THE NIGHT, kalsang choedon [cat reading book txt] 📗

I don't know if readers will understand what I am now about to start... I even don't know if its in the category of stories or not. But I felt it is something that I have to state on this page... I know clearly that every love story is special in a way or the other. So is mine for me and the boy who shared it with me. At many stages I was so confused of it and not knowing what I was doing. And somehow still there are some confusions left. But I didn't opened this page to write about my confusions but about the biggest confusion that got sought-ed out. And here the story or what ever it is begins.......1

We were called as married couples, me his wife and he as in my husband. Ours was arranged marriage. We didn't knew each other. Our parents arranged our marriage. Things never went smooth. And I always knew that the reason was me. He tried every possible way to meant things right which never worked. For me I always thought that the only way to meant things were to split. To which he never agreed. I was everything to him which wasn't same for me. In my life my friends were the only thing I cared about despite of the fact that they didn't felt the same. I always felt that I don't get the same amount of love I offer them. I said to my best friend once that when you will love some one like the way i love you then only you will realize my importance. 2

The biggest reason I avoided him was that he always was with complains. I don't love him, I don't give enough time to him, I don't give him any importance so so so and so. I thought its his habit to criticize others and kept avoiding him. What else would have I done? He wasn't letting me leave him and being with him didn't gave me any happiness. 3

I could have ignored all his pains and left him no matter what he says, But I wasn't able to do that either. Something in me gets hurt every time I hurt him. 4

Days turned in weeks and weeks in months. Our relation was like as it ever used to be. Nothing but something. I guess I never was able to leave him because he loved me. 5

Living with a relation that didn't meant anything to me was hard. I neither was able to deceive him nor was able to love him until that night. 6

That night I called him around 2am. I was restless because of the thoughts. We had spent one whole year with this relation that never worked. I told him this is it. I cant take it any more. My voice was determined and he knew me well. That time may be he realized that he cant stop me anymore and force me to be with him like this.7

He was a tough guy always but not regarding me. And for the first time he said I could leave him. He didn't stopped me that night. He didn't spoke anything to get me emotional. He didn't cried like he used to. I thought he also might have got fed up with me till the last sentence he said. He didn't said anything big... Nothing too emotional... Nothing to hold me back but to let me know once that he loves me. He said \I wish you love someone like the way I love you. Only then you would understand me./////8

How come a simple sentence make me understand all things so well? How come I didn't understood this for the whole year? He might have got hurt so many times like I got when my friends didn't loved me back. 9

How could have I left him then? I understood him for the first time. So I didn't left. On the contrary. I asked for a chance. Just a chance to make it up to him. He said I could get thousands of chances. And here I am living that chance happily............10
I as in me.

Publication Date: 01-29-2010

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Dedication:
To my love.