Pain, Jasmine Paddock [summer books TXT] 📗

Abuse

You take her by the leg,
You are hurting her.
Leave her alone.
What has she done wrong?
Fear is what she feels.
She thinks: "This is it."
"This is the end."
Leave her alone.
You drag her to the other room,
You kick her over and over again.
Stop it.
Her back gets kicked, and her legs.
Her shoulders too.
You drag her outside.
Out onto the porch.
Kick her more,
Her leg is in excruciating pain.
You don't care.
Then you slam the door and lock it.
Grab her backpack and coat,
Then you throw it at her face.
A little later,
She is rolled up in a ball on the porch.
The porch is raised five feet off the ground.
You say to her "You don't deserve to be on MY porch."
You kick at her until she falls off the porch.
All of this for an overflowed toilet.

Tears

Tears glistening on my cheek,
People always making fun of me.
To them, I'm mild and weak.
They don't know what I see.
I see the evil in them.
It stares me in the face.
I'm scared of them,
I always leave the room in haste.

Please...

Please...
Please don't look at me...
Please don't talk to me...
Please don't yell at me...
Please don't hit me...
Please leave me alone...
Please...
I can't take it anymore.

The deeper I cut

The deeper I cut,
The less pain I feel.
Even though it hurts,
I feel less mental pain.
Pain erases pain,
And yet I still hurt.
I cut deeper and deeper,
More and more.
Death is after my life,
Yet I don't care because I have nothing to live for.
The day I will die is the day I make my friends hate me.
If I am cruel that is why.
That is the day that I will die.
The day I will die by my own knife.
That day is the day I will say my final goodbye.

Crying until I have no tears left

The day starts out great,
Not a worry in the world.
Then a small thing happens.
A friend forgets to mention my homestuck character.
Not a big deal.
Yet something stirs inside of me.
I can't stop it.
I have to leave now.
Anger is making me shake.
I walk to the bathroom,
Hiding my face.
I enter the stall and close the door.
And then it happens,
The feelings I had bottled up over the years explode.
Out of me they go.
I punch the stall door.
I feel no pain.
Then I start shaking uncontrollebly.
Tears shoot out of my eyes.
Someone asks if I want help,
I am unable to talk.
I am crying until I have no tears left.

I'm sorry

Im sorry.
I don't know what I did wrong.
I'm sorry,
Did I hurt you somehow?
I'm sorry,
Why are you crying?
I'm sorry,
I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry,
Please understand,
I love you,
I didn't mean to hurt you.
Please forgive me.
How many times do I have to say :


I'm sorry.

Leave me alone, Papa

Leave me alone,
Stop yelling at me.
You insult me every chance you get.
You laugh when you make me cry.
I haven’t done anything wrong.
Go away,
I’ve had enough of you bullying me.
I hate you.
Stop it.
How dare you treat me like this.
Stop making fun of me.
Shut up,
Go away,
Stop it.
Stop hitting me.
I thought I could trust you.
You think it’s funny,
You are dead wrong.
You will pay for this.
You don’t understand me.
You act like you rule my life.
You call me irresponsible.
You are evil.
Shut up,
Leave me alone.
It’s none of your business.
You say I’ll end up in jail.
Yet I’ve done nothing wrong.
You say doing nothing is a crime.
It is time for you to leave me alone.
You use a baby voice to make fun of me.
Why can’t you be nice to me?
Why do you treat me this way?
You threaten to send me to a receiving home.
You call people names behind their backs.
Yet you deserve to be called all of those names.
You say I argue about every thing,
Yet you are just describing yourself.
You make me wish to die.
You are the reason I cut my wrists.
I hate you, leave me alone.
Can’t you be nice to me just once?

Imprint

Publication Date: 11-01-2011

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