The Life of Trust, George Müller [e ink epub reader .txt] 📗

I should build unto the Lord this house of mercy, arose also particularly from this, that having strictly examined my heart as to the motives for doing so, I found that, as before God, I could say that my only motives were his honor and glory, and the welfare of the church of Christ at large, the real temporal and spiritual welfare of destitute orphans, and the welfare of all those who might take care of them, in the building to be erected. And finding that, after praying again and again about the matter, I still remained in perfect peace, I judged it assuredly to be the will of God that I should go forward.

On Nov. 15, brother R. C. arrived, to labor for a little while in Bristol. I communicated to him my position with reference to having to remove the orphans from Wilson Street, and I had his judgment also as to its being of God that I should build. This dear brother’s judgment greatly encouraged me. His visit was to me of great help in this particular, especially in stirring me up yet more to bring everything in connection with this matter before God. He also laid it on my heart to seek direction from God with reference to the plan of the building. He said, “You must ask help from God to show you the plan, so that all may be according to the mind of God.”

Up to Dec. 9, thirty-five days had passed away, whilst I was day by day waiting upon God for means for this work, and not a single penny had been given to me. Nevertheless, this did not in the least discourage me, but my assurance that God, in his own time and in his own way, would give the means, increased more and more. The portion which came in course of my meditation on the New Testament, was the beginning of the epistle of James. More than at any period in my life was I struck with these verses: “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations (i. e. trials); knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James i. 2-4. It was especially the last verse, “But let patience have her perfect work,” etc., which I found of exceeding great importance with reference to the building of the Orphan House. It led out my soul in prayer day after day, to ask the Lord to increase my faith, and to sustain my patience. I had these verses so impressed upon my heart that I could not but think that God meant particularly to bless me by them, with regard to the work before me, and that I should especially need patience as well as faith.

On the thirty-sixth day after having begun to pray, Dec. 10, 1845, I received one thousand pounds towards the building of the Orphan House. This is the largest donation that I had received up to that time for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution; but when I received it I was as calm, as quiet, as if I had only received one shilling. For my heart was looking out for answers. Day by day I was expecting to receive answers to my prayers. Therefore, having faith concerning the matter, this donation did not in the least surprise me. Yea, if five thousand pounds or ten thousand pounds had been given to me, instead of one thousand pounds, it would not have surprised me.

Dec. 13. On the thirty-ninth day my sister-in-law, who had been for some weeks absent in London, and who had now returned to Bristol, told me that she had met a gentleman in London, who, having quite recently read with deep interest the Narrative of the Lord’s dealings with me, wished to know as many particulars about the work in my hands as he could. Being told by my sister-in-law that I purposed to build an Orphan Mouse, he, an architect, offered to make the plan, and superintend the building gratuitously. Unsolicited, he pressed this matter upon her with deep and lively interest. I hear also that he is a Christian. The fact that this offer comes unsolicited, and from a Christian architect, shows especially the hand of God. This is the second proof that God will help me in this matter.

Dec. 23. This is now the fiftieth day since I have come to the conclusion to build, and the forty-ninth day since we have been daily waiting upon God for help. Nothing more has come in since Dec. 10, not even one penny. This morning I have been particularly encouraged by the consideration that the Lord has sent me the one thousand pounds, and the promise from that pious architect, whom I have never seen, and of whose name I am as yet in ignorance, not to mock me, but as an earnest that he will give all that is needed.

It seems desirable that we should have a large piece of ground, at least six or seven acres. This piece of ground must be in the vicinity of Bristol: 1. In order that the Orphan House may be accessible to me, as my place at present is fixed by my other work in Bristol. 2. That the laborers in the Institution, and the orphans may be able to attend our meetings, at least on the Lord’s day. For if meetings were held on purpose in the Orphan House, either the laborers or the children would not be benefited by them in that measure in which it is desirable. 3. That the inhabitants of Bristol may have the benefit of seeing with their own eyes this work of God, which is so manifestly his and not mine. 4. That strangers who pass through Bristol may have easy access to it, for the same reason. But then, such a piece of ground near Bristol, where there is just now such an inordinate desire for building, in the way of speculation, would cost, in all human probability, between two and three thousand pounds. Then the building itself, however plain, would not cost less than from six to eight thousand pounds, being for three hundred orphans, besides all their overseers, teachers, and assistants. In addition to this, the fitting up and furnishing the house for all these between three and four hundred inmates would not cost less than fifteen hundred pounds more. This is indeed a large sum of money which I need; but my hope is in God. I have not sought after this thing. It has not begun with me. God has altogether unexpectedly, by means of the letter before mentioned, led me to it. Only the day before I received the letter, I had no more thought about building premises for the accommodation of the orphans than I had had during the ten previous years. My especial prayer is that God would continue to me faith and patience. If he shall be pleased to help me in faith and patience to continue to wait on him, help will surely come.

Dec. 24. No further donation yet. But my hope in God is unshaken. He most assuredly will help. I have on purpose not issued any circular in connection with this matter, in order that the hand of God may be the more manifest. To some persons residing in or out of Bristol I have spoken about my intention of building, when conversation led to it. Through this, if the Lord please, he can make it known to others, and thus send means for the building fund. Or he can send in such an abundance of means for the work which is already in existence, that from that abundance there might be a rich surplus towards the building fund. But howsoever God may help, I do desire to see his hand made most manifest. There will be, no doubt, many trials connected with this enlargement of the field of labor (for if with the one hundred and thirty orphans there has been so much trial of faith, what is to be expected when the number is three hundred); and therefore I desire to see as clearly as daylight that God himself is leading me onward.

Dec. 29. This is the fifty-sixth day since I came to the conclusion to build, and the fifty-fifth since I have been day by day waiting upon God concerning it. Only that one donation had come in till this evening, when I received fifty pounds. This donation is exceedingly precious to me, not only because I am sure it is most cheerfully given, nor even because of its largeness, but because it is another precious proof that God will bring about the matter, else he would not give me these earnests. All my business therefore is, to continue in faith and patience to wait upon God. My assurance has been more and more increasing that God will build for himself a large Orphan House in this city, to show to the inhabitants, and to all who may read and hear about it, what a blessed thing it is to trust in him. Of late I have seen, by God’s grace, more and more how entirely unworthy I am of being used by God for this glorious and honorable service, and I can only say: “Lord, here is thy servant, if thou art pleased to use such a one as I am.”

Dec. 30, 1845. This morning I came, in course of my reading, to the commencement of the book of Ezra. I was particularly refreshed by the two following points contained in the first chapter, in applying them to the building of the Orphan House: 1. Cyrus, an idolatrous king, was used by God to provide the means for building the temple at Jerusalem: how easy therefore for God to provide ten thousand pounds for the Orphan House, or even twenty or thirty thousand pounds, if needed. 2. The people were stirred up by God to help those who went up to Jerusalem. Thus it is a small matter for him to put it into the hearts of his children to help me, in desiring to build this house of mercy unto his name. This meditation I had before breakfast. After family prayer in the morning, I had again my usual season for prayer about the building, and at this time it was particularly coupled with thanksgiving for the fifty pounds received last evening, and with entreating blessings on the donor. I was now looking out for more, as I am doing day by day, when this afternoon I received from a person at Clevedon two shillings sixpence, from her grandson sixpence, and from the sister in the Lord who brought the money the change which she did not wish back, being another sixpence. These donations, though small, are nevertheless very precious to me, as I take them as further proofs out of the hands of God that he will most assuredly bring this thing to pass. This evening I received one thousand pounds towards the building fund. When I received this donation I was as calm, yea as perfectly calm, as if I had received a single penny, because, by God’s grace, I have faith in him, and therefore I am looking for answers to my prayers, and am sure that God will give every shilling that is needed.

January 2, 1846. This evening I received from Bideford eleven shillings towards the building fund.

Jan. 3. One of the orphans gave sixpence.

Jam 6. Received a little bag made of foreign seed, and a shell flower, to be sold for the building fund. The sister who sent these articles wrote to me, that the moment she heard of my intention of building an Orphan House, this text was before