to be poor
Certainly not Christmas
As Dickens wrote
“This time when want is keenly felt by the poor”
And there has never been a good place to be poor
Certainly not Victorian London
Now a wealthy Victorian family
Would dine upon a Christmas dinner
Of Vegetable soup
Oyster patties,
Roast turkey or goose,
Boiled leg of mutton with caper sauce
Followed by Port wine jelly,
Mince pies and plum pudding
Queen Victoria is known to have eaten roast swan
While in the country
A piece of Smoked bacon
Or rabbit pie was had
The poor in town or country
Dined upon what ever could be found

CHRISTMAS IS FOR CHILDREN

The snow softly falls on Christmas Eve
Excitement abounds for they who believe
Children’s faces gaze out from the light
Searching for Santa in the snowy night
Then off to bed skipping across the floor
After milk and cookies are left by the door
Snuggled under covers they say “night mum”
And think happy thoughts of the day to come
They lie too excited to sleep in their beds
But sleep they do then they dream instead
Dreams of Santa Claus and presents galore
Dreams of toys and sweets and so much more
Then they awake in the early morning gloom
Squeals of delight coming from their rooms
And so another Christmas day has come
A day of love and laughter and above all fun


CHRISTMAS JAMMING

I sit in my car on a December day
In the evening rush hour on a Friday
Rain pounds on the roof of my car
As I sit in a jam not getting very far
Just sitting motionless in the traffic
Late home again, that just terrific
Bright red taillights fill my view
The light’s of other cars in the queue
I see Looking to my left and right
The twinkling of a Christmas light
The queue edges forward very slowly
Then I reach the junction eventually
Twenty minutes just to get this far
I see the blue light of a police car
I don’t believe it I could explode
The police have only shut my road
I still don’t know what’s to blame
As now I go back the way I came
All the way home I rant and rage
Growling like a wild beast in a cage
Rush hour and my spleen is vent
Shutting the road is so inconvenient
The reason for delay I still can’t see
But I do make it home eventually
I shout at the kids taking off my hat
I moan at my wife and kick the cat
I look at my dinner with total disdain
Dried up the gravy now just a stain
On Monday I relate my tale of woe
And my problems with traffic flow
A colleague of mine who lived locally
Knew the details and informed me
And then with shame I was filled
A woman was run down and killed
A week before Christmas she had died
A happy Christmas for her was denied
A poor young woman had lost her life
Somebody’s lover somebody’s wife
She was both a daughter and mother
Mourned by two sister’s and a brother
Bells ring out on Christmas morning
Bells ring out for a family mourning
Christmas bells ring out in glory
To celebrate the Christmas story
I spent Christmas with my family
With my heart so full of sympathy
I felt so ashamed at my selfishness
Angry impatient and thoughtless
I confess I behaved so irrationally
Just because I was late home for tea
When next I’m in a jam I’ll remember
Any time from January to December
I shall keep things in true perspective
And my thanks to God I shall give
No matter how slowly I have to drive
If I’m sitting in a jam I’m still alive


CHRISTMAS RULES

Our Christmas fare
Tables heaving
Cupboards overflowing
Contrasts starkly
With our foreign brothers
With meager bowls
Of meal or rice
How would they react?
To our gluttony

The homeless survive
On handouts
Of soup and bread
Or half eaten burgers
Discarded in bins
Sleeping in doorways
Or In cardboard boxes
With news paper bedding


Should we feel guilt?
For having more than they
For our good fortune
No we shouldn’t
But we should not forget them
We should spare a thought
For the less fortunate
And be charitable
A kind word or deed
Celebrate Christmas
By Christ’s rules

THROW AWAY CHRISTMAS

Cards adorned with Robins and snow
Holly sprigs and festive candle glow
Advent calendar and paper chains
Decorations never to be used again
Ribbons and bows and paper wrapping
With tree and wreath all go in the bin
Though Christmas may be throw away
The love can be recycled every day

CHRISTMAS SHOCKING

Well worn festive tunes
Blare out
Hapless faces
Stare out
Faces strained
Bemused, Confused
Lists gripped tight
Pens ticking or deleting
Then onward
Loaded trolleys
Wildly steering
Zig zagging
Aisle to aisle
Every item
Must be had
Gin for her
Beer for dad
Chocs and cakes
Chops and steaks
Turkey, stuffing
Nuts and fruit
Frozen this
Prepacked that
Pop and juice
Something’s loose
Everything ticked
On the tight gripped list
Nothing missed
Merry Christmas wished
Hundreds of pounds
Of Christmas bought
The festivities can begin
Relax in the knowledge
The shops will only be shut
For twenty four hours

IFS AND BUTS

If ifs, and buts and maybes
Were chocs and nuts and candies
Then you would have to concede
You’d have a wonderful Christmas indeed

DECEMBER REMEMBRANCES

Every year during the festivities
I remember friends and family
Those who are no longer with us
To celebrate another Christmas
And with each passing December
It seems there are more to remember
But I take time in equal measure
To enjoy each moment and to treasure
Those special ones who are still here
Whose number also grows year on year

MY FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS GIFT

My favourite Christmas gift
Costs nothing it’s free
It’s the overflowing gift of joy
I get from my family


KIDS DON’T UNDERSTAND CHRISTMAS

All children think
Christmas just happens
But parents work tirelessly
To bring it about
Months in the planning
Putting things away
Things to add to a special day
Shopping and wrapping
Dressing and decking
Super market shopping
The prices heart stopping
Journeying from shop to shop
For the latest must have toy
All made worth while
To see a face lit with joy


MEDIEVAL CHRISTMAS PIE

For the wealthy landowners
In medieval times
Food was plentiful
At Christmas time
And A few days before the holy day
The kitchen at the manor
Would begin their preparations
First a huge pasty case was made
For a special festive pie
Into the bottom of the huge pastry case
Went enormous amounts of forcemeat,
This was ground beef and lamb
Heavily seasoned with salt and pepper,
On this were placed boned and boiled hens,
Rabbits, Ducks and assorted game birds
Another layer of forcemeat was added
Then marrow, hard boiled egg yokes
Currants, prunes and dates
Spices such as cloves and saffron,
Mace and cinnamon
Finished off the ample filling
It was then covered
With the huge pastry lid and baked
And such a feast was had
The poor were less fortunate
Unless they had a goodly lord at the manor
But bad masters were
As plentiful as the feast
And so Christmas for the poor
Was often less than merry


SANTA’S TOYS

When Santa was a boy
No bigger than an elf
He was in the workshop
Making toys himself
But he has no time now
For making his own toys
Because he’s out delivering
To all the girls and boys


MY CHRISTMAS WISH

Dear Santa Claus its that time once again
And not for the first time I have to complain
Last Christmas you once again failed miserably
In securing that one simple gift for me
Every Christmas I write and beg and plead
And I’ve been good, not perfect though I’ll concede
This is not the first complaint you’ve had from me
I’ve written since I was four and now I’m forty three
So once again I’m sending you my Christmas list
And ask you to fulfill my one and only wish
Please send me my own special red hot lover
Or at the very least my own significant other


SEASONS GREETINGS

Tis the festive season
Of goodwill and reason
For the politically correct
The dithering and the direct
For the clubs and the cliques
And tedious control freaks
For the anal retentive's
And their many representatives
For council house yobs
And the inverted snobs
Those with professional jobs
And intellectual snobs
For the easily offended
And the over complicated
For the vile and the venomous
The overt and the anonymous
Snake in the grass vipers
And Back stabbing snipers
To the tarts and the vicars
And those in disposable knickers
For all poetry scrawlers
And the unpleasant name callers
For the narrowly minded
And those with axes grinded
For the loud minority
And the silent majority
For blondes and brunettes
And all lads and laddettes
Those pierced and tattooed
And the prim and the lewd
For the bright and the bland
And the humble and the grand
For those who are pretentious
And the liberal consensus
Every class hew and breed
Every persuasion and creed
Whether ungifted or artistic
And the mentally arthritic
For the first and the last
And sense of humour bypassed
For those with rhyme and reason
So in the spirit of the season
Now the year is nearly done
Merry Christmas everyone

THE NOT SO GREAT WAR