Disasterous Beginnings, Kori Fletcher [most important books to read .TXT] 📗

"Summer! Get down here!" I heard my mom scream from downstairs. I whimpered a little; scared of what was prepared for me. I slowly made my way down the steps.
"Clean this house up. Its a mess. Then go take your little brothers to school. Hurry the fuck up. I don't want you in this house more than you need to be." she said to me.
"But Mom, if I take the boys to school, I will be late myself..." I said quietly.
She was in the middle of injecting herself with heroin. She slammed the needle onto the table, stood up, and put her face only a couple inches away from mine.
"You will do what I say when I say it. I don't care if you are late. My boys need to be at school on time. You; your nothing. They won't care if you're not there."
I hung my head in shame and went to do the chores she had told me to do. She cared so much about my little brothers. They were so much more important than me... A lot of the time, I just want to get away. I just want to run away from this madness. I don't want to have to wake up before school and have my mother remind me of how worthless I am. When I get home, she's at work, but that doesnt stop what my dad does to me.
When I come home from school, he's waiting for me. Waiting to hit me. Then touch me. Then hurt me. Invade my private parts. He hurts me more than my mother does. But he doesnt say a word to me. And yes, the physical pain hurts. But just the facts that he does what he does to his own daughter; hurts even more.
I walked my brothers to school and started to walk to my school. I was happy I was going to be late. I didn't want to have to face the kids of highschool. Their mean remarks about my scars on my arms. I had resorted to cutting but I stopped. Does that mean the kids will forget? No. They will haunt me with my wrongs for the rest of my fucking life. I hate having to walk through these halls and remember. Remember Jared.
Jared was my first love. I had had boyfriend's before but none of them made me feel like he did. He helped me forget about the abuse of my parents. He made me feel good about myself. I honestly, loved him. And at times, I think that I still do love him. But then I rememmber the night I caught him.
We had been dating for about 6 months. And there was this girl; Rebecca. I hated her. I still do. She's beautiful. A cheerleader. Popular. Just amazing. She knew how much I loved Jared. She hates me. So she went after him.
And her, being so beautiful and great, she got what she wanted. One night, I found her. With him. I went to his house in the morning. I wanted to surprise him. His mother let me in and I went upstairs to his room. And there , I found him and Rebecca laying in his bed. Fully naked. Sleeping soundlessly. I let silent tears race down my cheeks and raced out of there as fast as I could. To get away from all of the pain in that room.
I remember him so greatly. How he was to me. How much he pretended to care for me. How every day; I wanted so badly to never leave his arms. To never let his lips escape from mine. I wanted him so badly. I wanted his love.
We had been best friends since forever. But relationships can really mess up friendships. They can turn that friendship that was once so strong; into something so painful. It can change it to the point where you see each other every day and don't even look at each other. It can go to the point that you dont say "I love you" every single day anymore. You just watch the other person happily live their life. And it seems they will never know how much you suffer inside because of the loss of them. It is a horrible thing. You may ask; why would I even start a relationahip with him if I knew there was a possibilty it would end like this? Well you know what, the joy I felt when I was with him was even stronger than this pain I feel now that he's gone. I just wish I could still felll that joy. I wish I could still feel that ove.I wish I could still have hhim; to hold in my arms. To have forever.

Publication Date: 05-20-2011

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