The Life of Trust, George Müller [e ink epub reader .txt] 📗

of time during any other period of this work. 2. It is for the profit of the church at large that I have now again to pass through these days of poverty. 3. It is as easy for the Lord to supply me with all the means that the work will require when once the new Orphan House is opened, as it is for him to give me what I need now, though the expenses in all likelihood will then be two thousand five hundred pounds a year more than they are at present.

July 13. The proceeds of an orphan box from Stafford, four pounds seven shillings sixpence. The friend who sent the money wished to know whether it arrived in a time of need. I have had many similar requests, to which I can reply nothing, or say at the most that the answer may be learnt from the next Report. It will be easily perceived, on reflection, that if I said it came seasonably, that would imply we had little or nothing at all in hand, and what would that again mean but this, “As our expenses are so great, that which you have now sent will be soon gone again, and therefore send us some more, or get some friend to help us.” But by this very thing the chief object of this work, “To show how blessed it is to deal with God alone, and how blessed to trust in him in the darkest moments,” would be hindered. It is also for this very reason that I do not publish the accounts very frequently, for instance quarterly, as I have been requested to do; but I am delighted to wait a year, or eighteen months, or two years, or more; and even then I do not publish them for the sake of obtaining money (though unquestionably God has used the Reports as instruments to procure us means), but for the benefit of the church of God, to refresh, encourage, exhort, and instruct my brethren in Christ; and also because it is needful that from time to time I should give a public account of the way in which the considerable sums with which I have been intrusted have been spent.

Oct. 19. I left Bristol with my dear wife, partly because both of us much needed change of air, and partly because I had a great desire to labor in the word for a few weeks in Westmoreland and Cumberland. I was not able to leave more means than enough for about three days for housekeeping expenses. But I could not have stayed in Bristol, though there had been nothing at all in hand; my hope was that God would help during my absence. During all the time of my stay at Bowness in Westmoreland, from Oct. 20 to Nov. 20, there was day by day, with the exception of the first three days after my departure, need to wait upon God for daily supplies for the orphans. In consequence of this, every donation, without exception, which was received during my absence, came in most seasonably. Partly on account of my health, and partly on account of opportunities for service in Westmoreland and elsewhere, I did not feel it right to return to Bristol sooner than I did, though there was such great poverty; nor could I have done anything in Bristol which I could not do in Westmoreland, as it regards procuring means, since prayer and faith are all the means I make use of to obtain supplies when we are in need.

Dec. 23. The need of to-day was eleven pounds. This sum the Lord gave me thus: Last evening I received one pound, together with a pair of trousers and gaiters, and a remnant of fustian for the orphans. But as I knew how much there would be needed to-day, I waited further upon the Lord this morning for help, and, in one minute after I had risen from my knees, I received a letter from Liverpool with ten pounds for the orphans. The donor writes: “I have had the inclosed ten-pound note in my drawer for some time, intending to send it to you for the orphans; but my time is so occupied that at a suitable time when at my desk I have overlooked it. I now, however, inclose it,” etc. How seasonable this help! How exactly to the very shilling what is needed to-day! How remarkable that just now this donor in Liverpool is led to send the ten pounds which had been, according to his own words, for some time in his drawer for the purpose of sending it! All this abundantly proves the most minute and particular providence of God, and his readiness to answer the supplications of his children.

Dec. 30. When this day began, I was without anything for the necessities of the day, though I had reason to believe that several pounds would again be required. I was therefore again looking out for fresh supplies. Accordingly, about ten o’clock this morning, a brother in the Lord, who had come last evening to stay for a night in my house, gave me ten pounds, to be used as it might be most needed. To be noticed in connection with this donation is: 1. I had, not long since, received a donation from him. 2. This brother had generally stated how he wished his donations to be appropriated, and they had been chiefly for missionary purposes; but this time he left it to me to use this money, as most needed, and therefore I could take of it what was needed for the orphans. 3: I was now extremely poor also with regard to the funds for all the other objects, so that I was obliged to tell the teachers of the day schools last Tuesday evening, 28th, that if no fresh supplies came in, I should not be able to give them their weekly salaries, as usual, next Tuesday evening, being now poorer in this particular than I had been for years. How kind therefore of the Lord, not only to give me this money through this brother at this time, but also to dispose his heart to leave the application of it to me as most needed. I took half of it for this day’s housekeeping expenses for the orphans, and half for the school fund, for the weekly salaries of the teachers next Tuesday. I also received further this morning a half sovereign from Droitwich. The little that was left, after the housekeeping expenses were met, was put by for rent and the expenses for the apprentices, and I was again without a penny, looking out for fresh supplies for to-morrow.

Dec. 31, 1847. The last day of another year had now come. Great and many had been the mercies of God to me this year in every way, particularly also in connection with the orphans; but now I had again nothing for to-day, except two shillings which are in one of the boxes in my house. I was, however, by God’s grace, able to look out for supplies for this last day of another year also, being fully assured that the Lord would not confound me. And thus it has been, according to my expectation; for, before I was called on for money, I received one hundred pounds, which was left to me to apply to any part of the Lord’s service where there seemed the most need.

Feb. 2, 1848. This morning, on my walk before breakfast, I felt myself led out of my usual track into a direction in which I had not gone for some months. In stepping over a stile I said to myself: “Perhaps God has a reason even in this.” About five minutes afterwards I met a Christian gentleman who gave me two sovereigns for the orphans, and then I knew the reason why I had been led this way.

Feb. 3. The reader might say, “You are continually in need. No sooner is the one demand met, than another comes. Do you not find it a trying life, and are you not tired of it?” My reply is, It is true I am more or less continually in need in connection with this work. And if I were to tell out all my heart to the reader concerning it, he would have still more reason to say that I am continually in need. For what I have here written is almost exclusively about the way in which God has been pleased to supply me with money for carrying on the work; but I do deliberately state that this, much as it might appear to one or the other, is by no means the chief thing that I stand in need of from day to day. I will just hint at a few other things. Sickness among the children, very difficult and tedious cases, in which, notwithstanding all the means which are used month after month, yea, year after year, the children remain ill. Nothing remains but either to keep them, or to send them to the Parish Union, to which they belong, as they have no relatives able to provide for them. The very fact of having cared for them and watched over them for years only endears them the more to us, and would make it the more trying to send them back to their parish. This is a “need” which brings me to God. Here is prayer required, not only for means which such sick children call for, but for guidance and wisdom from on high.

Sometimes children are to be placed out as servants or apprentices. A suitable place is needed, or else they had better remain under our care. The obtaining of this suitable place is a “need” indeed. It is more difficult to be obtained than money. Sometimes for many weeks have I had to wait upon God to have this “need” supplied; but he has always at last helped. Sometimes great has been my “need” of wisdom and guidance in order to know how certain children ought to be treated under particular circumstances; and especially how to behave towards certain apprentices or servants who were formerly in the Orphan Houses. A “need” in this respect is no small thing; though I have found that in this and in all other matters, concerning which I was in “need,” I have been helped, provided I was indeed able to wait patiently upon God. That word, “godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come,” (1 Tim. iv. 8,) I have in times almost without number found to be true in my own experience.

Further, when one or the other of the laborers needed to leave the work on account of health, or for other reasons, I have been at such times in far greater “need” than when I required money for the various objects of the Institution. I could only have such “need” supplied by waiting upon God. I could do nothing but speak to my heavenly Father about this matter, and he has always helped. One of the greatest difficulties connected with this work is to obtain suitable godly persons for it; so many things are to be taken into the account. Suitable age, health, gift, experience, love for children, true godliness, a ready mind to serve God in the work and not themselves, a ready mind to bear with the many trials and difficulties connected with it, a manifest purpose to labor, not for the sake of the remuneration, but to serve God in their work; surely, to obtain godly persons, in whom these qualifications even in some measure are found combined, is not an easy matter. Not that any one will suppose me to mean that I am looking