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left me with that time.

I thought our love was dead

and we could just be friends.

 

The pain and longing in your eyes shone brightly there,

and I knew that I was wrong.

You still thought of me that way, even after her.

I always knew what I wanted.

 

But when I saw that baby's crib,

with the lion in my hand,

everything was dark again;

except that light in your eyes

that were reflecting mine.

 

But that light came and went

and you still walked away.

I wonder if you think back now

and miss the light you saw that day.

Fancy Meeting You Here

'Fancy meeting you here,

on this lovely rainy day...'

No, that just sounds stupid.

I won't say anything at all.

But what to scream out loud is

'Of course you would show up here,

the day after I forgot you.

It couldn't have waited

another year or twenty?'

I suppose only fate could control this,

considering it wasn't planned.

But were we somehow summoned...

"no, shut up"

I whisper to myself.

It wasn't meant to be;

except it,

and keep on walking by.

So that's just what I'm going to..

"hey!" he yells,"Come over here!"

So, of course,

I do.

And what else is he to say,

But "Fancy meeting you here."

Re-Sewing A Masterpiece

 

If everyone pulls on a loose string

of an eloquent design,

shaped and patterned into something once beautiful

now ragged,

it will someday come undone.

 

And my world has unraveled;

just as they all said.

Reality has struck me;

like an apple to the head.

 

Everything they said was right.

Self sabotage intends

for messed up thoughts, fright;

to wear you down to nothing.

 

Once are torn down,

the world can build you up;

slowly fill your livelihood,

like water to an empty cup.

 

He slowly chipped away at every problem,

tried to beat it the easy way.

I would not see it as it was,

and if I did, I wouldn't say.

 

He finally gave in,

and took nearly everything I had away.

He kept me empty so I would believe,

and listen to what he had to say.

 

I was confused as to why he held me

when I broke down and started crying.

If he was leaving why would he care,

especially if he thought I was lying?

 

He said what needed to be said,

then kissed me and let me go.

I begged him not to leave,

but he said it needed to be so.

 

My stomach has a seering pain.

I felt as though I couldn't breathe.

I cannot understand; in him leaving I see no gain.

I can't believe this is happening.

 

I cried for hours;

thought I only had one friend.

I knew that I was beaten.

My childhood was at an end.

 

Later when I fixed nearly everything

he asked me if I would talk.

He asked if I would come back to him,

and I held back in shock.

 

"I didn't leave because I wanted to.

It was all an act.

I did it all for you,

so you could understand...

 

I know you're angry and completely lost.

It hurt so bad to do that Love,

but I knew that waiting had a cost,

and it needed to be done for us."

 

With that being said,

the thread began a new pattern;

leaving the old one dead,

to hopefully start brand new.

 

He said "I still love you

and that will never change."

I hope you do because

I realized that I need you.

 

I'll keep on sewing

if you can show me how.

I'll keep on loving you;

if you'll stay with me now.

I Don't Know Him; But I Call Him "Mine"


     His story is heartbreaking; sad.

No-one ever knew it really was that bad.

We play guessing games that are just great;

but soon they must meet their fate.

 

I wondered if he really is just fine.

I don't know him; but I call him mine.

 

I found my perfect other part.

Both set upon locking up our heart.

He fooled me into letting him in;

but believeing I'm real, to him, is sin.

 

He doesn't sleep so he won't dream.

And avoiding food avoids sickness it would seem.

He is broken and ok,

and yet still has nothing to say.

 

I can tell only sometimes if he is fine.

I don't know him; but I call him mine.

 

I want to be as perfect for him as he is for I,

but when I saw his tears a part of me wanted to die.

I realized I can't do anything but hear;

I cry for Him now; My Love, My Dear.

 

I'll love him till the end, even if nothing will ever mend.

I hope that we both can change.

I love one that I don't know;

how strange.

 

He never seems to have much to say,

and yet I listen anyway.

He tries to have a face of stone,

and convinces himself he likes being alone.

 

My hope is dying; I can't break through.

I want us to work, but I don't know what to do.

I love the man he could be,

but also love theboy I see.

 

So many things he could achieve,

but for now he needs to just believe.

I don't wish him to change to a different guy;

just enough to get us by.

 

I know that he really isn't fine.

I don't know him; but I call him mine.

 

I Know I'm Not Invincible

I know I'm not invincible;

but how I wish I was.

I know I can't beat a 6ft wrestler.

I know I can only eat so much,

and that I can only stand so tall.

But I also know that if I do something stupid,

I will fall.

I know I eventually need to sleep,

or my body will beat my retaliation.

I know I need to people to survive,

but no-one said they have to be alive.

I know that my world may fall to peices,

but I'm still alive,

so there must be a way out of this mess.

I know that I am counted on,

and know sometimes

I'll let them down.

No one said I have to smile,

and no-one said I have to lose.

I just can't win and I just cant frown.

Sometimes rebellion doesn't work,

and sometimes it makes you stronger.

I can go without food for two days

and I can live without sleep for a week.

I can carry a football player,

and I can fight with words not fists, and win.

I somehow just missed the lesson

on how to be invincible.

Because obviously,

I'm not.

But how I wish I was.

Still Breathing

Somehow I'm still breathing

though my heart is in my throat.

I'm sobbing as I choke

on the still beating broken thing

stopping my airways.

And somehow I'm still breathing

though my stomach is suddenly sick of itself

and is trying to escape

up through my throat as well.

I'm gasping and sobbing,

and like a cough and a yawn,

they do not mix.

I am a fish out of water

and yet

somehow I'm still breathing.

My arms are around my torso

and knees to my chest.

The aching slowly overrides my body

and all I can do is sit there

and try to get a full breath

as I feel like I'm suffocating

though somehow I'm still breathing.

The pain reaches through my skin,

and touches everything within it's grasp.

Everything suddenly hurts with an sting

that I didn't know I could feel,

that I didn't know could even reach

those places inside me;

but it did,

and somehow I'm still breathing.

I Fear Not A Worldly Death

We speak of death.

We shudder at torture.

We wonder what will come

when the Reaper's timer has gone off.

Will we see the glow of angels

or light from whips of fire?

 

These are not the hauntings of my dreams though.

My nightmares are of worldy loss,

of spiritual diminish

and emotional decay.

 

My personal Hell on Earth is being lost,

alone in this world,

being absolutely ordinary,

opening up to you,

then having you slowly fade away.

 

(It is not a world of silence,

as I can speak.

Yet somehow when you walk through

If your lips are not on mine to keep me silent;

my voice will be silent

but the sound that will be heard

is me shaking for release in the dark

as I only intend to speak

if you intend to hear.)

 

My nightmares hold no demons,

no monsters of foreign soil.

All I fear is loss of me,

loss of you,

loss of love I've never had.

 

Flip the tables,

turn the mirrors,

just do not show my horrors true.

Leave Hell to Satan

as I fear not a worldly death;

I fear loss of you.

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