The Life of Trust, George Müller [e ink epub reader .txt] 📗

out for perfect fellow-laborers. Not that any one will suppose that my fellow-laborers are referred to by me as if they were without weaknesses, deficiencies, and failings. I am myself far, very far from being without weaknesses, deficiencies, and failings. Moreover, I never expect to find fellow-laborers for this work who have not their weaknesses; but this I do mean to say, that the work of God in my hands is of that character, and, by God’s grace, is really carried on with such a true purpose to serve God thereby (however much I and my fellow-laborers may fail), that it is with me a matter of deep moment to find truly suitable individuals for it, in whom, as much as possible, the above qualifications should be found united. And, however much there may be wanting, this is more and more my aim, that I may obtain such helpers; and hence it can be easily perceived how great my “need” must be again and again on this very account. I do here especially advise, that if any should apply in future for situations in connection with this work, they would keep these remarks before them; for, by God’s grace, it is my purpose never to give to any persons a situation in connection with the Institution, if they are not suitable for it according to the light which God gives me.

Further, that the laborers work happily together among themselves, and that I go on happily in service with them; that I be their servant, on the one hand, and yet, on the other, maintain the place which God has given me in this work; surely, if any one carefully looks at this, he will at once see that there is a difficulty and a “need” far greater than any that is connected with money. O, how these matters lead one to call upon God! How they continually make one sensible of one’s “need!” Truly, I am in need, in continual need. I might refer to many more points, in connection with this work, in which I am more or less continually in “need;” but I will only mention one. It is now many years since I have made my boast in the living God in so public a manner by my publications. On this account Satan unquestionably is waiting for my halting, and if I were left to myself I should fall a prey to him. Pride, unbelief, or other sins would be my ruin, and lead me to bring a most awful disgrace upon the name of Jesus. Here is then a “need,” a great “need.” I do feel myself in “need,” in great “need,” even to be upheld by God; for I cannot stand for a moment if left to myself. O that none of my dear readers might admire me, and be astonished at my faith, and think of me as if I were beyond unbelief! O, that none of my dear readers might think that I could not be puffed up by pride, or in other respects most awfully dishonor God, and thus at last, though God has used me in blessing hitherto to so many, become a beacon to the church of Christ! No, I am as weak as ever. I need as much as ever to be upheld as to faith, and every other grace. I am therefore in “need,” in great “need;” and therefore help me, dear Christian reader, with your prayers.

I allow, then, most fully that I am in continual “need.” This is the case with regard to money matters, because the work is now so large. A few hundred pounds go but a little way. There have often been weeks when my demands have been several hundred pounds a week, and it can therefore easily be supposed that, even if large donations come in, they do not last long. But whilst I allow this, I desire that the Christian reader may keep in mind that there are other necessities, and even greater ones than those connected with money. Should, however, the reader say that he thinks “I must find this a very trying life, and that I must be tired of it,” I beg to state that he is entirely mistaken. I do not find the life in connection with this work a trying life, but a very happy one. It is impossible to describe the abundance of peace and heavenly joy that often has flowed into my soul by means of the fresh answers which I have obtained from God, after waiting upon him for help and blessing; and the longer I have had to wait upon him, or the greater my need was, the greater the enjoyment when at last the answer came, which has often been in a very remarkable way, in order to make the hand of God the more manifest. I do therefore solemnly declare that I do not find this life a trying life, but a very happy one, and I am consequently not in the least tired of it. Straits and difficulties I expected from the very beginning. Before I began this service I expected them; nay, the chief object of it was, that the church at large might be strengthened in faith, and be led more simply, habitually, and unreservedly to trust in the living God, by seeing his hand stretched out in my behalf in the hour of need. I did, therefore, expect trials, great trials and straits; but cheerfully, for the glory of God, and the profit of God’s dear children, did I desire to pass through them, if only the saints might be benefited by the dealings of God with me. The longer I go on in this service, the greater the trials of one kind or another become; but at the same time the happier I am in this my service, and the more I am assured that I am engaged as the Lord would have me to be. How then could I be tired of carrying on the work of God on such principles as I do?

III. THE NEW ORPHAN HOUSE ON ASHLEY DOWN.

Up to May 26, 1846, £2,710, 3s. 5½d. had been received toward building the new Orphan House.

July 4, 1846. For about three months my faith and patience have been exceedingly tried about the field which I have purchased for the building of the orphan house, as the greatest difficulties arose about my possessing the land after all; but, by God’s grace, my heart was kept in peace, being fully assured that if the Lord were to take this piece of land from me it would be only for the purpose of giving me a still better one; for our heavenly Father never takes any earthly thing from his children except he means to give them something better instead. But in the midst of all this great trial of faith I could not but think, judging from the way in which God so manifestly had given me this piece of land, that the difficulties were only allowed for the trial of my faith and patience. And thus it was. Last evening I received a letter by which all the difficulties were removed, and now, with the blessing of God, in a few days the conveyance will be made out.

July 6. The reason why, for several months, there had come in so little for the building fund, appeared to me this, that we did not need the money at present; and that when it was needed, and when my faith and patience had been sufficiently tried, the Lord would send more means. And thus it has proved; for to-day was given to me the sum of two thousand and fifty pounds, of which two thousand pounds is for the building fund, and fifty pounds for present necessities.

It is impossible to describe my joy in God when I received this donation. I was neither excited nor surprised; for I look out for answers to my prayers. I believe that God hears me. Yet my heart was so full of joy that I could only sit before God, and admire him, like David in 2 Sam. vii. At last I cast myself flat down upon my face, and burst forth in thanksgiving to God, and in surrendering my heart afresh to him for his blessed service.

July 21. This morning a gentleman from Devonshire, on his way to London, called on me. When he came I was just in prayer, having, among other matters, brought also before the Lord the following points: 1. I had been asking him for some supplies for my own temporal necessities, being in need. 2. I had asked him for more means for the building fund, and besought him to hasten the matter, on account of the inhabitants in Wilson Street, on account of the welfare of the children and those who have the oversight of them in the Orphan Houses, and lastly that I might be able to admit more orphans, the number of applications being so great. 3. I had also asked the Lord for means for present use for the orphans, as the outgoings are so great. 4. I had asked for means for the other objects. When I saw this gentleman from Devonshire, he gave me twenty pounds, of which ten pounds is to be used for the building fund, five pounds for present use of the orphans, two pounds for brother Craik and myself, and the remaining three pounds were left to my disposal, which I applied to the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. Thus I received, at the very moment that I had been asking God, four answers to my prayers.

Nov. 19. I am now led more and more to importune the Lord to send me the means which are requisite in order that I may be able to commence the building. Because, 1. It has been for some time past publicly stated in print that I consider it is not without ground that some of the inhabitants of Wilson Street consider themselves inconvenienced by the Orphan Houses being in that street, and I long therefore to be able to remove the orphans from thence, as soon as possible. 2. I become more and more convinced that it would be greatly for the benefit of the children, both physically and morally, with God’s blessing, to be in such a position as they are intended to occupy, when the new Orphan House is built. And, 3. Because the number of very poor and destitute orphans, that are waiting for admission, is so great, and there are constantly fresh applications made. Now whilst, by God’s grace, I would not wish the building to be begun one single day sooner than it is his will; and whilst I firmly believe that he will give me, in his own time, every shilling which I need; yet I also know that he delights in being earnestly entreated, and that he takes pleasure in the continuance in prayer, and in the importuning him, which so clearly is to be seen from the parable of the widow and the unjust judge. Luke xviii. 1-8. For these reasons I gave myself again particularly to prayer last evening, that the Lord would send further means, being also especially led to do so, in addition to the above reasons, because there had come in but little comparatively since the 29th of last month. This morning between five and six o’clock I prayed again, among other points, about the building fund, and then had a long season for the reading of the word of God. In the course of my reading I came to Mark xi. 24: “What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.” The importance of